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  1. I think you need to be really blunt with her at this point. Initially it was kind to give her some grace as it’s probably a weird hormonal thing as she’s reaching the end of her fertility and there’s a new baby about.

    But honestly it’s an ABSOLUTE NO for you to have one to ‘appease her’. First step, decide for definite if you want one. Really think about it. Get a therapist if you think it’ll help. Make a decision. Make it for YOU not for the sake of your relationship or for her. Do YOU want another child?

    If you decide you want one, problem solved.

    If you decide you don’t. Then you need to sit her down and say unequivocally that you will not be having another child. Tell her you love her and want to spend the rest of your life together, but you do not want another child.

    Tell her she need to really think about this. She needs to decide if she is going to have another baby. She needs to make her own decision and be firm. She needs to make this decision knowing that the father WONT be you. That’s the reality. She can’t decide she wants one but only with you. Because you have told her you will not be a father again. So knowing that, does she want a baby?

    If she decides she does, you break up. She find someone to have a child with, or uses fertility services and raises it herself. Or something.

    If she decides she doesn’t, it needs to be HER decision. She cannot hold it against you and fester resentment for the rest of your relationship. It would be unfair to both of you.

    Remind her that you love her, that you want to be with her. Remind her that it’s okay to be realising that she is reaching the end of her fertility and that she is okay to be grieving what could have been. That’s normal and it’s okay. Tell her therapy could be really useful in helping her sort out her feelings. To help her make sure she is making the right decision for the right reasons. Remind her you are there to listen and support her too, if she wants. You won’t judge her. You’ll just listen. You want her to be happy. You love her.


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