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My opinion not necessarily correct! Breaks are really difficult and can cause many crazy emotions from each other. From my experiences breaks happen because someone’s feelings have changed. That doesn’t mean they don’t or didn’t love them, its just things people want different things and that’s life.
Look her motivation could be a number of things – drifting apart, mental health, age etc. but I know most of these connect to wanting new experiences/change.
She likely responded like that because of all the emotions she’s feeling and wanting new things but at the same time she loves you. I think there’s a bit of a drift happening between you both because of this ^
I've seen more people regret having kids than regret an abortion. No one regrets keeping the life they have over upending their life and others' lives.
Yeah we can both be pretty defensive, my past issues plays a past which im trying to fix and for her her ex boyfriend treated her horribly and i'm always trying to make her feel valued, it's just all new for me since im still quite young and never had someone love me like she does. I get defensive because i dont want to lose here.
I'm always willing to admit my mistake even when i didnt do it to make things better but i just dont feel understood, maybe she feels the same way..
why did you tell her that
He’s not thinking about his ex because he’s watching a tv show. He’s enjoying a tv show. With you
Dude, really? Do not get back with this woman. Do not remain friends with this woman. She is NOT the one for you and is playing you. Move on!
Please, calm down OP 🙂 if what he's saying is true I think it's one of the most beautiful things I read here on reddit! Tbh the preassure to finish if kinda embeded in our minds through porn and I do understand that feeling of awkwardness when your partner does not finish or is not nude anymore during intercourse. These things just sometimes happen and there's no need to make a big thing out of it. But what happend between you two was not happining for the need of an orgasm but for feeling more connected to eachother after an argument! It happend to me too with my current partner and the sex felt almost spiritual. It's like having that leftover emotional energy and tensity after an argument kinda melt away. If that's what you felt than I wouldn't worry about it. But I get that the suden stop could have ruind the moment a bit. In that case worrying about him not finishing wouldn't be my concern. My concern now is did you enjoed it fully? Did you feel that relieaf and was it fulfilling up to that point? Or are you unable to enjoy sex fully if your partner doesn't finish?
P.S. From reading your comments OP: If you are unable to finish during sex try you and your partner some sex toys! That way you can both have an orgasm and spark things up a little 😉
Wow, I definitely understand your Dad’s frustrations, especially if your Dad was great to you and expects the same from your husband. Your Dad doesnt like your husband, but your husband also shouldn’t have to ask to be invited back into their home.
Im not sure why you can’t spend half the day with your folks and half with your husband?
Wowie. He's going to cheat or try to cheat. Pushing boundaries already in your marriage.
I wouldn’t buy a house my wife isn’t contributing towards. Keep renting. You may have made a mistake marrying a financially irresponsible person.
You mentioned you've been feeling down and overwhelmed since the arrival of the baby. Have you considered getting therapy / babysitter? If he is so concerned with you bring “sad” and “fat” how about he uses some of his income to help take the strain off you??
Big chance he just wants easy sex. Block hil and move on?
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Id refuse and tell the kids the truth: that they are insecure and jealous and you don’t want someone like them as your kids. That they are so blinded by jealousy they think their fathers heart is so small that he would toss them out for them. That they would rather replace their living and involved father instead of sharing him, all because they can’t have him full time.
Boo hoo. Cry me a river.
They are horrible and your wife is not helping the situation.
Idk how your with her after this incident. Or how you can stand the kids.
Their father deserves better than them. Good on them for removing themselves from him.
Nothing with past arguments. She gets herself really worked up during arguments and will start spiraling, she says I talk over her and speak over her when we are arguing and it reminds her of her childhood when she couldn’t properly communicate her feelings to her emotionally neglectful mother. It sends her into a literal rage. I know I have communication problems I need to work on such as learning to let her speak and hear her out, but when I talk over her (i don’t do it on purpose, it’s out of habit) she will literally scream her lungs out at me. It got so bad one time I told her next time she does it, we break up because it’s not tolerable. I shut down when she yells at me like that, she sounded like the devil, I still remember
I think you're reading the mind of someone who is just mentally exhausted from dealing with my mom's stuff. I know what you mean, it's just nude to not give in when you're mentally done
now that i have my own money, i can quit you when i want.
but alternatively, we could sit at the table and plan together how we will manage our finance from now.
the two concerns will be adressed at once.
Oh I agree he’s definitely got predator vibes and I truly feel for her too. It would be super disappointing to see your dad fall for someone your age and down right gutting if he chose pussy over his own kid. But what do I know it might be true love on both parts but I’d say this relationship won’t last long. Hopefully when it’s over he’s not done too much harm to his and his daughter’s relationship and they can go from there.
Amy is the “one who got away.” It's a whole phenomenon. Look it up. You'll feel better and hopefully stop obsessing.
This belongs in r/AITA and yeah, YTA.
Women's “time” or “biological clock” isn't the same as men's.
I guess it makes me feel a little better if you guys had already hooked up and were in the same room/bed. But it’s still worrisome to think what he might do when intoxicated, if he was given the chance again.
I'm talking purely physically.
Most women are fully developed physically by 18-21 so no. They don't look like children.
What a weird thing to say. You think a 21 year old woman looks like an actual child?
I truly feel for you but this is not the way to go about the situation. Attraction aside, true romantic love requires effort. The separation will only serve to lessen your connection and will inevitably lead to divorce.
Just to add to this, she was supposed to rebuild her trust and confidence before entering the relationship, not while in a relationship. It's a long, long road and as Corgi says, she may not heal while in this relationship (which is very common), so OP, unless you believe you can handle her current behavior and quirks for a long time (quite possibly forever), I'd consider cutting the chord early.
(Hopefully she'll get the help needed to be an excellent partner)
You cheated. Exclusive means not getting with anyone else. You didn’t even tell him what your plans were with this girl or that you were going to have sex with her, you just assumed he’d know that’s what you’re doing.
Your relationship was never open. If you open a relationship you need to sit down and have a conversation with them about it and set all your boundaries and the other person then needs to agree. He had no idea you were open so you didn’t do this with him.
You can’t put the blame on him, it’s your fault.
Nameless, faceless people are not more important than you. Ask them who these people are? Why is their two second judgment more important than your happiness? Tear it apart. Make them feel like crap.
I’m sorry. But you need to leave him.
Sounds restrictive. That marriage won't last long.
Intentions: Good
Delivery: Awful
Why would you want to continue a relationship with a man that takes no accountability and has no remorse? Dig down deep, find a little self love and dump him.
Maybe you learning how to give her any positive attention at all without having to be begged for it?
I’ve brought this up to him before and it’s always the same answer of “I make my own decisions but my family’s opinion is important to me”. It’s very strange that he prioritizes his family’s opinion so much that he lies about going to church, what he does on the weekends, etc.
I try not to judge harshly because he came from a totally different family dynamic but his mother definitely controls the home. His dad is very kind and understanding and remains quiet when she is talking to me. I wish someone would tell her to watch her words and her tone because it comes off very hateful.
I’m going to talk to him about counseling tonight and maybe he can extent the offer to his mother (;
It feels like you’re being purposefully obtuse and trying to get people to take your side.
Of course it normally wouldn’t be an issue to ask someone what they had for lunch or who they went to lunch with when it’s a genuine question. But when it’s loaded to the point you’re going throw a fit based on the answer then yes. It’s policing.
What you’re doing is resource guarding. You want him not to spend money with others if he can’t spend money with you.
He knows he’s going to get I trouble one way or the other. He’s in a double bind. If he tells you the truth, he’s in trouble now. If he lies, he may be in trouble later. But as he’s conflict averse, he choosing to chance it on later.
You are not entitled to his money.
You both sound immature. Lying is stupid. What you’re doing is stupid. The whole things is stupid.
You're not being insensitive. Your boyfriend is in a toxic “friendship” and he can't even see it. If I were you, I'd sit him down and ask him if he is really happy with this situation. What does he get out of a friendship that is clearly hurting him? What does this supposed friend bring that's positive to his life? Try asking these questions as gently as possible.
You can’t ask him to wait for you, that isn’t fair. But you need to be healthy to be in a healthier relationship so you made the right choice.
It sounds to me like your FWB wants to explore their feelings towards you but also they are in love with their current partner. Since your adding that you don’t see yourself developing feelings for the current partner, I’d say stay out of it. If you are not open to exploring and developing a relationship with both of these people who, sounds like, are in a committed partnership then you shouldn’t get involved. Openness and sharing are important pillars of any poly relationship.
That said, as an internet stranger I vote you explore building a poly relationship with both these people since you are in love with one. Love is always worth pursuing. Good luck to you!
Looks fade. Be happy he likes your personality?? It kind of sucks but I dated guys for their personality. Looks are not important to me but how you treat me is.
This is abuse. Abuse happens slowly. It builds. It won’t get better. He told you it’s not going to change. Time to put up with it or get away while you still can.
Only messaged after 11pm to 12am and then wouldn’t respond to a clear meetup plan?
Sorry but my gut feeling says that he’s married or hiding something
Just move on, He was a walking red flag
I cannot thank you enough for your words. This has touched something in my soul that I need to hear. He has been saying things similar to this and I have so badly wanted to believe it. Hearing it from someone else that isn't just in his corner is giving me what I needed to start the process of leaving this in the past. I truly cannot thank you enough
I’d be glad the relationship is over. He sounds immature and should have been honest with you a year ago. He wasted a lot of your time. Now you’re free and can move on. There is nothing wrong with you
Y’all I totally understand the harsh and tough love comments. But sometimes it’s extremely very hot for people to understand that they are worthy and deserving of love and respect and proper treatment. OP, I sincerely hope you try and reach out to a therapist. It’s really great to have someone to talk to, who you can trauma dump on, who won’t judge you. I wish you all the best
The timestamp will be accurate. Stop getting played.
Bruh, your relationship started because she was cheating on her ex with you.
Don't be surprised if this relationship ends how it started.
Come on, he’s a Reddit doctor.
LOL!
u/dojasaurus
You are right, I just don't know the best way to go about it without hurting her.
She doesn't seem aware of how she's acting, to her everything's just the same as it always. I'm not the only one either who's noticed a change in her and isn't really liking it
I've been distancing myself for my own sake but I feel to completely end the friendship is likely to result in a blow up from her side and is the last thing I need to deal with at the moment. Barely hear from her during pregnancy so she's likely to just fade away once baby's here
Thank you ❤️
WTF has that much free time?
So what do you want advice on?
End it. You deserve better. Move forward. New doors will open.
Well it sounds like you have undiagnosed ADHD (probably the ‘inattentive’ variation) which leads to distraction so you don’t complete tasks, executive dysfunction so you put off starting tasks and time-blindness so you don’t realise the passage of time or how long you are going to need to complete tasks.
It’s a rough ride but there’s resources on the Internet.
Search out ‘ADHD memes’ and see if it makes sense.
Is this like a common thing then? Like I can’t help but feel off-put. Maybe I’m overreacting.
There's no right or wrong answer here OP.
Seems like she’s currently within his preference. I don’t like tattoos but I would date a guy with a couple and still find him attractive. But that could change depending on how many more tattoos he gets. I can’t see myself being attracted to a full sleeve, full chest, face tats etc. and when someone is 18 you can’t tell how many tattoos they will get, it would be silly to write someone off for one tattoo because they might get more.
I unfortunately don’t have any family near by to help me with any of this. I’ve tried some jobs live! but it’s so naked to find one that’s not fake and just a scam. I almost got scammed one time and ever since I’ve been scared to try anything further .
Ummm I am not getting the same take as you at all.
You are the one who is likely in the wrong here. Asking him to present a joke or mini set for you was weird and he was probably nervous.
Take the job!
I mean even if nothing actually happened and they truly just sat and talked, her reaction to you chatting with a girl for 5 minutes at a public bar (assuming there was also nothing sus happening during that convo, which I’m certainly not accusing you of) is a major red flag. Does she usually, or has she ever, reacted like that to any similar situations before?
If you move in don’t take money your mom is willing to give you each month.. that will really upset them and not accept your relationship..
This^
I wouldn't let my ego get in the way of a clean break up. Especially with someone who has already shown potential to accuse of you of something you didn't do.
dude, ruuuun
huge leap
She could use some therapy to get out of that toxic cycle