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Model from: ca
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1996-01-07
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
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You’re welcome! It’s absolutely difficult to explain. I’m also only 5’2”, so it’s pretty confusing to other people (and me!) how I could possibly not be aware of my body and the things around me. It’s a strange thing to experience and learning there was a name for it and a correlation with ADHD and ASD blew my mind.
are you saying that being with this guy is better than being alone?
Some woman are just not interested in receiving oral, its as simple as that. Ask her what she does like and go from there
Sorry, how has he given you false hope? And how have you determined this off one persons (who knows nothing really about the situation other than what you've written for us) opinion? And I mean absolutely no shade by that at all they very well could be right about the situation but they very well could be wrong. It's mildly absurd to decide he's given you false hope as a result of this.
For what it's worth as another stranger on the internet's opinion, I think he's told you he's in a weird headspace and that his uncle has died and you should believe that and that if you wanted to explore this relationship further in the future you should reply and say that you're really sorry to hear that and of course you are more than willing to give the space he needs and to reach out in the future if he feels he wants to. But I agree with the other commenter, dont put all your eggs in one basket with it.
Don’t respond. Don’t answer the phone. Why create conversation?
This. I’d say in hindsight BOTH of you should’ve done more work to figure out how she ticks. But sexual incompatibilities do exist.
I had a wife who I could make come, but it was not reliable and I hate to say it, because I’m a pleaser, but it became a chore.
My wife did not know her own body. The thought of masturbation disgusted her… huge red flag I know. But this meant I was essentially in the dark trying to please her. She also very much loved sex and was very vocal the entire time, so it became naked to read tells as to what was working better.
Ultimately I came to realize hers were based first on emotions, second on what I did. So she not only had to be in a good head space, I also had to perform well for an extended amount of time… it became daunting
I’ve branched out since then and met women who I could pop off ten orgasms a session with and it’s phenomenal lol
How about you both agree to spend up to $X amount on a single item for yourselves then on Christmas morning you can tell each other about what you bought?
But TBH your husband sounds like an ungrateful knob that should at least pretend to be thankful for your thoughtful gifts.
I think you need to talk to her about why you feel this way. My ex used to brag about the expensive presents he would buy his exes, would constantly tell me about the jewellery etc he would buy for me… and never followed through. Not even flowers. It wasn’t the lack of expensive gifts that bothered me, my current partner isn’t into big gifts at all, it was the comparison with past relationships and the lack of any effort that got to me.
You sound incredibly insecure and childish
Well he didn't say she was scratching everyday. Take it for what it is but I never recommend anyone “accuse” their gf of masturbating. I would not appreciate it if a guy tells me I am masturbating when all the while I've had a persistent yeast infection.
Thanks for this and the reassurance!! Now I don’t feel shitty doing it over text
I definitely understand what you’re saying. I can’t imagine finding out something like this and how I would handle it.
The thing is though, this is the third post from OP about this situation, and it’s naked to believe a grown man is out there in the world who is as ignorant and self loathing as OP. He needs something to break him out of this cycle, to have him wake up and find a backbone and stand up for himself. There is absolutely nothing anyone has said that has swayed his opinion. After finding out his wife went from saying she was raped to admitting having an affair with a guy where they were looking to add another woman, he says he still loves her. It’s insane.
The only thing that could possibly push him to do the right thing is to realize that if he stays his current course, he’s setting his daughter up for a horrible life.
Then asking her to risk her life to go out with you is pretty fucked up dude.
Woah, that is so bizarre. My partner is my best friend, I tell him all my work drama and vice versa, and then we just rag on those silly goons together for hours. I'd feel incredibly lonely if we didn't have those anecdotes and that comraderie.
With that said, you need to have several healthy discussions about what exactly is causing her trepidation. Which I do mean, you both should have a few sessions of therapy together, either with you both going together or if she's not interested at least ypu going it alone with the option of her maybe joining you in the future.
And I have to ask, does she share things with you? Because if so, this is just incredibly unfair. You deserve to be heard and acknowledged because it is perfectly normal and healthy to vent to your partner. So sorry for your plight OP, you are incredibly normal here.
Haha glad to help! Best to you! 🙂
He doesn’t want to. He’s already got an ex that he’s likely giving a part of his paycheck to, he doesn’t feel like he owes it to you. Enough to pay for a date, but not enough to pay for your car repair. He doesn’t really know what to say.. “I’m sorry but I don’t have it” “this is difficult, but I can’t help” “I’m making ends meet myself” as your FWB, which of these would make you feel better? If you wanted a FWB that also helped you financially, I think that’s a different type of arrangement that can be made ..
“The reason why he doesnt get a license is because, ironically, he doesnt need to, you both made SURE of this. “
Yep
In a related note, when I was stationed at Fort Carson, CO, I didn't get my own car until the last 4 months(of about 2 1/2 years) because I felt like I didn't need to. I took the bus, used taxis, and on a extremely rare occasion(probably less than 5 times) I had a fellow soldier give me a lift to a work destination.
However, I was ultimately not completely reliant on anybody. I had my own place and job. I was also single then. OP's friend is in a different situation.
You cannot make someone change their beliefs.
No relationship works when you want the other person to change.
Switch it around. He wants you to believe your clothes are wrong, your equality is wrong and your ideas. That you are beneath him. Do you accept any of his beliefs?
When your values are so far apart then you should consider that maybe someone whose values match yours would be a better fit for you. Rather than try to mold this one into something he isn't
Why are you still talking to your ex so much? Stop that. And your friends are ridiculous. Maybe find a new group.
I don’t understand people who have that sense of “humor” that consists of putting other people down for their own laughs. Who the fuck does that? Like are you so insecure about yourself that you have to make other people feel bad to make you feel good inside? How does that make sense? I mean, I guess to them they enable eachothers behavior and no one is there to say “maybe that’s not okay”. I can’t believe you’ve put up with that for eight years, especially them being surprised when you’ve shown up to group gatherings in the past. I have really bad social anxiety and awkwardness and if my partner did that I’d instantly be leaving because that crosses the line. Just gross people I wouldn’t want in my life, and I don’t blame you for not wanting them in yours. My main goal is to be the best person that I can be to myself and others – and I know that it’ll never be perfect, but I hope that I inspire others around me to do the same. Unless you’re an asshole to me, a straight up a creep, or using me for something, I’m not one to judge.
I also want to say that as soon as one of my long term friends had a partner, it wasn’t just my me and my friend, it was myself, my friend and their partner which makes their partner my friend too. Like oh wanna hang out? Hell yeah all three of us let’s go. It’s not naked to be inclusive. And I have another good person in my life so what’s the downside? I hope you’re able to solve this and heal, whatever you choose.
Treat other how you will like to be treated. Even better, treat others how they will like to be treated.
It’s unclear from this post what you are doing to provide his emotional needs.
So, if you want emotional availability from him, you must give him what he needs or wants emotionally. So talk to him about his own emotional needs and what you are going to do to give it to him. Then ask for your needs to be fulfilled.
But he didn’t
Gold digger
Understandable. You’re right. It was a stupid move
He told you from the start that he refused to have pets. How did you, an animal lover, decide to go through with dating him, and not recognize this would be a problem? Your choices are stay with him or get a dog, you can't have both.
If you're the woman Id think offering it up would show how confident you are right?
You want him to change. He’s 45. It isn’t going to happen. He’s not going to stand up to his mom either.
Nobody has suggested “demanding” anything, kiddo. Holding an opinion on whether they choose to do so or not is not a demand. People make their choices and then get to live with what other people think of those choices. Your parents did the normal, loving thing of making any kind of effort. It is bizarre for someone who has none of the circumstances you’re inventing to not make an effort. You clearly need to find an excuse to vent about your big feelings about your own family situation at someone, and it doesn’t bother me, so you’re welcome to keep going and get it out.
I'm not sure it is possible. I'm just saying it isn't fair. The mom gets the ultimate decision on whether to have the baby or not and whether to put dad on child support or not. If dad doesn't want baby, people will say, “oh well you helped make it so pay up.” But if mom doesn't want baby she can just abort with no need to consider dad. Fair would be some way that dad could say, “no, she can't abort because I want the baby. And she helped make it so she needs to pay up.”
I’m not sure I see a big issue here, unless there’s more to this that you’re not saying. A work conversation about plans for the weekend to lead to “I bought this really cute outfit for Saturday night” to which friends would say “oh! Send me a pic, I want to see!”, and that’s completely normal.
Unemployed for 4 years from burn out from school? Man I don't understand how anyone can stay in a long term relationship with people who aren't going anywhere in life. So why do you need 2 cars? What does he do all day?
That's going to be naked to say no matter how the conversation is framed. She still needs to say it. Putting off the conversation isn't going to help anyone.
If she actually cares about him she should have given him a reason one of the many times he's brought this up. Who knows what the reason is but she's clearly doing everything she can to avoid saying it. OP isn't doing anything wrong. His partner is holding something out on them.
I wouldn’t waste any more time with her. The song was a super sweet thing to do and she said dont get any gifts which you respected. In the edits sounds like she doesn’t really care about communicating properly or your feelings
Good dad, but an asshole partner
I can’t even fathom that she wiped down herself with clorox wipes as well? Like, dude, vaginas sting if you get regular washing soap too “in there.” What the hell?
I’m guessing she must be somewhat of a germophobe. Or at the very least she’s very sensitive to smells and resorts to really strange things to mitigate that. Regardless it’s really weird behavior
??? 'being used by a guy'! No she's not, he's found someone he likes & he's asked her out. He's not using her.
But why are they so opposed to a nuclear family moving out to live in their own house?
If you have a history of being unfaithful (by your own admission) it’s not the porn that’s the problem. It’s feeling like again, you are replacing her. It’s not rational but it’s real.
Lol sorry
No I haven’t come on to him at all. Having a baby around makes it harder and I’ve been not feeling great. Thanks for the advice
Finally someone with a little sense. Had to scroll way too long for this..
So either someone she knows has it (hence knowing the PIN code) or she still has it.
So ask her about why all her social media accounts either have you blocked or are deactivated. Tell her that currently you don’t want to distrust her, but what she is telling you, vs what you are able to see and prove are not matching up.
As for contacting the mother – if she hasn’t contacted you by another means (so phone, app, or in person) by tomorrow evening, I would contact her then. And depending on what you get from her will let you decide if this relationship is over or not.
You mean commodities in the US don'tt even have a price properly printed nowadays on the packaging?
That country truly is so behind now it's crazy.
I mean, as much as it sucks to hear as a woman who has had and currently has male friends– there are WAY too many that would sleep with me, if given the chance. They don't actively seek it out. We don't talk about it. They don't make moves or act inappropriately, BUT they would get it on if they thought i was interested. That's not why, or at least that's not the only reason why we're friends, but it does influence it somewhat, i think. There are times, in the past when we've all been drunk together, that they've (disappointingly) made it known. It kinda sours the friendship for me… and most women, I'm sure. Because 95% of the time, I'm not interested. If i was, we likely would already be dating. I'm not one to beat around the bush. If i like you, you know.
It sucks that we can't just be platonic. But i have had a few friendships with men that actually were fully platonic, it's just rare. Why? Idk… perhaps because men are programmed to keep potential mates close…? But maybe because they don't act on it, and remain respectful friends we're able to overlook it with a good amount of male friends. But I've been in awkward situations enough with them that i don't hang out with men too often without my partner, and when i do, it's with someone who we both know well.
It IS hurtful, because why the fuck can't we just be friends. Like, actual friends… that you wouldn't sleep with? Would we even be friends if that wasn't in the back of your mind– the “maybe, just maaaayyybe one day, when she's not dating anyone”?
Noted that. Oof. At least one worry less to have.
Those phychos! 10 years later and they are still at “happy family”. ?
as a cheater, take it from me, she will cheat on you again
It's a deal breaker. Especially at 18. Break up with him, go enjoy your life, and find someone who won't have you questioning their commitment to you.
Some of these comments are really disingenuous. “If he really is your soulmate he would work through it, he will support you no matter what” ” He would also be willing to move for you if he is your soulmate “
Like seriously? The same people that say that also say you shouldn't pass up such an opportunity for a guy, but they think it's reasonably to expect him to uproot his life “if he loves and he is your soulmate”. Make it make sense.
All sacrifices seems to end on him if “He wants” to make this work according to the comments, but you shouldn't be expected to make any…….
Look you're likely gonna end up with some form of regret either way. If you stay you might resent him down the line if you can't find a decent job and if the relationship doesn't workout than you're gonna regret not taking the offer as well. Now if you do take the offer and your relationship ends, he might end up being the “one that got away” and you're gonna be wondering on what if's etc.
Frankly I would not pass up on such a career position if I were you, but some of the advice you been given is disingenuous and not really fair on your partner.