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Are you saying as a man you would/should ask for permission from your SO to scratch yourself or do you mean you have permission to use the toilet paper, cause otherwise she might assume you are fingering / climaxing not actually toileting?
I mean ok some men find it incredibly challenging to find the clitoris, but I really didn't think you would look for it in one's tigh ?
Firstly, nobody is in the wrong here. She is asexual and when you found out that, you should’ve just broke up right then and there (hopefully you know what asexual means, and that is going against your views of a relationship=not compatible on that part). I do get what you want, being intimate in that aspect is big part of a relationship for most of the people. Now, i do get that you love her, but after 6 months of waiting, if it still didn’t happen, maybe it is deeper issue and should go to therapy? She should try to fix it herself if it is a problem, if she doesn’t see it as problem than you are simply not compatible. Her views probably won’t change and you even stayed for 3 years which is probably way more than most people would do. Only question i have is why on earth would she go on a birth control if she isn’t sexually active nor she doesn’t want to? That sounds fishy to me personally but hey, i am not a doctor. How i see it, you two are just a roommates. You have been with her for 2,5+ years after her change and she did nothing in that time to try and fix it (meaning she is fine with how things are) and she most likely won’t change. Best thing is to break up and go separate ways
I (26f) discovered that my boyfriend (29m) of 3 years was cheating on me for a year and a half. He told me that he felt awful and wanted to fix our relationship.
I can tell you that he only feels bad because he got caught. No cheater says with sincerity, “Sorry I cheated on you for literally half of our relationship. Let's try and fix this”
My boyfriend claimed he called her and ended their relationship. He refused to let me listen to the call and, afterward, advised that he told her that he started seeing someone else.
So he got caught, didn't let you listen to the call of him “breaking up”, and then supposedly lied to the other woman. That's just not a good start to fixing the relationship… The bare minimum he could have done is let you listen to the conversation, because what should he have to hide if he's ready to commit to you finally?? I also get bad vibes that he lied to the other woman. He couldn't even own up to his mistake and be honest.
3 years, half of which were filled with cheating and lies, is not worth trying to salvage. You may not feel like it but you can do so much better than him. You do not deserve this kind of behavior from your partner
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. If she doesn’t respect your boundaries or tries to guilt trip you I would leave. Have a serious conversation about these things and how they make you feel. It’s no different than if you wanted to try to do something that she wasn’t trying to do and instead of accepting that tried to change your mind.
That’s gross. So you would only be financially liable if you could also force her to be a living incubator?
My partner likened me masturbating because I have a high libido and his is almost non-existent to cheating the other day. I can’t stand the fact that I have to jump through hoops just to get some physical attention from him so I decided instead of everything devolving into an argument all the time I can take care of business and he can sleep. Well, I’m the worst apparently because I can’t just magically orgasm when he says a minute in to the weekly session that he’s about to cum. Apparently I’m supposed to just be turned on and explode ??? like, I’m 40 why do I put up with this shit.
lol, imaging not knowing what love is. Stfu ?
OP is not gay, but it is definitely very hot to believe that he went from the idea of engaging sexually with a penis “turning his stomach” to “best sex I've ever had” within a few hours (since he tried to post this right after his initial post).
I'd make a wager on it!
“Because it's so unusual for a guy to string someone along for the sex of it”… /s
Or drunk because of a dead driver?
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I know you said you were reluctant to go to therapy, but intimacy issues in a couple are probably above the average redditor pay-grade. And honestly it sounds like you need couples therapy, there’s a lot of things not being communicated and building resentment between you. If you can’t bridge that communication gap on your own and make progress then you need help doing it.
I am sorry for your pain, but it is a great lesson to learn that words have meanings. You can't take back words you say, just like you can't unring a bell.
Maybe with time he will change his mind. Don't hold your breath and go to therapy. You are very young.
Our best lessons are the hardest lessons.
What are you talking about? Sharing someone’s nudes is an incredibly shitty thing to do. I certainly would never do it?
I just feel like in real healthy relationships you actually care about how you made your partner feel even if it was unintentional. He said he wanted one thing. That does not mean one thing and one thing only. He is incredibly rigid if that’s his real attitude as so many are portraying in these comments. She was going to make the sandwich after surprising him with sex. He was going to get the one thing he wanted and in his wife’s mind probably a nice surprise too. So when she was rejected while half very hot, he then focused on how the sandwich isn’t there. I get being hungry. I get being tired after a long day. She probably is too and was just trying to do something spontaneous and fun. It’s fine for him to reject her but at the very least it sounds like he didn’t do it with much compassion for her feelings and he didn’t seem to care when it clearly upset her. Maybe she overreacted and made it too much about her own bruised ego. but it’s naked for me to sympathize with him when I imagine myself in this scenario and would only want to comfort and reassure my partner.
Be more assertive! I have had similar issues in the past. I care too much about pleasing the other person and it is draining me. As a result i found myself being more introverted and wanting of more alone time. You have to realize that putting YOUR needs first is what is best for BOTH of you. Because if you end up breaking up then nobody is happy right? Be firm! Tell you need alone time and it is NOT NEGOTIABLE, and her complaining about it is not allowed either. I don't like to threaten to breakup but at some point that's better than just breaking up right? For 8 years it seems like the focus has been solely on her and it is time for the relationship to be more equilibrate and for her to care about your needs as well.
Tell her, “I love you and i care about you but I don't feel like you care about me and respect my needs. This makes think about reconsidering our relationship as I don't see it working for me in the long term. I need more alone time for this relationship to work and this is not negotiable, i also don't want you to complain about it.”
I wonder , is your terrible take on this due to lack of literacy or intelligence?
You're valid in being upset just like she's valid in moving on however she chooses to, however fast she chooses to. It sucks and breakups are usually messy, but no one is obligated to wallow in sadness for just because they were broken up with.
there has been a few occasions where she has turned me down either cus of a bad day, but she usually never turns the moment down, but she has recently mentioned how sometimes she doesn’t like turning me down because she doesn’t want me to be in a bad mood.
She said she still lives with her family and they can hear.
I’m not. And I know this because I’d be completely okay with letting him go/never dating him/him dating other people if that’s what was for the best.
It took me over two months to feel this way, so I know I’ll be okay. But thanks for your opinion! I really appreciate it.
Kids just aren’t something you can compromise on. Unless you both are 100% on board, you shouldn’t have children together.
I know multiple people—men and women—who didn’t want kids and got talked into having them. They’re all good parents and they love their kids but they do not much enjoy being parents and resented the hell out of their spouse. Every one of them are divorced for one reason or another but being coerced or ultimatum’d into parenthood was definitely part of it.
As for your BF…I think that some men like the idea of having kids but haven’t put much thought into it. They love the idea of coaching T-ball and going fishing or whatever. They’re not thinking about things we women have to consider like: pregnancy and childbirth and the changes to our bodies, loss of lifetime earning potential, being the one who is often the default parent organizing doctor, dentist, etc, being the one who does the lion’s share of the childcare, and so on. Those guys don’t see their life changing much because they don’t intend to do anything but the fun stuff.
Kids can be terrific but they’re not for everyone. And while you might change your mind down the road, you may not. So if you’re feeling like it’s a no now, it’s best to break up and date someone else who is childfree. There’s not a lot of time to snatch up guys your age who haven’t already had a kid by choice or not. Being a step parent can be rewarding too but it comes with it’s own set of challenges.
Personally, when I (44F) was your age, I just assumed I’d have kids some day but I sure didn’t want them right then. As time went on and I really put thought into it, I realized that I didn’t want kids at all. I like kids fine enough. I’m good with kids. But I pretty much raised my brothers and I knew how much work it is to do things right.
I couldn’t have the career I have or the hobbies I have or travel and move the way I have if I had children.
My partner has a son and he’s a great kid. But I’m in more of a “fun aunt” role and his dad does the parenting. He, by the way, is one of the people I know who was told “we are having a baby or I’m filing for divorce”. He’s a great dad but he didn’t want to be one.
Many of my friends are child free as well. Most of them actually work with kids in some capacity as teachers, therapists, coaches, etc. it’s not always about hating kids, sometimes it’s just about knowing yourself and wanting to spend your energy in other ways.
Yeah so he’s definitely going to show you love in a completely different way. You have to decide if you’re willing to deal with it
This will get downvoted to hell, but it's absolutely worth your time to find someone who prioritises pleasure and sexuality and who makes an effort to get you off.
There's some weird US idea that being a nice guy is enough and that it's somehow petty to care about whether you cum. It's not. If you like this guy a lot, it's worth talking to him and getting more in sync if possible. But settling for boring sex sounds miserable.
Sounds like your sister is experiencing a lot of internal turmoil, and takes it out on the safest victim – her mother. As the oldest sibling, although you may not realize it, you probably are more influential than you think. Tell your sister that she is hurtful to your mom, and you think she should be kinder. It may not go over very well, but on the other hand, it may.
Talk to a lawyer.
Get tested for STDs.
Take pictures of her meds.
Get the kids DNA tested.
Start separating your finances.
Just tell him “yay now I have to only do half the cooking and only half the cleaning!”. And do so. Stop cleaning after him and cooking all his meals. If he wants 50/50 then stick to strict 50/50 in everything.
Neither is his “crush” on you anymore.
Let’s assume you are right. Even if he does like her how can you say he likes her more than me when I never gave him a chance lol. Who knows how he would have felt if I gave him a chance . But he would be acting at least the same way he’s acting with Mariah with me if I gave him a chance
She’s been a to the doctors and stuff about it but they couldn’t find anything.
That points to Endometriosis. It cannot be diagnosed without surgery. It cannot be diagnosed through ultrasound or MRI or ANYTHING.
Symptoms also support exactly what is wrong with her.
Seek out an ENDOMETRIOSIS specialist. Or even a PCOS specialist. Otherwise, it's still your fault for being an overly horny prepubescent.
You DON’T know your cousin isn’t a Nazi. Because how the fuck do you online with one, sleep with one, have a baby with one, and not agree with what they believe? You don’t, you believe the same thing. And you know what that makes you?
A fuckin nazi, too.
You're just being a weird jerk. Speculation is what Reddit is all about!
Your marriage (a vow of exclusive commitment) is literally founded on a lie, and you refuse to be honest with your husband. Frankly, I hope you do not lose feelings for the coworker because it will make it harder for you to keep up this charade and your unlucky spouse may have a chance at a marriage with the RIGHT woman.
I wouldn’t marry a dude who asks my parents for permission/blessing. I’m neither a milking cow nor a race horse. You want to build a life with me? Ask me.
I wouldn’t marry a dude who asks my parents for permission/blessing. I’m neither a milking cow nor a race horse. You want to build a life with me? Ask me.
Explain why
I did! Matthew mcconaughey came on tv lol. No:( he’s never made me feel objectified, but now I’m questioning how he views me based on these girls he follows. He has a good relationship with his mom from what I’ve seen, and gets along with other women in social situations. Treats me with respect and always says how much he values and respects me. I just am so anxious now that I’ve seen these accounts! He brought it up I don’t even remember the context.
I just don’t know how I would bring up how I’m bothered about it. I think I’m more bothered that he FOLLOWS all of these accounts. It makes him look like such a tool. It screams “I LOVE huge fake asses!” When he is publicly in a relationship with me. Embarrassing on my end and his.