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The girlfriend did give her a chance TWICE a D said she didn't like it! End of story get over it or break up if it's so dam important.
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. It's good that you realise you did everything you could, because you did.
Now, as to the kids;
1) Make sure they know that you love their mom and that you're not trying to replace her. 2) Make sure that they are fully aware of the fact that they are in no way to blame for any of it. (Kids tend to have a talent for making everything their fault.) 3) Make sure they know that they can ALWAYS come to you with questions, if they want to talk about their mom, what not. Of they feel comfortable, share stories of her growing up. 4) Make sure to ALWAYS be honest about what happened, but do so in an age appropriate manner discuss this with their therapist. 5) Make sure they do not feel like guests in your home. If possible, let them decorate their own rooms or whatever else you can do to help them realise that your home is their home as well. 6) Do not try and force any of the above on them. Make sure they know you're available but let them come to you. 7) Surround them with as many happy memories as you can, but don't turn their surroundings into a crypt for their mother. Remembering her is key, so is slowly going on with life. 8) Her kids will likely present and feel as a team and will group together, be inclined to take care of each other. Let them know you're there for them, but don't force it. 9) Involve them in ypur pregnancy. Make sure they don't feel like you'll forget about them as soon as your babies are born (congrats, by the way), make sure they feel equal.
Unless she's going to be out crazy late, I don't care. Even then, it's only because if she isn't home I start to worry
What do you you? Well, you realize that breaking up with him doesn't require his consent. You realize that he doesn't get to decide whether he “lets” you break up with him. You stop punishing yourself (smoking again) when the solution is right there: tell him you weren't asking for his permission to break up, that you do not want to see him again, and that if he continues to bother you you will get a restraining order. Then follow through.
HAVE HER GET A LAWYER. Write up the contract. The contract must be notarized.
It must stipulate you are severing all parental responsibility including CHILD SUPPORT. NO COLLEGE HELP OR WEDDING HELP FOR THAT CHILD EITHER. NO MEDICAL HELP EITHER. SHE'S ON HER OWN HERE.
YOU must get a lawyer to look it up, make sure ITS IRON CLAD SO IT DOESN'T BITE YOUR ? LATER. Have him/her approve the contract.
No judgement here. But do this intelligently. If in doubt, the insemination can be administered in a doctors office with the contract STILL STIPULATING YOU HAVE SEVERED ALL PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY. THAT SHE IS 100% FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHILD.
GET A LAWYER. ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️
Well, he definitely had testes when he stopped using condoms. Very functional ones…
Hey, ive been through this, you have to first of all, delete them off everywhere, go no contact no matter how nude that must be, then you realize that eventually you'll start thinking less and less about them and eventually they will be a distant memory. good luck!
I agree with your point. My partner has been doing this to me, but for months at a time. I said the same thing “I’ll be patient, but if we don’t touch each other for years then we gotta go out separate ways”. In most cases, when the sex goes, there’s a higher chance of the relationship going.
I’m not sure why the therapist thought the idea of dividing based on time/effort was an odd idea. That’s how I divided chores for my step kids. They negotiated which chores and swapped each week but had to have equal “time”.
Anyway…I WFH, work longer hours, and make a lot more money than my partner who works FT outside the house.
I still do the menu planning, grocery shop, most of the cooking, all laundry but his though I sometimes do his too, and I do most of the cleaning.
Because I’m home, I can keep laundry going. Because I’m home, I can do some meal prep between meetings or vacuum for a few min.
I spend my Sat morning doing the menu, shop, and major cleaning. During the week, I do the minor upkeep and cooking.
If my partner’s kiddo has to stay home sick or remote school like for quarantine, I take care of that.
I am all for trying to keep things equal where it makes sense. It just doesn’t always make sense. In your case, I don’t think it’s going to work if your partner has a really strict day and also has to do homeschool stuff.
Life isn’t always “fair”. And you two are a team. All the shit has to get done. If you can get more done so you have more free time together? That’s what I’d do. That’s what I (44F) AM doing.
my dad left when I was two months old and didn't get on contact with me until I was 13 yrs old
In literally the last paragraph, yo. Did you just skim or something?
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You don't have to make a baby with this man.
Lol “self harm accomplice” isn't a thing. That's stupid.
I absolutely fucking hate to ask, as I'm sure I won't want to know, but I've seen this a lot recently popping up. What is it from?
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
She’s in a pretty wacky recovery period from a toxic phase and isn’t stable enough for a relationship, imo
First, he's too old for you. You're at a life stage for exploring the world and your place in it. He's at a life stage where he's clinging to any woman who will have him (and most, won't), with little ability to plan a future beyond that day.
You should at a minimum stop living with him, actually break up but at least, live! on your own. I recommend finding a housemate situation with other young adults, to make rent more affordable and it's also more pleasant than a solitary existence.
Your bf is a grown man. Let him worry about where to sleep. If he can't quite afford a hotel, there are men's homeless shelters. Don't cave in and let him move in with you. That's not where you need your life to be going.
Your in a very vulnerable position right now, imagine if you married him and gave up your job to be a stay at home mother. You would be completely trapped and at his mercy. I do not think it would end well for you.
This here is the YOU character in full real life
He becks you, because you come back every time. Don't use Instagram for a while, or set up a new profile. You keep putting him in your head. You need to stop, or you will repeat this over and over. How much more time do you want to waste on this guy?
I head this on the news, a teen committed suicide over this sort of scam, they were the second one to do so. I think they scam whoever takes the bait, they have no clue how much money a person has or doesn’t.
At first she only said it was too much, and I took it too far and manipulated her kindness.
This is not the sign of a supportive partner, especially one so insistent on sharing your pain and helping you through it; I'm sorry this is happening and I hope you find the genuine support system you deserve.
Wouldn’t be surprised if this whole cheating thing and accepting the cock cage punishment was all apart of his kink. Pack your bags and leave, throw away the key for lols.
As an European – I would love to be able to visit the Caribbean Islands or Mexico :'D I don't know wtf your man is on about
A flannel and underwear are two different things
Don’t date her. She doesn’t care about herself or others, and she may have an alcohol problem. She also seems manipulative. Find someone else to be with.
He's being abusive. Your partner should support you through mistakes not berate and belittle you. You deserve more respect than that. Especially since he knows you are autistic so there's things you don't get right away or understand so well. A partner shows you grace and leads you to the right direction. After being in an abusive relationship it is nude to differentiate from healthy and abusive relationships. You were paying for the gas so the least he could've done is pump it himself.
So you violated his privacy by going through his phone, not just once but multiple times. Then you went even further and read his diary? Damn. You fucked around and found out. You shouldn't be with each other, you need to work on your insecurities, and he needs to work on why he “fell in love” with some random he doesn't know at all.
He drinks heavily, acts inappropriately when drinking (e.g., pees on a building), he's broke, he has a suspended license, and he's not acting planfully about his future. He stays out late drinking several times a week.
I'm not sure why you can't see this, but I'm pretty confident in my assessment.
I was thinking the exact same thing. People are literally telling her what she wants and why she wants it, with hundreds of upvotes. They are showing far less respect than the boyfriend. It is still her personal decision either way.
If you do you have to stick with it.
Wow I think this is the other side of a post the guy did here. If so, lots of new info
Wow I think this is the other side of a post the guy did here. If so, lots of new info
I’d say find a guy who knows how to throw down, this guys trying way too nude to be Mr sensitive
Hmmmm these could be major red flags. They could he or maybe he’s hiding his family for some reason. Maybe it’s them he’s keeping away from you.
I guess if you trust your partner in all other aspects then it’s good to give benefit of the doubt?
But you could also be a secret second family or something. Who knows.
Did you not read the part in the post where he says she absolutely wants a baby? Your comment is so unhelpful to the situation
This is not a healthy relationship. If you are afraid of your partner ever, it’s time to get out. Normally I’m the one giving everyone the benefit of the doubt but he is doing this to intimidate you. That is never ok. You deserve a partner that makes you feel safe. ?
This is a big red flag and it sounds like brining a baby into this dynamic isn’t the best choice. This will probably get worse the more you try and fight it, maybe just think if this is working.
This is a big red flag and it sounds like brining a baby into this dynamic isn’t the best choice. This will probably get worse the more you try and fight it, maybe just think if this is working.
You can't feel apathy because you know this person, but that's where it's helpful to have friend (or your favorite internet strangers) to step in and tell you that none of that stuff matters at the end of the day. Feeling bad for him doesn't mean you let him get his way. He's not good for you, and frankly, he deserves to be left behind because he has a horrible and abusive view of women.
You can't feel apathy because you know this person, but that's where it's helpful to have friend (or your favorite internet strangers) to step in and tell you that none of that stuff matters at the end of the day. Feeling bad for him doesn't mean you let him get his way. He's not good for you, and frankly, he deserves to be left behind because he has a horrible and abusive view of women.
Sounds like you need a boyfriend who doesn’t have a kid by someone else, who you could get away with together. Or just be single so nobody bugs you on your weekends for alone time, because when you’re in a serious relationship usually things are done together on weekends since people work during the week. Should just be with a guy who doesn’t have kids, then have them once you’re both ready to give all your time to them.
Why do you need to be funny, just curious?
No, do not reach out! He had issues 8 years ago, and he's a different person now. Who he has become is no reflection on you and your worth as a human being! You are waaay over thinking this, and it's time to move on!
Leave him sis
Being a drag queen is a talent, that's why RuPauls drag race exists.
You were not sexualizing the kid, you were making a comment on their talent.
Your bf, however, was sexualizing his underage coworker and that's gross, wrong and icky.
They are not the same.
Who ends of cleaning up all the mess? It should be 100% him, or you are enabling him. He is not a good dog owner, as it sounds like he hasn’t put in the time to train them, as well as time each day for exercise, etc. You need to set some boundaries that he and his dogs need to adhere to if you want to make things change. If the boundaries are crossed think long and nude what the consequences should be. The dogs need training or a behaviorist, but the bigger picture is that your husband has no respect for you, the house and things you have worked for.
Propose this weekend…don't wait 4 months…then you will know everything…if she says no then there you go but if she says yes then it's everything you ever dreamed of. Get her a ring…flowers…dinner…the works and ask her to marry you. You won't regret it.
The solid fact you’re not “enough” to her should be a big indicator to break up. You’re one and only will never tell you to be a ‘man in a serious matter. This is not the person you should marry. Marry someone who will love you for you and not just you loving them. ?
Honestly, if this man is a known scumbag, you’re making everyone a bit uncomfortable. It won’t ruin anything, but it won’t be quite as awesome as if he wasn’t there. He’s just a wet blanket you know? And then you have to ask yourself, why are you prioritising this guy over all your other guests and close family? And if you disinvite this guy and your best friend responds by not going to the wedding, she’s choosing a scumbag over her best friend. Then you have to again ask yourself: why are you prioritising your best friend over your family and other friends when she won’t prioritise you over an asshole?
Dont do this.
In laws is something that ppl divorce over.
you need to sit down and discuss the realities with your bf.
for someone who you say isnt a nuisance, she sure does behave like nuisance.
dont try to be nice to others before you are fair to yourself. this arrangement with his mother isnt fair and he has to be made aware
That’s prob why you’re single
26 yr old woman – 42 yr old man – Man is a creep and has now shown his creepy and disrespectful ways = yup this perfectly checks out. This is why he went for a person basically half his age for a relationship.
What do you actually want from a relationship? Or from life? Does it need another person? Will you be happy on your own? (Or happier?)
I’m speaking from the perspective of someone who was in this exact situation a decade ago. I hated every relationship I was in – I felt like I ‘should’ be in a relationship, but I didn’t enjoy it – I constantly felt smothered, didn’t want to be touched, I eventually got bored with the person, even if they seemed perfect. So I broke up with my partner and I LOVED being on my own. I stopped seeking relationships and instead, focused on what I wanted from life – friends, travel, and a career. Overall, It sounds like this person isn’t a good fit for you and you need some space.
My current relationship (now 8 years, and two kids in) is completely different. I dated for entirely different reasons, I changed what I was looking for, and found something that worked for me – throw convention out the window and focus on what you ACTUALLY want, not what you feel you should want.