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I can only image if his ex has an SO, how’d they feel about that?
Having a kid with an ex is a tricky thing and complicates the heck out of everything.
I have friends in the situation, so when we go on vacations or out on the holidays, one couple = two.
The ex joins with his new Wife and her Kids.
It took a while before they felt comfortable talking about the uncomfortable things that popped up.
The got past it by both sides having the ex’s there.
Then get me another one. At least he doesn’t insult me and decide that I deserve to be criticized and judged without empathy. Try telling your own therapist how you’ve been talking to me live! and I can guarantee they will tell you that YOUR behavior is more inappropriate and disrespectful.
Oh yeah, it doesn't seem like you're compatible. If you have these many issues after one year, i don't think it's gonna be too good after two.
Understood:) I've told her it doesn't bother me and genuinely doesn't. I'm a guy who has trust issues and someone who tends to overthink. So i just got a little worried if it was normal for her to do that like just 18 days before going out with me and why did she wait 5 months to tell me that something like that had happened
Thanks
That’s one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read! I would have assumed once he was clean from the coke he would come to his senses, but it sounds like his emotional maturity is that of a 14 yr old.
I have no advice. Just support that this is nonsense.
As a black man myself I can understand him being afraid. But the respectful thing to do would be to meet in a public place. He should have some respect for his friends relationship. If he hasn’t done anything with the wife then he really shouldn’t be nervous to meet him. I think the only reason he’s nervous is because the wife probably cheated with him.
Tkae the damn paternity test and be finished with it. But dies he want a child? Or are you trying to trap him with a child and he sees it? This is by far not something New. There are alot of trap babies out there that has been used to destroy men. The zinger is that it comes back to bite you when the child finds out. And/or the father kills him self.
“I just keep thinking, `Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me.'”
This is a very interesting thing to say. The standard expression of course has “fool” in place of “hurt,” so the moral is that after someone deceives you, you should always remember that and not be deceived by them again. While a bit oversimplified, it makes good sense. But with “hurt”? You're saying that if someone in your life hurts you once, you should always remember it and not be hurt by them again. I don't think that's how human relationships work: those close to you are likely going to hurt you repeatedly. In a good relationship these hurts are vastly outweighed by the help and pleasure you get, and moreover the other person's overall intent is sufficiently benign.
You seem to be saying that your best friend hurt you twice in the same 15 years or so, and now you have been avoiding her. Looking at it rationally, this seems like an overreaction. You should not be connecting this recent event to what happened in high school.
Let me now look at things more emotionally: you planned a birthday party for your child, and everyone backed out. Everyone! And your best friend did it last of all, after she knew the situation and had reconfirmed your plans. And the reason that she backed out is…after she had made all these plans with you, she broke them in order to do something with her husband of seemingly no particular importance.
You are giving your friend Bea the wrong answer: yes, you were mad at her and evidently still are. I don't understand why you are denying this. The acknowledgment of it would lead to a conversation where you explain why her behavior upset you and she shows that she understands it, which is the first step towards her not doing something like that again.
There is a lot more to say and explore here that can be explored in a reddit post. I think you have some room for improvement in understanding your own feelings, communicating them to those close to you, and consciously working through things so that you can let them go as the years roll by. I say this not to criticize you but just to make you aware that certain moderate changes could lead to big improvements in your emotional well-being and your close relationships.
I am really sorry about what happened at your child's birthday party, and I wish you all the best.
Your mates are right, start pointing out how very hot guys are, how big their arm muscles are etc. find something he is self conscious about in himself and point it out mercilessly. I know it’s petty but he needs to know how it feels to be in your shoes. You have told him it hurts you and he continues to do it so give him a taste of his own medicine and see if it resolves anything. I agree he’s very disrespectful and does not take your feelings into account.
Talk to your landlord about breaking the lease and leave all your trash behind.
You married a mean spirited person. That's her nature. It's not going to change unless it costs her something.
“He doesn't need to know baby, and I'm right here”.
Quit being mad your girlfriend isn't using you as her reason to shut someone down and actually listen to her. She's saying it doesn't work because it doesn't work.
Wait, you said in a comment that you’re the second guy she’s done this too. She must be asking for these no contact orders as they’re not standard protocol and certainly not normally only binding to one party. Also what did you say or do that made her call the police or is this kind of argument a regular occurrence? Either way, you’re doing your kids a disservice by staying with this person so just let her break up with you.
He’s right on one thing, the past IS the past. What we have done becomes who we are.
He has shown you who he is. It doesn’t matter how much time you spent on him in the past. What do you want for your future?
Oh please, if the CEO did something like that or worse and the company wanted to save face they’d do the exact same thing., except they’d spend the company’s money to send him on a cruise.
It’s not fraud to say someone who has obvious psychiatric problems has psychiatric problems, and it’s not fraud to go to a psych hospital for treatment in a day program because you’ve just thrown your life away and need insight into how and why that happened.
He was referring to messed up pancakes, context matters.
My sexiest tendencies? You don’t even know me ? literally what
This maybe an unpopular opinion but me and my bf had to do this a few years back and it completely saved our relationship. I was taking him for granted and not understanding how much he was doing for me as it was my first time moving out of my parents house and now we live! together again and it’s a totally different dynamic so much healthier than the first time! It’s doable but we knew when I moved out that our goal was to eventually on-line together again and to work on our relationship which wasn’t easy but we both worked for it together
quirks? your presence is required for 8 hours but they only pay you for 5?
you are getting shafted. that's not a quirk lol
It honestly sounds like he might have done this with your youngest to keep you around. If you choose to have sex with him which is ok if you still choose to then just make sure to buy a fresh condom at the store on a date night and you open it and help him put it on.
You can still love him and want things to work out despite him being super shitty. You will also need to sit down and talk to him about it eventually. But only when you’re ready and made a decision on what you plan to do (stay or leave)
People emphasize never getting back with an abuser. Solid advice. Related to that idea, don't give an abuser a doorway back into your life.
And if you look at a lot of the circumcision posts, they're almost always about bashing Jews and Muslims.
Lots of talk about the “civilized countries/people” vs. “uncivilized countries/people”
I don't think he's in the wrong. I never said he was. Most people would do the same. Even if it was assault, her behavior over the holiday alone would justify divorce.
Assault would just change how OP should approach her to get her to stop being so useless.
Please call a suicidal helpline or go to your nearest emergency room.
Thanks for the advice
You don't want to lose him?? This man's a fucking psycho! He threatened your cat's life, changed idea about wanting to wait for sex a million times, proposed to you and then used it to blackmail you into giving in to sex, didn't care at all about your bday and has shown an overall lack of care about your feelings, needs and boundaries. Plus he clearly has serious rage management issues from what you wrote, to that add that he's military and he's got easy access to guns and you have the full picture of the man you're dating.
I'd cut ties with him immediately but please protect yourself in doing so. He sounds like a scary dude. Have someone from your family and friends get you the support you need and be there even when that happens.
Take care, wishing you the best.
With all sincerity, shut up.
and i can definitely see this as her trying to express her sexuality. since it’s mostly female oriented tweets. maybe she feels confined being in a relationship with a guy. i just can’t help but feel this is very sneaky and crosses a boundary. i don’t know how to approach this.
42 in a few months love locke and key
If my partner improved their life in any of the ways you described, I’d be their cheerleader. I’d be proud of them and be supportive of their aspirations. Your husband is trying to drag you down, trying to talk you out of improving yourself. And it sounds like he may be projecting cheating onto you. I would not be too pleased with his attitude and actions if I were in your shoes. Ask yourself this… if he doesn’t change this set of behaviours, would you be content living with it, for the next 40 years, or would it be a weight on your shoulders you’d rather shed?
A round of drinks for $50 is very different from a round of drinks for $306. One is $10 per person the other is over $60 per person. She should not have done that and you have a right to be upset for not being asked. First things first, change your passcode. Second, have a serious yet calm discussion with her. Let her know what she did was wrong. Listen to what she has to say and do not get aggressive, just listen. When she’s done make sure she understands you will not tolerate that again. Not that you’re unwilling to pay but that you’re unwilling to pay without having a say. If she won’t listen or says you’re overreacting then take some time (maybe a few days/weeks) to decide if this is the type of relationship you want to be in, one where clear boundaries are set and ignored.
You said what needed to be said. You did the right thing. You need to make an ultimatum.
When I came back home, it was really late and I was exhausted so, when Thea started shouting at me
This sounds like you are being emotionally abused.
You need to wake up out of this trance that you are in.
I'm currently sleeping at my brother's house
You need to go back home. If she is going to play games and not want to be around you, she can leave.
Do you guys have kids?
He's choosing her. This will always be a problem. I think you should break up. No woman is ok with this. He's putting her before you. You should he his best friend. Not a female He's had sexual history with. Yes he dies need to watch his interactions etc anytime he's not single. He is telling you he doesn't want to. Ok so choose yourself and tell him you derve to be the #1 woman to anyone you date. Leave his dumb ass.
He needs the money because his enemies are trying to attack him and his body guard, right?
I'm sorry that you don't appear to have anyone in your life to say this to you in person, but I want you to know that if you were my friend I would be so fucking proud of you. I'm sorry that the person you love disappointed you so badly, and I know it hurts, but you won't take the pain away by lowering the bar so he can stumble over it. You can't un-know this about him. You shouldn't.
We can hope for a troll and not an abusive relationship!
I know what it means. It's just a phrase.p to denote boring. And, once you've had really great sex then what used to seem great no longer is that great.
No thank you, I do not think I will!
Yeah even if I have days where I can’t get in a shower I’ll still have a quick freshen up with a washcloth for my armpits and crotch/ass.
You're not a burden if he loves you. Hell be with you, for richer or poorer, if you think he's the one for you.
No
If You don't like it
move on
I think he may honestly need some professional help.
I (44F) have lived and worked in Chicago, DC, Portland, LA, and then also in multiple cities in Europe and Africa and well…he’s being weird about this. Have I been beaten and raped? Yes. But by someone I knew. Most assaults are actually by people we know not strangers. And the only time I’ve been mugged was during college in Iowa City, IA. LOL not a big city.
He really does seem to have some kind of phobia going on here.
Fair point
You're right to feel uncomfortable about it. They'll be spending time together, alone, which mean they must be very close.
I think it will just take time – this is extremely similar to what happened with my ex (except that she ended things then got with him immediately), but I think the first steps are to distance yourself from the friend and make sure your bf knows that you didn’t want to fight if you were to tell him. From my experience I just would’ve wanted openness and transparency so that trust can be built up again