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I'm not even trying to get married though, that's the thing. I'd just like a relationship with someone who isn't trying to find something short term. If I see short term relationship on a profile or they say it in conversation, that's my turn off and I'm done. It feels pointless to me to make a relationship knowing you're just gonna throw it out anyways
Why not JUST focus on school/work if it's that time consuming that you can't commit to anyone? Seems like a time management issue or people wanting to have their cake and eat it too
OP, I like your resilience. When a negging clown like your EX-boyfriend does shit like that, laughing at him is the least you can do. He obviously is too dense to take a hint so, for your own sanity, please walk away. You're on the right track, keep going.
Are you not mad at your husband…? They didn’t tell you directly because of his actions. He told them you knew. He lied to you twice, and for just as long.
Uh gee, yeah. if it is legit, if its questionable you could say you heard a rumor.
100% agree with every word.
Finally a sane person
Ride the storm and break up in Janaury.
Sorry, but this kind of sounds like you two are incompatible.
When it comes to the internal dynamics of your reletionship, the way you two interact with each other daily, these things should be handled delicately .
You relayed this to him early on:
When we first started dating, I told him this was an issue I had, and I don't know why I'm like that, but I don't want to be like this.
That means, he knew what he was signing up for. You're aware of it, and want to fix it.
That does not mean its cool to use a harsh tone like you're not doing enough. The key point is that you've been putting in effort and that effort is what counts. The effort is what demonstrates love.
Relationships should be 50/50 when it comes to responsibilities. But how you two handle each-others love languages should never result in a conflict.
His handling of this is counterproductive. If he stopped using a sharp tone and instead praised you for your progress… he would probably yield better results overall.
Shitting on someone who is working at something, what is that going to do? Nothing. Most likely give them the “I am not good enough, I should just give up on this” mindset.
I think you should point this out to him. He needs to be more delicate with your personality (which is why I think incompatible).
Might be true:
He said he doesn't know what he's getting from this relationship.
But what people also get out of reletionship is the other persons company. If their company is not good enough at the base-level, it will never work out. Everything else is a matter of optimizing the reletionship.
You're trying… which is the key point here. If someone is actively putting in effort to correct themselves for the reletionship, that alone means they've “shown up” to the reletionship.
You could also realistically find another reletionship with someone who is more in tune with you… which is why he needs to respect your effort. When your reletionship makes you feel like this, hurt, not good enough, its not the greatest sign.
Also take into consideration: There are other ways of showing affection besides what he is listing… but he's demanding you adapt to his way. You can work on developing his way as you should in a reletionship, but how you independently display your affection cannot be tossed out the window.
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I don't see how it's too early to talk about this. Setting boundaries is going to be an important aspect of any relationship you forge together and it's better to address it now vs later imo.
You need to know if she'd be amiable to working with you on this before moving forward, especially being that she's casually raised quite a few yellow to red flags.
Keep the lines of communication open and address it as soon as possible.
Just ask her the next afternoon for the following weekends
You need to get out. I see your worry about throwing away a good thing, but this relationship is NNOTa good thing. It is unhealthy and draining you.
Every relationship needs space.
I was wondering why there weren't any comments calling out the age gap. Then I re-read more carefully and saw it was a relationship between two woman. Also very far fetched. Clearly a troll post to point out the hypocrisy in this subreddit.
Definitely. How much effort did he put in? Surely you would have to find specific folic acid tablets that look enough like birth control, that would take some trial and error. Purchase them, do the switch out, hide all evidence. It's not a split second decision, there's thought and planning behind it. So many points where he could have stopped and realised wtf he was doing.
He's too pathetic to break up w you. Dump him. Don't talk to him about anything, just msg him that its over and block him.
Cool.
Whatever lets you not look into your own relationship.
I think this is just a weird hill to die on, especially from your girlfriend’s perspective. No matter what your excuse actually is, this will forever come across to her as you wanting to hold onto the memory of another woman from your past. Not a good look, even if you insist that’s not the case. The easiest thing to do, if you really care about this relationship, it to delete/archive the pic… Maybe that feels “controlling,” but I will say there are very few women around this age who want to see pictures of your ex on your social media, lol. I personally find it pretty normal to get rid of pictures of exes… especially upon entering a new relationship. Others don’t see it that way, but my opinion just goes to show it’s not completely out of the ordinary for her to have this request.
You have to decide how much you care about her comfort and security, versus your social media appearance. If this is a major red flag for you, then you’re likely not compatible in other ways too,
I've been married for 15 years, together for 20 and neither of us has ever asked the other to “look through ” their phone. Absolutely toxic behaviour
Did OP say the title was a typo? I see a lot of people calling them “girl” and “she”.