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It sounds like you are in a difficult situation and it can be very hot to know what to do when you have strong feelings for two people. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide what is best for you and your relationships.
It can be helpful to think about your values and priorities. What is most important to you when it comes to relationships? Are you looking for connection, emotional support, physical intimacy, or something else? What qualities do you need in a partner?
It is also important to consider how your decision may affect your current relationship. If you decide to pursue a relationship with N, it is important to be honest and clear with your current partner about your feelings. It is likely to be difficult, but it is important to respect your current partner and be honest with them.
Finally, it may be helpful to talk to someone you trust about your feelings and get their perspective. It can be helpful to talk to a friend, family member, or professional counselor to help you make the best decision for yourself.