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  1. Hello /u/tiredhungrygirl. We do not allow submissions that involve minors. Should you have any questions, or if you feel this was in error please contact our mod team.

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  2. Women do have a time scale. It's cruel to just lead her on. Sorry but I find your comment to be actually mental.

  3. You are a lot like me. My wife passed away suddenly two months ago and I am truly alone now. It is very naked coping right now and having a social circle would have been helpful.

  4. Think about this. Instead of wasting time with him you could be in the beginning of a new relationship where you are treated like a Queen.

    Or concentrating on yourself and finding out why you don’t think you’re worthy.

  5. I can see why you’d come up with this conclusion. Yes, we actually do have a pretty great relationship. It’s not about him showing approval for things he approves of. He’s like that about stuff in his life too. Just a negative scenario kind of person. He doesn’t tell me what I need to do or how I should handle things. He doesn’t think he knows better than I do. He indeed is considerate in all other areas of the relationship, recently I got sick and went to the urgent care. He spent all night there with me then went to work all day immediately after. Then he came and cleaned my house because I wasn’t feeling up to it. He shows love and care in many different ways. Even when he makes the negative comments about something he still doesn’t shut it down, like we still do it and we usually have a good time. It’s more about him having that initial negative reaction to things. That’s what’s draining for me sometimes.

  6. Similar to what is written here except she claims he is her husband and best friend (yeah, right). She says she doesn’t remember the night due to drinking and she insists that she is not a lesbian.

  7. It’s sad that everything should be somewhat instant now. People no longer want to spend time getting to know someone organically ?

  8. I guess I see it as a dealbreaker because she loves this cat more than anything and if I can't bring myself to love it then maybe its best i leave.

  9. You may need to use an analogy. A gift related to an activity you do together – one that she tolerates mainly cuz you enjoy it.

  10. You aren’t butting into anything! That’s what’s great about Reddit!

    I’m glad our stories helped you in some way and that you’re free from your abuser. It’s sooooo difficult to even get to a point of recognizing that we aren’t crazy or the problem in the relationship.

    For you to have accomplished that and to have totally cut them from your life is truly an amazing feat and I hope this isn’t weird but I’m proud of you! ❤️

    It’s really naked to quantify to those who have never experienced anything like it how truly deeply these abusive relationships affect us. Reading others’ stories here has helped me soooooo much on my journey of healing. It helps me process things that have happened to me in a different way because when I see it happening to someone else I realize how bad it really is. I’m not sure if that makes sense lol but for me it’s easier to recognize the bad situation you were or are in when you see it through another person’s eyes.

    Our minds and our reality get so twisted up by our abusers and getting out is like trying to separate chocolate and vanilla ice cream. A lot of it just feels like it’s so mixed up that it’s turned into a new flavor altogether and that’s very hot to accept sometimes.

    It’s really sad another person is taking the force of his abuse. We just have to remember that there’s always going to be someone they’re hurting until the abuser gets medical help. Try to remember how naked it was for you to leave and if it’s appropriate and safe then maybe just make sure she will have access to support when things get really bad. It’s really all we can do as survivors.

    Sorry for rambling! I wish you all the best in the world ❤️

  11. He is trying to condition you into being okay with him cheating in the future. Don't let his AH nature be your problem and dump him.

  12. And do you call them out for that? or do you sit there and let them complain.

    I get being beaten down by shitty people and shitty ideals, but they won't stop if you don't confront them.

    You need to stick up for yourself because you do matter beyond the services you provide to others.

    I really don't know how to say it gently and I am sorry for that. I've had to break a lot of cycles in my life. I know it is exhausting to challenge people and all that, I just don't know why some people will build up a group around them they cannot depend upon. Why stay in toxic patterns when you can find people who will actually grow and appreciate you? It's your life! It's the only one you get and it's too short to make yourself small for people who only love the image of you rather than the you that exists.

    The women you're attracted to don't want strong masculine guys. Strong masculine guys get to express themselves and be supported. They want weak men who have bought into a false image of manhood. Don't destroy yourself over people who can't even appreciate you for who you are.

  13. I just don't get it. Just because it's not what she wanted for herself doesn't mean she doesn't have to 'roll with the punches' now that she has FOUR kids with this man. Just to up and a leave because she has to deal with an 'ex' now seems incredibly selfish to me. Not just to abandon her husband in a time of need but to wrench those 4 children from the father that is and wants to be an active daily presence in their lives. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but that's life!

    Plus – she's already proven she can love children that are not her own. Most children that are adopted are meant to be in touch with their birth families and heritage in some form or another. Plus most kids are in put in to adoption because their birth family is a less than perfect situation. So surely she's familiar with the concept of loving a child that comes with issues around birth families.

  14. This relationship sounds terrible. You said he’s sexist, racist and cruel (playing mean pranks is cruel). Your mistake was not breaking up with this guy sooner.

  15. As a bi woman I get what you're saying but I think that cat is out of the bag and has been for like ten years at least.

    People still think queer is a slur and in some communities it is.

  16. I’m not sure if it’s considered drunk? It’s just a little past buzzed. He’ll drink 4-5 IPAs a day on the weekend. 2 IPAs on a week night, but that’s probably 1-2 days during the week. He had agreed to stop drinking Monday-Thursday, but I came home late tonight and he definitely drank while I was gone. He’ll usually find an excuse to drink. He said he was going to cut back, but I think it’s getting progressively worse. He’s been drinking since he was 12 years old (his dad needed a drinking buddy ?). My parents don’t drink and I’ve never been into it much, so sometimes I just think maybe I’m the abnormal one.

  17. Regrets it big time now, realised I give her the world on a daily basis and wants us to carry on. So do I but struggling with how

  18. His response to me trying to talk is to resort to yelling, sometimes name-calling, and when he's done yelling he will spend the next couple of days refusing to speak to me and being super short/semi rude in his responses if i ask him something.

    At best, this is immature as fuck.. But in this context, yeah: emotional abuse.

    and things are honestly pretty great as long as I don't bring up the hurtful things he did in the past.

    So things are great….until you need to talk about something serious that was never resolved because he didn't own his actions?

    Love is great. Love is not enough.

  19. He's going to tell you whatever you want to hear so he can keep a 21 year old in his thrall.

    He's never going to give you kids.


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