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  1. She might not be as extreme with the affection, but she’s not struggling to cling to you like a drowning person desperate for a life preserver.

    You’re in the middle of a transition, so you’re learning to see the signs of love when she’s not suffering.

    Trust the process. Give it time. Plus you recognize the need to rebuild your relationship language – show her your value during this new phase of the relationship, not just the unmedicated phase but ALL phases.

    I take the meds, and adhd meds, and the change from a world with anxiety and despair to the balanced one is disorienting – BUT it’s just temporary.

    It’s also you adjusting to the new lifestyle: you have learned that YOU feel better when you’re treated like you are the emotional support source, and now you’re looking for a way to feel needed, loved. The constant feedback from her is gone because she is not always in crisis – but you don’t want to take away her confidence just for your selfish sense of gratification!!! You KNOW you’re a good person because you helped her, so how do you get the feedback that you are a good person if she is not in crisis??

    Be honest with her about your worries, tell her you want her to know you miss her.

    BUT remember you are both regaining your balance. It’s not been that long, and I promise you depression and anxiety are a human condition thing: all the drugs in the world won’t solve your problems, we always need work.

    Trust your wife needs you, and you need to learn how you matter still – not if, just how.


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