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I think you sound a lot like you just don't like them and resent them for not being grateful enough. You make it sound like they scammed you by accepting your help. Did you want them to be penniless and starving when they arrived? What is wrong with then having some cash? It's their entire life savings and you're mad they didn't offer to drop it all on flights when there was another option. 2.5 months isn't that long considering the situation. I'm a bit surprised at how pissed off you got at them for minute stuff considering they are refugees who have fled their home and lost everything.
They are probably not as overwhelmed by your generosity as the bosses, because you are essentially family. It's somewhat expected that you help, unfortunately. That doesn't mean they're ungrateful, just that they aren't going to show as much gratitude.
I don't think what they said was so bad. It was impolite but I think you're being oversensitive. However you have helped a lot and are under no obligation to continue. They are safe and healthy and will be alright without you at this point if you choose to stop helping them. You've seen them over the worst of it
Is he 20 or 21? ?
I feel like this is weird fantasy porn.
If you’ve already brought it up to him and he’s constantly just brushing it off and acting like it’s nothing I would just say to him listen I’m so fucking sick of telling you that your friends are inappropriate with me and if you’re not going to defend me as my boyfriend you can fuck off and I’ll go find a man who would because I’m not gonna be disrespected and made uncomfortable by anyone especially not my partner is own friends. I might even throw in there because you’re two years older than him that this is why you don’t want to date someone younger than you because you don’t think they can protect you and the way that they were supposed to and he’s proving you right because then maybe it will get in his head that he’s being a piece of shit and he will realize how immature he’s being.