Partner (32M) belittled me regarding my (31M) salary before a huge group of his coworkers and friends

" Henry" and I have been together for about 10 months. We all rarely have disagreements, and when they do happen they' re usually about diverging preferences in movies, food, etc .

One thing is he' s i9000 a little weird about cash. He' s a talented software engineer who has already been making big money since he graduated college, but this individual was a first-gen student with an immigrant background and normally had to work really incredibly hot. So as a result he is still very thrifty and anal about money.

I however had a normal middle class upbringing with two public schoolteacher parents. However , I graduated with a humanities diploma and for several years I was making no more than ~$60k. Over the past few years I managed to pivot into tech and just recently arrived an $85k/year developer position which I am very excited and happy about normally.

Anyway, Wednesday Henry had a big get-together at his house for his birthday celebration (which is tomorrow). There must have been 25-30 people presently there and I knew very few of these. At one point we were all in his living room and wanted to do a round-robin introduction thing. We were supposed to state our name, what we perform, and one interesting fact about ourselves.

when it came to my turn, I introduced personally, mentioning that I was Henry' s BF and that I was about to start a new job. I had had a couple of drinks and kind of overshared that I was excited because it was a big pay bump. Obviously I didn' t state the amount. But all of a sudden Holly interjects with: " Don' t get ahead of yourself honey, it' s still only 85k! Hahahaha. "

I was completely taken aback and stunned and just handed it onto the next individual. I couldn' t think he would call out our salary in front of a huge group of mostly strangers, most of whom were software people who most likely make double what I' ll be making. I didn' t bring it up and also have no idea if I should. A couple of friends told me I need to loosen up and not even think of getting it up until at least after his birthday, if at all. Yet what he said significantly offended, hurt, and humiliated me and I want him to know that. Thoughts?

submitted by /u/ThrowRA_Throw_Away
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