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You do need therapy because this is a very unhealthy fixation and you could either get yourself into a dangerous situation or become complicit in something really bad because you’re blinded by this inexplicable attraction. It sounds like a twisted fantasy / sick fixation and the fact that you’re aware of what these men have done yet you’re still attracted to them is very concerning as the normal human reaction of anyone with empathy would be to be repulsed by them especially with the knowledge of what they have done to other human beings. To be able to either a) overlook what they’ve done and be so attracted to them that you are able to compartmentalise that or b) the fact that you happen to be attracted to men who have committed such vile, evil acts against humanity somehow adds to the attraction – either way something is very unnatural and you lack the common repulsed reaction most people have at the idea of these men. To be attracted to them when the normal reaction is to be repulsed, says that you really should have therapy, be psychoanalysed or see a psychiatrist. It is an unusual fetish / fixation and would make a lot of people angry / sickened because it comes across as a total disregard for what these men have done and how many lives they have destroyed and that a physical / sexual attraction overrides that. It’s unthinkable and may even come across as provocative given how controversial your sexual tastes are.
Toxic relationships leave marks and scars, healing from them takes time.
You're both better being apart
I would get her some nice teas and a fun tea mug. It’s thoughtful without being too expensive or too intimate. .
Then you missed the comments. OP said he's been out of work since early in the relationship.
If you invite someone for Xmas you buy them a present. Also judging your son's “bad decisions” is a dick move. He wad unhappy, he moved on. That's life. Don't be an asshole.
There was a guy who told me that a girl took him to his room to have sex and it was hot for him to get an erection because he was scared/anxious but he did get one. After they were having sex it started going away, it got smaller. I didn’t know that men could have a hard time getting erections especially at the age of 23. He said he had to kinda “force” himself to get into it by telling himself that it’s what he wanted etc. and eventually he did. Is this possible?
Depends on the contract, what he needs to do is separate from her, and get his name off the lease. If she destroys the apartment he is liable. Is breaking up with your roommate a good enough reason, no, but he needs to either sublet and let his ex know she's going to have to pay half of the rent. We don't know if there month to month or what the contract entails. So yes he should break his lease.
I have a fresh new idea for you.
You are 21 years old and now free of her bullshit.
May I suggest that you create a young woman's version of a Quinceanera birthday party?!!! Invite your friends, invite your family.
Buy yourself a GORGEOUS dress but do not shop with your mother. Tell her nothing.
Frankly, I would not even invite her or make an accidental typo on her invitation so she thinks it is one week later than it actually is.
Create a group chat with family but don't admit her into it.
Be honest with family and say that you missed your original Quinceanera and want to have that introduction to womanhood that you were told you didn't deserve as a child.
Fuck this woman. The nerve of asking you to do a favor like this was rubbing salt into a wound.
I am from Canada and am caucasian and even I know how big a deal a Quinceanera is.
I am sorry that you have such a toxic bio mother.
Where was your dad in all this??
It was obviously a joke. If she’s genuinely reacting this way over a normal joke, then you’re dodging a bullet. Honestly though, if she’s leaving you over this, it’s probably not over this. This was an excuse to leave.
I think he probably loves you… but I'd say he also loves his friend M, and quite likely hasn't completely processed/worked through his unrequited/past feelings of her.
The brain tends to put things you process similarly together. Think about when you may have accidentally said a wrong name. Usually you wouldn't mix a colleagues name with your family… Mixing an ex with a current partner is normal/more likely even if the names are different because it's using the same pathways.
I know everyone is saying abortion, but please also consider putting the child up for adoption.
I was born out of wedlock from a married man dating an unmarried woman, who didn’t find out he was married until after she realized she was pregnant. That culture didn’t tolerate children born out of wedlock, so she couldn’t afford to keep me socially or financially. She put me up for adoption, after seeing if her married brother could adopt me.
Please don’t discount adoption.
Mmh not really she’s always the same more or less
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
If I’ve understood correctly the reason you found out is because she was recently in contact with someone she cheated on you with (yes ‘only’ making out, but guess what? Making out is cheating), and has now admitted to also sleeping with someone else as well.
The fact she betrayed you for the first two years of your relationship is bad enough, but what possible reason is there for her to be in recent contact with one of these guys? Were they discussing the recent geopolitical problems in Eastern Europe? This to me is as big a red flag as her admission of cheating.
Are you sure he’s the only one of her ex hookups she’s been in contact with recently? And are you sure that Snapchatting is the only form of communication? Have they met? It could very well all be innocent, but that’s the problem when your SO cheats. You’re never going to know, are you?
I don’t know if your relationship can recover. Frankly I’d find it very difficult to get over this amount of disrespect. All I can tell you is that if I were in your shoes, she’d have to be doing a fuck-ton of work to prove to me she was now loyal before I could forgive her. Good luck.
It’s not really withholding, you wouldn’t be obligated to share with your friends every messed up thing that you ever did. Albeit at my worst I never violated someone but I wouldn’t want my friends except the ones I’m very close to to know what I was like at my lowest points in life.
Well, I (44F) think it’s unrealistic and not healthy. But that’s me. I can’t even imagine having these kind of expectations.
I came here expecting a bunch of comment about her being immature and toxic.
I’m pretty amazed to see it’s not the case.
I’ve been in her situation. Being pregnant is rough, even harder when you are right. Fights and break up are hot too. She’s probably very conflicted and confused, trying to do what’s best for her, for her baby and for you.
You are probably also on edge. Take some time to breathe. Don’t overthink everything that has been said during the fight. Let both of you feel emotions and think about what you guys want d need.
Good luck.
His talking to other women is the least of your problems. He is day drinking and taking shrooms with his som there. Doing coke a lot. Girl, let those other women have him and move on.
That, too. Although my partner and I just tested that ‘see recently deleted’ thing and did discover you can delete messages without a trace by going to recently deleted, selecting messages, and then hitting the button to permanently delete them. Then they’re no longer even in recently deleted; they’re gone without a trace. So if he’s super skeevy, he can still be doing that. :-/
Maybe that’s just not his idea of a good time or just spending NYE. Ask him what he’d prefer to do and maybe you can meet in the middle. You don’t want to force him to go because he’ll be miserable and make it unenjoyable for everyone.
You asked, he said no, move on. Find something that you’d both like to do.
This is surprisingly mature and reasonable for being a comment on reddit about other people's relationship.
This is a great comment. You need time to grieve and work through what happened. In the grand scheme of things, just focus on yourself. Get a new hobby. You might actually find something else you Like doing
Not love mate. Lust. Its only been 4 months. Time to call it day
Run
If I had a husband like him, I'd probably go from normal wife to “a crazy person” after years of him not keeping people who will hurt them away from my kids.
Dude , walk right up to her stupid ass and say I have money now will you date me sarcasticly Fuck that girl dude.
Mate your 31. You need to lay all this out to her. If your ‘not sure’ this is a long term relationship THEN STOP WASTING HER TIME
You are hurt because what he did was extremely hurtful. Humiliating your partner is never an acceptable response, even if you think they are laughing at you. He needs to seek anger management counseling because the way that interaction should have gone was:
Him: “hey, are you laughing at my fall? That sucks.” You: “What, no? I was going to ask why the bag is ripped. You fell? Are you ok?” Him: “oh okay. Yeah, I tripped coming up the stairs and banged my knee. The bag ripped too. I'm ok, but could you go grab a new bag?” You: “yikes, I'm sorry, that's a bummer. I'll go grab the bag now.”
DONE.
Is it Alexa Bliss?
The worst part is that for the new smokers, it might even be true, just not for long.
My male best friend had a similiar situation, everything was cool until one day he saw them hot in bed. So…
Keeping his wife’s memory alive is not pushing grief on to his daughter. There’s not being wrong with having picture around the house. You don’t have to have a certain place. So what if he talked to a picture people do that all the time. Gf breaking pictures and yelling at a child because she is asking about her own family is ridiculous. Sounds like she just wants the memory erased complete
This guy doesn't care about either of you.
Well you're now single. Lesson to take from this. Do not keep videos of exs.
I disagree, it’s a fwb who I am going to assume based on OP’s last sentence is also in the same circle as OP and her best friend. This isn’t OP’s boyfriend for “lines to be crossed”.
If OP sleeps around with the other guys, do you think she expect them to be exclusively hers. Cause this is how she’s are acting cause he slept with her friend.
Let him have sex alone. He only cares about his wants anyway.
Yes – and ever more so because you have been together since you were kids and now things are rocky. You are going to change so much even between now and 25. ?
Break things off with the fwb, not because he did anything wrong (his hands are clean as far as I can see), but because it's a silly situation that gives you the stress that comes with relationships with none of the security nor warmth that accompanies them.
Regarding the friend…..I'd keep an eye on her. She sounds shady fr. She technically didn't commit any crimes either, but what she did was worrisome, for it could be indicative of things to come. She's already crossed this line, what's to stop her from, hypothetically speaking, convincing you to stop seeing some guy you like, only to turn around and make him her boyfriend the following week? She may even have the potential to make a pass at any future partner of yours.
She hasn't betrayed you, but based on her actions, it doesn't seem like she's above doing so.
I’m wondering if you guys think is a salvageable relationship?
Bruh…
Do you have the blood test? Look up NIPP, non invasive prenatal pregnancy testing. Expensive, but safe. Just throwing yourself financially & emotionally into this situation is going to cost you so much more
Seen this video.
I am sure she sneaked around to help him straighten his sock drawer out.
Sorry for being so emotional but you kinda struck my trauma nail right on it's head. I am constantly feeling the responsibility to fix her mistakes
As the parent of a kid questioning their gender, I take complete offense that your BF would be so callous and cold to you by first not letting you know until it was “time to do the deed,” but also that they still pressured you to have sex after that came out. This person is not mature enough to have a relationship with and is not worth your time. You deserve better. You can’t drop a bomb the size of Hiroshima on someone and not expect some fallout. You need to run. I’m so sorry kiddo.
“ He said he was afraid that he was not going to be able to keep a relationship without big boobs.”
“ I asked him if he would stay with me if I would decide not to get a boob job and he said “I don´t know” and “Maybe””
“ before I wanted to do it for myself and now I want to do it to keep my relationship”
Re: buying a house together – “ He says he doesn´t feel mentally ready for such a big decision” but he wants you to get a major surgery to meet his “embarrassing” fetish that he knows he needs to work on being free of.
Hon, you don’t know what pressure looks like, if you think this isn’t it.
Do not get a major surgery to keep this relationship. I’ve seen this story a hundred times, here and in real life. Exactly this, where the woman “always wanted bigger boobs, this isn’t about him,” but he conveniently wants bigger boobs. They stay together, she gets the surgery, and their issues always manage to migrate from “if only I had boobs, he would commit” to “if only I had this other thing, he would commit/stop cheating/treat me better” whatever it is.
These stories are always the same. If you alter your appearance for him, this will not end well. And you run the risk of permanent health issues with implants. It’s not everyone, but not having implants is a lower heath risk than having them.
Only way forward.
I adore Eminem and when (55 yo female) I shaved all my long hair off in a fit of “New Me-ism” , I looked exactly like my hero but with round boobs and butt.
Will the New Slim Shady please stand up….
I would be furious if my partner spoke to MY manager behind my back.
ESPECIALLY if you knew she was going through a rough patch at work where something like this could make it worse for her.
You don't know the intimate details of her work dynamics, you only know what you have been told. She could have had an important deadline or project coming up, she could be wanting to prove her work ethic for a promotion, or stressing because she couldn't afford to loose a few hours pay etc.
He hurt himself by doing things that hurt and drove you away. Btw, you are people, and keep yourself in mind when you get into the ways of people pleasing.
Why are you dating someone you clearly don’t trust?
Fair enough, but you will for now. Also, her ex will still be her roommate. Whole situation is suspect.
Dude, if this has you crying help, you’re going to be a hot mess when she leaves you for being overbearing. Someone she’s never met likes her TWEETS? Come on. Why are you even monitoring her account like this to know? Stop. Focus on your own shit and lighten up.
Only a doctor can determine if it is medically necessary. The only information provided is that OP has decided based on a google search that she thinks it's medically necessary. She's not a doctor, and even if she was it wouldn't be ethical to be her boyfriend's doctor. He should seek medical care when he is ready to do so. In the meantime, if him not seeking medical care is a dealbreaker for her, that's fine.
Maybe you should ask him why did he like the post if he dislikes his ex
Do you think so? I thought he was just a supreme AH LOL. Or serial cheater.
No kidding. Pretty dam bluntly too
Divorce even if childless can be messy and annoying to get out of depending on the country
It’s sad it might’ve come to this
I doubt she's 27. This sounds like the problems of 16 year olds. “He hid me from his stories, the betrayal!!” What the actual school yard fuck is going on…
Can you fake being ok in front of mom? I think if I told my mom “we broke up. I wanted to tell you but I’m not in a place to speak about it. It’s all for the best and I’m so happy I can focus my time on you instead of my petty I know they’re not petty just a script issues. Wanna play mahjong?” She’d either laugh it off or want to get away from her own problems by delving into mine. Either way I’d grab the mahjong tiles and lose to her like I always do.