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I hope things work out for you and I am sorry this happened ❤️
what a frigging hypocrite and imagine your dad ' hey can i bang your daughter, virtuously' erm, plus you have already been together 6 months, bit late mate.
ignore him hes talking tosh and theres nothing wrong with you having had a partner before. He's just jealous that you have so making it a thing.
Of course it’s not what you’d say introducing someone for the first time. It would be odd for that to never once come up, however, over the course of three years of them being best friends.
It’s normal to know more about your the best friend of your SO of three years than about some random acquaintance you’ve just been introduced to.
Why are you friends with someone who confessed to having feelings for you and that you continued to flirt with while you are MARRIED ? That’s an emotional affair.
You shouldn’t need or want attention from anyone other than your husband. And if that’s not enough attention for you, then you shouldn’t be married.
This is a very interesting take. Thanks for this.
My husband can be rather picky. I just give him money now. He doesn't get ecstatic over that either, but at least he buys what he wants with it and I don't have to deal with him being picky.
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Damn ,,, that's how women look at relationships now… PRE AND POST COVID?
Not at all. That statement was directed at mothers that did not give birth. They unfortunately do not get to have the physical marks that match the beautiful marks on their souls from having children.
There is no way to make life without “marks”. As I said in my original comment, every woman's body changes differently with birth, but all of them absolutely will change. You can look at bones of women from thousands of years ago and still determine if they were pregnant and if they gave birth. You can tell if a woman has been pregnant or given birth by the cells in her body, the shape of her pelvis, her hormones, even brain structure. Please don't equate “marks of motherhood” with only body shape, there's so much more to it and those marks are beautiful.
I celebrate all female bodies at all stages of life, from the tiniest baby to the oldest of us and in all shapes and sizes, they're all beautiful.
Not for me chief. Her kink is basically someone that isn’t you
I am confused why someone would ever say to their current significant other that their ex was “so perfect I almost married him.” Why isn’t this bothering you more?
narcissism is a personality disorder and yes, it is diagnosed
I honestly couldn't tell. He didn't seem like too surprised or excited. Like he smiled and he told me I was naked and we had sex and that is it. And he never said to me ou can you put on that outfit again. Or I sometimes like when I get under the shower, I tell him to pick an outfit he wants to see me in. And sometimes he does sometimes he doesn't.
what you’re missing here is that your example wasn’t a “weird set of circumstances”, it is perfectly common. there will be many times in life where you might think you know everything about a subject but you actually don’t. most people wouldn’t approach that situation saying ‘well if that were true I’d know about it’. that’s what makes you a know-it-all, not your good memory or deep knowledge base or whatever, it’s your attitude towards knowing what you think you know.
yes, i innerstand that’s probably what it is just me wanting to let it be known cause i feel the need to at least talk about it cause i don’t want tuck it down and it ends up being one of those things resurface
If my wife contacted my boss for anything… let alone arranging for me to take time off, I would be mad as hell. That’s a bad surprise. Likewise, as a boss, if an employee’s boyfriend called me and asked for authorization to take time off, I would be miffed. Her time bank isn’t at your disposal. You could have planned this for an evening or a weekend and not messed with her job. You’re not even married… you had no business doing that.
Amazingly creepy about leaking your information to the entire world.
Who the hell out gender into the mix? And I thought we were talking about the creepers here, not the victims?
Even if you do make a mistake, it's called life.
This sounds like you are the kind of guy who says this after a nonconsensual something-something: “oh, I didn't know you were underage and didn't want all this.. oh well, it happened already, little mistake on my side, its called life.”
Ps. Other than all the legal shit you can do when considered an adult by the state, no one considers an 18 year old truly an adult, not themselves and not other people around
Don't panic! I didn't even have my first serious relationship until I was 29 and several years removed from university.
Dating after studying is different, and there's fewer “opportunities”, but the vast majority of student relationships don't turn into a long-term thing. Most relationships started before the age of 30 don't last.
Also, don't worry about things like children and marriage, you can do those things well into your thirties too. It's even becoming more and more normal to do it in your forties. You have plenty of time.
I really just fail to see how OP wanting to go out once a month or so to NON CLUBBING ACTIVITIES is not “working towards their goals” and “her being in a different place”
But sure – I guess because OP liked your comment your words are gospel
This is the comment I came to see. He figured a 25 year old would put up with his crap because of immaturity.
Block him and move on
You are 100% in the right! Hygiene is important and you’re also taking good preventative measures against a UTI. If he can’t shower before sex he’ll just have to handle not getting any. Since you’ve stated why you won’t have sex with him it’s not on you anymore. He can change his ways or accept his fate.
If you think his dad will stab him that's all the more reason to cut him out. I'm not changing my mind about reccomending defending one's self. Also I am very calm, I think you are the only not calm.
We are not going change eachother's minds so lets agree to disagree, you can have the last word.
I think you’re more into her that she’s into you because if 4/5 months of a relationship where you do show her affection are not enough I’m nit sure time is the issue. I hope I’m wrong.
Just use fake names next time. This is needlessly naked to follow.
This… doesn’t sound healthy. It sounds like you are making your life all about her and depending on her for everything. That’s not fair to either of you – you because as you’ve seen, it makes you anxious all the time and her because that’s too much to put on one person.
It sounds like you’re both still enjoying each other, but you probably should talk to a therapist about how to manage your feelings and not be codependent.
He's a porn/sex addict in denial. Please leave him.
And about her being avoidant bcs of her trauma , i helped her find a therapist but she only saw her twice bcs when her dad sent her money for her therapist she used that money to buy sneakers!!!??!
She is not mature enough she does stupid things like choosing some shoes over therapy which would help our relationship . And then instead of breaking up with her for not prioritizing our relationship ( which she said herself, she always prioritizes herself over anyone else) i gave her a book to read which helps people who are avoidant and she only read like 3 pages
Nope op needs intense therapy before she forces herself on someone else
If someone wants you to change, then they don’t love you. They love who they want to turn you into. The irony is once you are that person, “you aren’t the person they fell in love with”
This isn’t a choice of him vs a dress. This is between the authentic you, and who he wants you to become.
Always choose the authentic you.
This is poor logic. it’s worse and more intimate that she brought her siblings with her. Enjoying familiarity with family is indicative of a much deeper bond than just two exes catching up over lunch.
Is this a question? He’s a sexual predator, dump him.
People still need to be careful with pure oils. They can throw off the PH and cause issues. It's a good idea to test with a tiny amount first.
Laura is irrelevant in terms of what “type” of woman she is. If not her, it would have been someone else. The husband is the actual cheater here.
The OP should be writing a late night sitcom. I reckon 2/10 for effort.
I have nothing to say. I live in Germany where the housing market is broken. Had to borrow 400k from a bank and 300 k from my mother and a little from my father in law and it is still a miracle we actually got a house. Paying everyone back is still less expensive then renting.
When there is no other option .. go with it.
Oh I know that. You know that. But your wife… that’s likely the “facts” as her heart and head see them.
I dunno if I can agree with this, it's not his job to fix her self esteem and what she said was pretty hurtful if not egotistical. And regardless of effort nobody owes anyone else sex
Picture if a guy had taken his gf out on a romantic date to her favorite place, gotten her a nice dinner with him treating, bought her flowers and a thoughtful gift, and as the night was winding down gave her a sensual massage that she drifted off to sleep during. Then the next morning got upset she didn't have sex with him, and even though he helped her go to sleep said something like “do you know how many women would have sucked me dry after a day like that?”
I think even regardless of the effort, time, and money he put into making that day special NO ONE would be telling her to go overboard in appeasing his ego or self esteem. I think they'd be telling him that while it's great he put in all that effort and it's understandable to be disappointed that she isn't responsible for his feelings and sex isn't a treat you deposit favors for. Also that his attitude in telling her something like that is gross and entitled. And if this came after an especially rough day at work for her…
She can feel how she feels and I'm sure a lot of people (especially guys) can empathize with putting in a lot of effort in hopes of sex but not receiving it. That doesn't make it okay to get an attitude about it.
Personally, I'd say it's not worth it. If he's going to be this petty here, he's gonna be this petty everywhere else, too.
He's seizing his opportunity to go off on you about something you go off about on him, only he's going to the extreme. Not cool.
Your wisdom is showing. This is the way. No one has a crystal ball, maybe circumstances change in the future but you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and looking out for yourself.
Yes, but he's never married one! Bullet dodged, time for OP to move on and break this awful habit, he's picking them for a reason. Perhaps he needs to take the time to work on his self love?
You are not crazy.
Think about it, why would he prioritise his friend's marriage over his own? Because by not allowing you to contact this woman, that's what he was claiming to do.
Secondly, let's imagine that he is innocent of this. Its totally reasonable that you would be suspicious of his call logs – why doesn't he empathise with how you would interpret them? Wouldn't he think/feel the same way if he saw something like that on your phone? Telling you you're “crazy” for thinking something totally logical is very manipulative and cruel.
Thirdly, look, all the signs show that he cheated. He could be bringing disease home with him into your bed. He has no problem risking your physical or mental health through his actions. He's a liar and a manipulator. If he wants to be able to sleep with Spanish women while having a wife at home he should go try to find a woman interested in having an open marriage.
Break up with him. If you’re bi but not really attracted to dudes, maybe don’t bother with them in your future relationships
The misuse of the term “abuse” is getting out of control on this sub and the ableist trend of claiming that ADHD deficits are character flaws, even malicious abuse, needs to f’ing stop.
You claim he’s supposed to know that you don’t like it, but you say “thank you” and eat it anyway, so why wouldn’t he think that you actually enjoy it? Why should your “trauma” be at the forefront of his mind every time he make food? Especially if he has ADHD, which often means not being able to connect the dots in a way a neurotypical person would expect. It’s not that we know something and choose to ignore it, but that information learned in one context literally does not exist in another because cognitive processes simply don’t work the same way in us as they do in neurotypicals. It’s like a FileNotFound error except we don’t remember the file ever existed or that we’re supposed to look for it in the first place. The information is there, but it’s not retrievable without prompts. Medication, alarms, post-its, etc. can help some, but nothing fundamentally changes how our brains work. ADHD affects everything we do and every memory, thought, and emotion 24/7 because it is part of the design of our brains. Alarms do not override the millions of processes our brains run every day. So if you haven’t said you hate being served breakfast in bed when he serves it, it’s entirely possible he has no idea that you hate it.
Leave if you’re not happy, but please don’t run around telling people that he abused you by serving you breakfast in bed, especially when you don’t even use your words. It trivializes abuse and discredits allegations by real victims. If you don’t like his personality or behaviors that stem from ADHD, that’s fine too, but you aren’t being “abused” by his brain functioning the way it was designed. He doesn’t have ADHD at you.