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This is why women often prefer to be in a long-term relationship with men that are a little less attractive then themselves. Because they feel a bit more secure, confident that he doesn't have too many options if he would ever stray. Also, a woman may not feel like she's as much of the “star of the show”, if the dude is extremely handsome.
Of course this depends on the woman.
The story makes absolutely no sense, is made of irrelevant disconnected bits chosen specifically to make everyone feel bad for OP and sounds obviously fake. Also, there is no question posed at all here. At least try a bit harder next time.
Why should he apologize? He did not do anything wrong.
If he apologize for her actions when he made it clear and she knew then he is setting a standard of apologizing just to make her happy and she will expect that every time.
She gets mad so he apologize to keep peace. He becomes miserable in the relationship and ends up resenting her
Yep sound like solid advice to me /s
Thanks, don't know what to think anymore really.
Maybe don't worry so much about what's normal and start worrying about what works for you. Yes, we all know that other people can be attractive. No, i dont think that fantasizing about them is the next step. I think porn in general had been normalized way too much and people don't realize how it can be addicting or hurt their love life. You are allowed to have boundaries about that. He's also allowed to reject that boundary and find a partner who's ok with porn. For me personally, I'd love a man that's as focused on me as I am on him. I do consider porn a deal breaker in relationships because I know I just cannot stomach it and I'd rather keep sexual energy something special between us two, whether it's in person or just pics and videos of each other
yeah i think demisexual might fit me a lot. thank you!
He shouldn’t have left that long but damn doesn’t mean she can cheat.
I've been SA'd when I was a child and understand your pain. Please get away from this person. He's so unbelievably toxic beyond belief. He's disrespectful and you need someone who will cherish you. I remember when I cried so much when I told my current partner and he held me close and made sure I felt secure before doing anything. Then I explained about my struggles and we worked through it as a team. This guy you're with is boiling my piss right now. Get him out of your life!
Honestly that’s probably even worse for him. Be with people because you want to be with them, not because you don’t want to be alone.
This is not the point but why do you even know about his itchy bum?? If my partner was like, “my asshole is sooo itchy” on even one occasion, much less MULTIPLE occasions, I would be sus.
Then, gross parasite man tries to f’n manipulate you into sex?!?!
Rid yourself of your bf right along with the worms and never look back.
Yeah, I’ve slept with several trans girls. All of them super down to earth people. And they were all really good in bed. I personally don’t have a problem with it (clearly). The vagina isn’t the most attractive part of a woman
I guess I didn’t tell her right away after the second time because I just didn’t want to go through the drama of it all again. It was so terrible the first time. It’s crossed my mind a lot even before I found out they got engaged, but I wanted to move on from that.
So what your saying is as a guy I should just stay single.
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A lot of places to takeaway/delivery now, how about you set up a table all fancy looking at home and have the food delivered to you? That way you can eat the good food, have a restaurant type setting but all in the comfort of your own home.
Sadly this shouldn’t be an issue. Geez, it’s just nudity. I’m guessing your in the United States where nudity is an issue. Hell saunas in Europe are typically clothing optional. She’s there to play hockey, she was honest about it. What’s the big deal?
Your girlfriend is a child predator. Like, if the genders were switched here no one would have any hesitation to say that. She's a fucking monster and should be in jail. We need to stop pretending like women can't be vicious child predators too–and in my experience hearing survivor stories they are ALWAYS the worst.
I've been in a relationship a lot like this. I couldn't mention another girl, if I did it would obviously mean I'm cheating. I just got a glimpse of my alternate future. I got scared
Is it her, or is it women in general? If you try to picture yourself intimate with a man, does it invoke similar feelings?
I'm guessing you broke up with your ex because he's not the responsible type. And you very likely monkey-branched to your current guy. You probably don't really like the guy all that much, however, he's financially stable, trusting toward you, and likely pretty level headed.
So you find him boring and predictable. So you call up your ex for some excitement. But he pushed it too far for you, and now you are looking for a way to appease your conscience.
You'll most likely delete this post when enough people call you trash. And you'll get frustrated with people telling you that you should own up to what you did.
I think you originally wrote this with the hopes that people would maybe sympathize with you and tell you your ex was a jerk, and he took advantage of you in an emotional situation, in order for you to feel better about the choices you made.
You're a bitch who blames other people for your lack of control and use the spectrum as a reason to be a shitty partner. Kudos.
Aaa what a wonderful boyfriend you have there. He's like the best boyfriend ever. Crème dela cream. Do not by any means let him go. Even if it costs you your mental or physical health. you will never get anyone as good as him. Go beg for forgiveness for things you didn't even do as soon as tomorrow
The guy knew me and her dated and she had a moment of honesty and told me everything. Also I didn't literally mean rip a head off yall take things to literally. What I mean like if the kid was alive I could of confronted the situation but now I can't do a single thing about it and it's eating me alive. It's like his one last HA Fuck you you can't do shit about it, peace✌️
Get couples therapy if you are going to survive
Good for him
He will do this again. Why wouldn't he
I would vomit if a man did this to me. Pregnancy is not a joke.
Break up and move on.
I only say this because he doesn't try to change.
Either he has medical issues or mental issues relationship issues, but either way he is unwilling to work on it.
so he is picking and choosing the rules he likes and doesnt like then. Feel free to bring that up and cut off the nookie, cuz that is a sin. Make sure he gets his own place away from you, he shouldn't be living with you without being married.
Not my experience, but I have brainstormed two proposals for you to try.
First idea. I'd offer her a bargain, in which you agree that you will forever make absolutely no claim to the fruits of her labor, so long as she agrees to make no claim to yours. That whatever she gets is hers to enjoy as she likes.
If she agrees, then you can propose that the fruits of our labor include whatever we get, whether in cash or in kind. “In kind” are such things as health plans and other insurance, wellness plans, retirement plans, parental leave, bereavement leave, sick leave, and paid PTO.
If she agrees, then you can propose that a shortened work-day now and then is such a benefit. Just as her money is hers to enjoy as she likes, so is your shortened work-day.
Second idea. Tell her that both her distrust over money, and her disgust over how you spend your free time, are disrespectful. But you're an understanding guy, and perhaps she says these things cuz of high anxieties. So you are prepared to allow her to go on with this behavior without pushback, only you expect something in return when she takes such exceptional liberties against you.
So from now on, if she sherlocks your finances again, it will cost her $X. Reminding you by word or deed that she doesn't trust you not to take her money will cost $XX. Telling you that you're not spending your spare time as she thinks you should will cost $XXX. The penalties don't have to be cash, so long as you agree on what they will be. But if she's as obsessed with money as I suspect, the cash penalties will be the ones she'll try hardest to avoid incurring.
Is this a karen approach ? like how would this help her more importantly the future child at all , well they are clearly doing relationship counseling which is good solving some insecurity between one another. You would think after a 12 year Mariage that both People love each other more than whatever seeking no other person as a love interest making said lover pregnant as a bonding pact My gues that boob picture is merely porn / a way to get of without any meaning to it whatsoever for example when the both of them don't want to fck and to stay sane 1 gets itself of. Relieving stress.
Well we can all agree that op knows the best interest of themselves and hopefully good solutions not based of opinions from random strangers on reddit.
Lol I don't hate her – I don't even know her personally, I can't emit such a quick judgment. She's probably cool if they dated. It's the relationship between them that I find strange. And yes I know it's a personal problem, hence why I asked if it's better to just break up since I'm the one feeling this way.
A year ago, I was talking to a guy that I wanted to meet on a dating app. Out of the blue, he told me that I could never expect to be more than fwb with him. I asked why and he told me that due my weight, he could only have sex with me when he was in a certain mood, so ofc, this can't lead to a relationship.
I told him that I was not looking for a relationship but that his comment made me feel too self aware and I lost interest on him. He tried to take it back but I thanked for his time and blocked him.
People are entitled to like what they like, but they are not entitled to use you and put conditions to love you. Your bf is totally entitled to like skinny girls, but after eight years of relationship and the express of wanting to have a family with you, he put conditions to officialize what you guys already have is shallow and selfish. You guys already live! together,.you guys already have a house together..he using this that you really want as a way to control you and mold you in to the person he wishes you to be, emotional or physical, tells me that your relationship will always have this dynamic where he punishes or rewards you for your behavior.
Even if you lose weight in months,.you can gain it again, and what will happen? He will resent you because life got in the way? Because you got pregnant, got sick, got older? When you will be good enough for him?
I would think deeply if this is the guy you really want to be on sickness and poverty. Is easy to be happy in health and happiness, but the wedding vows go way beyound that.
That means either party could be way off the mark until they put the numbers down and work out if the finances are fair
I'll try to sit down with her and create some monthly and quarterly forecasts based on past expenses and known recurring ones. However its hard to see where her money goes exactly since she doesn't log her expenses.
Yeah?she just keeps teasing me over and over and I said it’s not funny or cute anymore it just pisses me off
Yeah this is exactly the chick that weaponizes mental health and tells OP she's gonna hurt herself if he leaves. OP get away now!
If she can see that you're over her cheating, then you'll be the perfect doormat partner for her. She'll have a kid with you, then have a bunch of affairs, maybe an affair baby, and you'll sit back and take it.
My bad. just read comments, I'll re type later.
I would make that an absolute requirement for staying in a sustained relationship with this person. He has such extraordinary emotional sensitivity that he can't have conversations with you. That's a dealbreaker and it should be, if it continues, it means it will be literally impossible for you to have a healthy relationship.
Lmao your sister is a narcissist who tries to get you riled up for her own pleasure. Ignore her, don't let her see anything getting to you. She'll get bored and leave you alone. Say “okay” always agree, never engage her in convos beyond “mhmm” “yes” basically treat her like an annoying ghost
Attempting to move into her building – My tenancy will end next year and her building offer better facilities while also being close to where i work. I was going to move there by the end of this year. Tried hard to involve – I tried to make her workout with me or do some activities that we could do atleast 3-4 times a week. Nothing more.
Maybe you're right and these things might be too much for her. I'll just have a final talk with her and will see where it'll go.
There is absolutely no reason to hit anyone! Dump him if he’s violent and outs you in these situations that often that you “have to hit him!” Did his mom hit him too or just you?
He sounds like he may be on the autism spectrum, or just shy through lack of socialization.
He definitely likes you, and continuing to be ‘so close that others on your floor are suggesting you date’ is leading him on if you don’t want to date him.
To give a different perspective, my wife is largely a homebody. You might find her at the library. Me? Nerdy frat boy. I go clubbing almost every week with a friend of mine. I’m not super social, but I’m far from my wife in that regard. My wife doesn’t hold me back, and I don’t force her out. It can work.
If you don’t date him, don’t string him along either.
My suggestion would be to invite him to a club you’re in, or a party. At a party, find the quiet fringe and hang out there with him. See if he warms up to socializing, some people just need a push and positive reinforcement after a lifetime of rejection.
You could also see if you can make it work with him being the homebody and you going out. That takes immense amounts of trust though.
If you don’t want date him you could casually mention liking a guy and asking his opinion on him. Name the other guy so your friend knows it’s not him. That’ll let him know he’s in the friend zone. (Honestly, if you care about his feelings at all, you won’t date someone else without subtly mentioning it to him first because your relationship sounds like you’ve been dating but without the sex for a while now).
This friendship will change regardless of what you do. If you start dating others he will distance himself, or other guys will get jealous of your relationship with him and you will distance yourself. Dating him could end negatively and you won’t be friends after. So, IMHO, you have nothing to lose by dating him. Take a chance on him!