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If this is a dealbreaker then break up. However, I do think you’re being a bit overdramatic.
There you go. FaceTime. Say goodnight every night. Happy life.
If that’s sincerely what goes through your mind – whether you’ve said it to her or not – it’s so gross.
You did the right thing don’t beat yourself over it though I don’t understand her logic of not being sexually attracted to you but also wanting to stay in a relationship . She doesn’t need to be in a relationship right now until she works out her issues but again don’t be too hard on yourself for this don’t let it get you down enjoy your holidays ( if you celebrate ) you’ll find the right one
Yep. I agree. And I was an unmedicated drunken mess that could barely tolerate my own existence. Now I'm over 500 days sober and I'm ready to be the partner she deserves.
You already wasted 3 years on this guy. Don’t waste any more.
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and she’s 34? boy if you don’t leave…
If she's messaging you for suggestions, say you don't have any. If she's messaging you what she's already sent him, say “keep me posted”.
I'd probably tell her you're sorry she's having a hard time, but what she wants is not more important than what he wants.
She’s not into anal. Vaginal sex is great but it’s not the same energy as head or handjobs. It’s nice to be the focus sexually every now and then. Whenever we have sex I control the positions and do all the work and sometimes I just would like to be taken care of and prioritized. I eat her out/finger her all the time I would just like that energy reciprocated.
Your relationship isn’t healthy. It’s hard for you to see it rn, but it’s a good thing he ended things for good. He doesn’t respect your boundaries and you fight way too much. Your communication styles differ a lot, and he’s not putting effort into making you feel loved when you’re apart.
Who cares if he misses being single, talking to his ex, whatever. You’re broken up. Get your stuff back from him, stop talking to him, and stop talking to his ex. It’s time to start healing and moving on
One month is too soon. Give it more time, 3 mo minimum, if at all.
OP today:
as an atheist with no intention to convert to any beliefs
OP six months from now:
(riding bicycle door-to-door handing out Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints literature)
Don't do it. You are not ready
Omfg! You two are so codependently dysfunctional like two white trash people in tv show cops getting into a drunk argument saying nasty things and then flipping a switch into passionate love on tv while one is getting dragged off in handcuffs!
Serious you two are so warped together…
This is unhealthy to the max!
There’s a journalist who I enjoyed who’d “ware females down” and they’d have sex with him because he bugged so much. And he’s getting canceled for it. I get it but I also don’t get why females aren’t being held accountable for their own actions either. My thing is nobody can ware me down to the point of where I make a stupid choice like that.
Don’t mean to exaggerate your situation, even though you’re 110% in the wrong. And you should tell your boyfriend because you definitely cheated. I’m just confused because I liked this guys videos and now he’s canceled and I’m not sure how to feel about it ?
Now you know. Might be time to find a new boyfriend who doesn't feel the need to interact on hard photos of other women. That's disrespectful toward your relationship, and actually IS important.
As long as it’s considered the diplomatic thing to do I don’t have a problem with it, I’ve just seen a lot of people say that it’s not a respectful thing to engage in (ghosting, that is).
Look, this is what my dad started doing before he tried to kill my mother. I am not saying that is what will happen here but it really disturbed me reading this. You have said he has made you feel unsafe before. You cannot make people like this be reasonable. Leave and protect yourself and your kids. It isn't worth the risk. Even if you take the kindest view of this he was still trying to intimidate you.
But having no degree behind me when leaving the state I feel very vulnerable to leave.
This seems to be the crux of the dilemma you're in. So, before you decide one way or the other, check out the educational opportunities in the place(s) you're considering. If they're as good as or better than what you have locally, you could consider moving if you wanted to. But if staying put is the best option for your education, then stick with that. If he really loves you and wants to keep the relationship going, he'll find a way to make it work.
Listen, I like to see the good in people, but there isn’t any here. She basically text her to inform her she is being left you. Take that garbage out, the woman wants drama, don’t be a part of it.
Listen, I like to see the good in people, but there isn’t any here. She basically text her to inform her she is being left you. Take that garbage out, the woman wants drama, don’t be a part of it.
No! I really do need advice. If you want to learn more, please look for Color Swap, available in both the AppStore and Google PlayStore today!
“I decided that my ex and daughter would be happier if I wasn't there”
That is what you said.
Why would your daughter be happier? She shouldn't be witness to your fighting with your ex. She is your daughter. She's too young to understand anything.
And where tf you get this idea from? Her partner NEVER did have someone to find information if she cheated….you blowing out of proportion
Yes, I would (though idk how effective polygraphs are given that they are generally inadmissible as evidence in court).
I think paternity tests should be done for all children in order to establish paternity before a father's name is placed on a birth certificate.
I’m curious as to what things he will let you have a difference of opinions on…
I don’t know what country they online in, but some countries have help at home available like cleaners, someone who comes cooking, and other things depending on the need of the person. One of mine has all those. I’m part of a disabled couple and we don’t have these yet. But we might apply too.
I have a feeling that OPs wife has the same illness as me, that illness is something you never want to pass on. I am the 3 red gen in my family because we didn’t know about it.
Things often don’t go as you wished in life. OP could leave, try to have kids with someone else and turns out he or they are infertile.
I have spoken to him about it, he says it’s just jokes, does it with everyone, doesn’t see why he has to change that.
So, he's homophobic, mysogynistic, full of double-standards, illogical, and deeply insecure. Oh, and adding in a little light DARVO there by telling you you're just playing victim. Sounds like a real catch. Why are you with this child?
Having a lack of empathy doesn't equate to having a lack of feelings,
Ok but psychopathy does correlate to lack of feelings, or rather they have surface level feelings but lack the ability to feel deeply and properly. I get you are trying to be understanding of a mental health problem, but this is one diagnosis that you can't wrap your head around. They're unpredictable and dangerous even for psychological professionals.
Thank you!!
The noises are annoying and when I mentioned just the noise level they stated she didn’t start doing that until my guy moved in. He gets flirted with on a daily basis and I typically shrug it off unless it gets too crazy.
Never again am I going back
Don't give her any advice at all.
Let her continue to make mistakes. Be there to pick up the pieces. If you give her any advice at all, tell her to talk to a counselor about this, who will do a much better job than you ever could.
Lol Im sure that’s why… ?♀️?♀️
sigh… why do you keep taking his crap? put your foot down! don’t let him use your phone anymore!!
Although it's a rare occasion, me and my wife correct each other publicly. If one of us starts talking crap, the other could easily say “like literally no one cares”. Or “They don't want to hear about that.”.
It sounds bad but it's way better than animosity building over time and needing to have multiple difficult talks.
Why on earth would you want to “move past it”? He is giving you many reasons why it is unsafe to be with him and you are asking reddit how you can ignore all of them and continue to be with him?
It’s like you’ve forgotten that “breaking up with him and finding someone who is not abusive” is an option. When someone treats you badly, you don’t repair your relationship with them. You leave them and find someone who treats you well.
Also, just in general, when someone repeatedly says “I’m going to change xyz”, no matter what xyz is, and then takes no action to do so, what they say is meaningless. They are not going to change. This isn’t a “not seeing eye to eye” issue. Your bf is abusive. He has no intention and has taken no action to change this. You do not feel he is your safe person because he is not in fact safe. This is not a fixable issue.
Leave and block him
I dont think you're overreacting. This is obviously “no-no” behavior for most monogamous relationships.
Is it worth fixing? Well, thats up to you two to decide. Is the relationship otherwise healthy? Did she do this bc its a toxic aspect of her personality? Is it possible that its a symptom of the relationship being unfulfilling for her? Not blaming you. Her actions are her own. However, if she felt the need to get attention elsewhere bc the relationship has lost its intimacy, she doesnt feel wanted by you, etc (which is pretty common to happen after a child is born, idk how old your kid is or if this topic has come up for you two at all), then things could potentially be fixed by honest communication, both of you putting in effort towards meeting the other's needs, etc.
I definitely dont think you should make a decision while upset. Take some time to process the situation/your feelings. Consider how the relationship was before this and whether you're willing to try to salvage it. For couples who experience infidelity, get counseling, and really put the work in, they can end up with an amazing relationship, sometimes even stronger than those who never experience infidelity bc they're learned how to truly communicate and hear one another.
I think once you reach your 30s age gaps matter less and less as you get older. You and someone in their 50s would be more or less in equal footing in life most of the time
I think therapy will probably be the right answer. I really never put any pressure on her about it so I doubt she’s nervous, and I think 6 months of sleeping in the same bed every night would really allow you to be comfortable with the other person. Not to mention we do everything together, this is the closest i’ve ever been with another person.
Also, again, she had a normal sex life before our relationship, and she wanted to have sex with me in the beginning of ours. that’s what throws me so hard.