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He's cheating on you, leave him.
Girl. You have made several other posts before this one (from a burner account) obsessing over how your coworker is your “perfect man” and in another post said that you admitted you had a crush on him before all this workplace drama kicked off – not just that you told him you like him for protecting you (?).
You may never know why your coworker was uncomfortable enough to go straight to the boss about your confession, but it's important to acknowledge and respect his feelings. He doesn't want a relationship with you, and might not ever be comfortable resuming your old level of friendship. Respect that. Don't try apologizing or getting an explanation out of him – your coworker is clearly asking for space, and if you continue pushing his boundaries you could be fired instead of stuck working from home. Look into other avenues for dating OUTSIDE your workplace, and a couple sessions with a therapist could help to work through your strong, unreciprocated feelings. Crushes are fine but they become a problem when the pursuer can't move past their infatuation.
You’ve been long distance dating for 5 months. You have no idea if this person has a “sound mind.” Signs point to no.
Easier said than done 🙁 lol
You’re right. I just worry that he doesn’t have a lot of drive and ambition, which might lead to problems in the future if it doesn’t change.
I could be self-sabotaging though, I never thought of it that way.
Is it photorealistic or more like a minimalist line art?
Leave. Talk to a lawyer if your name is anywhere on the mortgage to the house, if it’s only in your name make him leave and change the locks. He’s unmasking and it’s about to get so much worse.
Well its concerning he could be horny AFTER he found out WHY you were crying. sometimes sex makes some people feel better maybe thats what he was trying. otherwise you really need to work on communication or there will be more problems later on too.
Do talk to her.
I am saying this because I had a friend who genuinely couldn't tell if a baby was distressed and when they moved around she thought they were just playing. The first time I saw her with a baby and she was giggling when the baby was trying to get away, throwing his legs around, I thought she was a psychopath. When I asked her about this she said they were playing, I had to explain to her that babies actually don't do that when playing. I kid you not I've never seen someone so shocked and remorseful. She apologized to the baby, the parents, she was very sad for a few weeks too.
I think sometimes people are clueless but you need to know if that is the case.
Bravo!
There are ways to explore a breeding kink without actually impregnating someone.
Thats not cheating lol.
I'm only 21 and i have no business talking to anyone under 18 if we are not related.
Personally, I'd go for a break-up. Because this is not healthy, and thus not sustainable.
Although I'm the first person to admit that I'm also very petty. And have a sharp tongue…
“I'm a bad person.” – “Yes, yes you are.” / “I'm so glad you finally noticed.” / “Self awareness is the first step to improvement.”
“I hate myself.” – “You should.” / “Don't hate yourself, better yourself.”
“I wish I slept and never woke up again.” – “Same here.” / “It would make the world a better place.”
Runnnnn
god will forgive you for aborting that fetus and saving it from the inevitable hurt it will feel if you bring it into this situation
ur ex about surface level subjects, why do you think you’re in love with her? You don’t r
because we only really spoke that one time, and we admit that we still thought about each other and we made a passing comment about a future, but as I thought we would be able to be friends and keep see each other we didn't speak about our feelings. but now that she has tried to reach out to catch up I do feel guilty. maybe I'm not in love with her but I feel like I still love her
A tale as old as time.
I see now
Putting your own happiness before the well being of your children is probably the most selfish thing a mother can do. Go to therapy to work on yourself so your children don't have to in the future.
And don't give me that “my children will be better off with an absent mother than a depressed mother” crap.
Pure egoism.
I would suggest “Thank You.” Message just to put it all behind. There are more and more reasons for him to text but trying to know what exactly it is won't really help you and the message will put an end to whatever it is or it is not, good call on telling your spouse. Try not to pay heed to it as much. It will eventually fade away like it did the last time. Only this time it won't hurt. Take care!
We last talked on Friday. Even then it felt like the convo was abruptly ended.
Bro. Unless you’re exclusive and she’s been std tested you need to use protection. This isn’t just about pregnancy.
And if she had sex with another dude earlier in the day yes giving oral might be gross, although to be fair some guys are into thst. But Months ago? Nah. Everyone has a history.
My dad and mum have light hazel eyes, mine are dark brown like my grandmothers eyes.
You don’t just get eye colour genetics from mum and dad.
yes I've done the same – writing it off as them trying to wind me up. Turned out they said misogynistic things because they were misogynistic.
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Yeah, before we signed the lease he promised things would get better and they actually did for a bit, but now I’m worried it’s slipping again. Hopefully we can have a mature conversation, and come back from this. Otherwise I probably will be reevaluating.
Good luck and have a wonderful Christmas
One of his comments in his original post.
“My bits responsible for producing sperm were removed 11 years ago and I’ve been on TRT since then. There is 0 chance that child is mine.”
You have no choice? Um…of course you do. You can choose to go see a lawyer and draw up papers. She can’t force you into anything.
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All I can tell you is what you feel is normal. Don't be afraid, it will pass with time. You will recover and have joy again one day in your life. Just takes time.
I'm curious as to whether or not you have read the book?
At least you don't have kids with him. You're still very and can find a partner who doesn't lie and then cower when you confront him. This guy sounds like he may have committed too early in life and now wants to sow some oats.
What you do is you go to the school and get it documented how long he was left there when your wife was supposed to pick him up.
You talk to her over text about the situation so you have evidence from her own fucking hands that getting dick was more important to her than picking up her son.
and then you divorce and try to get primary or full custody since she clearly can't be trusted.
Of course she wants you to stay and figure things out. Have you never heard of having your cake and fucking it too?
I don’t understand how you smoking weed can “cause” her miscarriages!?
Tough one. Not really any good way to handle this. He hasn’t done anything that out of line but it’s hurting your feelings which sucks. I’d probably leave it. It’s not that deep. Do you guys ever meet irl?
Well I have learnt the very hot way that most people who ask “not dating but exclusivity” wants YOU to be dedicated to them ONLY and not them dedicated to you. Even if you confront him you will just hear excuses and empty promises. I would be glad you were never dating, let him know you arent a good fit after all (imo he doesnt deserve an explanation) and go your own separate ways
I agree completely. My main issue is that our relationship, in my mind, was in part founded on the fact that she didn’t want to be that kind of girl, all the while she was still engaging in that behaviour at the time.
I haven’t because I felt like it isn’t my place to speak for her. I think it would make her angrier at me for overstepping. I appreciate your feedback; it’s really reassuring!
I was looking for this. I’m a big black guy and I will not risk being in a situation we’re I can be misunderstood as the aggressor, I that scenario best case I’m arrested and we all know the worst case
Your texts are too lame and needy, don’t ask questions and don’t tell a girl on the first date that u really want a second date, make her work for that second date. And wait like 36 hrs before messaging her after the date, they may they want a “I hope u got home ok” text but that doesn’t make them miss u
I’m 29 and I can tell you I do not want a 22 year old. Way too young. So they probably think the same way
Professional means paid and sponsored so much so that you don’t have to work. I work but most of my goals are athletic based and I train 6 days a week. It’s my life, joy and stress relief. It’s how I care for myself mentally, emotionally and physically. So it’s very important to me.
Wait no way your boyfriend goes over to visist his bedt friends????? Next you're going to tell me they visit him too. Quick question how long have you two been dating and how long has he known his best friend and his wife
Sounds like he’s immature and can’t handle life. He has no patience and seems to be taking advantage of you. Not cool.
Yeah that sound reasonable. I guess i never really gave him that speech at all. It all just kind of slowly happened over years. Maybe it just hitting him.
Break up, and get a therapist to help you figure out why you would even be trying to stay with someone who treats you so poorly.
I personally would bring it up but don’t bring up cheating just mention you saw her using a weird app and maybe she doesn’t understand what it is for? That’s 100% for your partner to handle or look into if she wants
I think your kids would:
Want you to have never broken up (sadly not an option) Being happy and healthy apart and coparenting Get back together because it will make you and them think things are back to normal
You have feelings for who she was and not who she is. Your kids miss having happy together parents.
She is offering no explanation for her erratic behaviour. With reeks of guilt, she seems to have left you for what she thought was a better option which hasn't worked out.
I am be presumptuous in my first few statements, but can you honestly say you have feelings for the women she is now?
If you did get back together and she did this again it would be very unsettling and upsetting for you and you kids.
What a piece of shit partner you are. You should let her go now and quit using her out of convenience until it suits you to end things.
Right, I agree. I’ve always said I wanted to live with someone for a little while before I marry them. But this situation is a little different bc we can’t just move in together and take things for a real test drive. He came here in November, he’s coming back in March, then I’m going over there in may/June. All these trips are only about two weeks at a time though.
Sounds about right? He asked you to leave a high paying job, he lets you down on this vacation. Why couldn’t he move to you so you could keep your job? He’s all about him him him and doesn’t give a shit about you. Cut your losses and cut him out.
How the hell does a 48 year old act like this?
Most people outgrow that kind of shit in their early 20s
Yes this….I was also thinking that OP shouldn't make her the maid of honor if she will be ghosting her
This is a toxic way of thinking. Everyone has feelings and crying doesn't make you “less of a man” Masculinity ain't that damn fragile.
Sorry about your Mom. And now I have to ask what kind of advice are you looking for?
Just Peg him or some other guy will. Lolol
Exactly. It’s like asking a little kid, “why did you hit your sister?” If there’s no good explanation, no justification, don’t bother asking why, just move on.
omg i knew i recognized this guy lol
You are a really bad person. You should let her be free so that your child doesn't grow up with a dad like you
Do you have friends or family in the area whom you can go to?
If yes, go do it. If you're going to have a job starting 1/23, it's in a week, you can try and tell these people you will start contributing as soon as you get your first paycheck.
The issue is if you have burned bridges in the past with these people or if they're toxic or both.
It sounds that you've been unemployed for awhile since you have no saving, no $, so she's aware of this, her treatment against you is likely due to anger and frustration and resentment. She doesn't have to blow up over chicken nugget sauce, but she does because she's angry over other things that has been happening in the relationship. Her anger and overreaction is NOT about chicken nugget sauce.
This situation as a whole, is not healthy for either of you.
Don't hesitate to go to a shelter if need be, for the night. You don't want things to escalate.
and if you two move in together I'll give you one guess who he would expect to take over mom's chores and I guarantee you he's clueless how to do any of this crap and would feign helplessness.
It’s not silly or funny. It’s abusive
Oh my fucking god dude, your son is 7?? He is not too little to know what’s going on. He might not know the intricacies, but he is registering everything and he will process it while he’s older.
As a daughter whose mother cheated on her dad when she was 8, I can tell you that shit will fuck up your son for life. I found out about my depression when I was 21. I spent my mid twenties being angry at my parents for causing my depression. Nobody deserved any of that.
Get him and you into therapy NOW.
And don't blame yourself. He would have acted like this after your date or before. He is a creep. Stay away from people like that.
I’m just glad it wasn’t permanent lol. I know a guy who can’t eat chocolate, wine, or coffee anymore. Permanently. I’ll take a couple months of sewage over that any day.
So you broke up, amiably it sounds like, with a guy after the relationship ran it’s course. Only after he was single did he hook up with her.
I think you are bringing unnecessary drama not only into the houses of your friends but of yourself as well.
I can see not wanting to be around your ex but even that has to change at some point. Your avoidance isn’t doing you any favors.
Yeah what the hell is going on, Reddit’s bias is showing with this post. If a woman posted this about her husband everyone would be acknowledging the clear mental abuse going on here, not trying to victim blame. Gaslighting is abusive and wrong whether her intentions with her son are good or not.
So umm, you're currently pregnant?
Agree with every word of this. I'm going to go throw the ball for my dog a few more times today and give her some extra brushes ?
You. Were. Broken. Up.
You were single, why would you feel guilty? Besides, it doesn't seem like the most mature relationship anyways if you have been on and off for 6 months.
No, no, her previous relationships don't have any effect on our relationship, it's all really good.
What would I do? Dump him.
Here is the think. Her marriage is already in question and if her husbend has a spine he will make her an ex. Just her thinking of going is showing how much she cares about the marriage.
2 brownies is really not a big deal, i think you need to chill out an focus on yourself
Your boyfriend is not pro choice if he thinks he can pick and choose when a woman has the right to make decisions about their own body. Don't stay in a relationship with someone that thinks your rights are conditional.
I know this I would never want to hurt him :/
Whenever you want. I don't think that's something you need to disclose right away. Maybe after he's proposed but before the wedding? I would be more concerned with starting up a relationship with a coworker.
Thank you
I think you’re the one with the problem here. Why are you wasting your life on this?
“I'll take 'Didn't Actually Read the Post or Notice It Was an Update' for $200, Alex.”
If you’re BF/GF that is exclusive.. unless they’re just seeing each other but I wouldn’t be referring to that person as such in that scenario.
Sorry dude…I thought you liked mean-talk. ?
Exactly. Bisexual is a joke to this woman. She wants to cheat and this is how she tried to bring ENM up to her husband. I bet within a few months of him being “ok” w it she will be dating men too. I think she has ulterior motives here and is trying to open relationship this way… but psychologically she does not take bisexuality seriously and I think she's lying to open up the marriage so she can fuck other men.
Thank you so much for this reply. I honestly have told myself over and over that I feel like his “emotional punching bag” and its so validating to hear that someone else call it the same. I very much am at the end of my rope and feel I need to put my needs first or I'm going to end up mentally unwell.
He hasn't gotten over anything if he's readily shit-talking you. This giant man-child needs to be left back on his mother's doorstep where he belongs.
My thoughts exactly, I know rehab isn’t a vacation but he also has zero responsibilities while I am left with all…it’s going to be very very hot to trust him again with both substances and women.
You don’t want to be in a relationship with this girl anymore. Trust me things will not get better. Only worse.
Every guy I know has shit like this on his phone + more
Negging or just rude to comment on other women in general. Different if you expressed a concern about yourself and he honestly answered. Just be mindful.
I don't know how he's going to date someone 6 years younger than him and then be upset when she makes less money than him. Obviously a 26 year old is going to be as far along in their career, if he's this bothersome about it why didn't he date another 30 year old? Almost no 26 year olds are rich and you sound like you're still doing pretty damn well either way. He needs to get off his high horse with his unrealistic standards or he'll have nobody.
And the crazy part is we aren’t even officially dating so it makes no sense at all.
Dating is a test and you failed.
You only maybe get a second chance when kids are involved.
There's so many wonderful reliable people. Why would she settle for you?
Learn from this lesson. Most people will not tolerate your BS.
I like your perspective. I feel I am a lot like you. My boyfriend is entirely out of my league physically, but we are a perfect match internally.
In fact, I'm aware that he was surprised by my weight when we met (LDR, although I'd been very, very open about my weight and body type previously). I was NOT graceful finding out, but honestly his steadfastly gentle, graceful, intimate kindness and love showed me for the first time that maybe I don't have to feel valueless just because I'm not the hottest girl on earth.
Now I know that he doesn't just accept or tolerate me – he loves me with all of his heart. It's been a while since that all went down and I know this is the guy I'm going to marry.
Honestly, I don't think this is a dealbreaker. I mean, the context matters; was he talking smack or relating his personal experience with a past struggle? It must have hurt and perhaps been humiliating. OP has every right to handle it how she wants. But I know I still talk to my best friend about stuff I used to feel that I do not feel anymore. I've talked to her about things that happened between me and him and how I felt after the fact, and it's not all stuff for his eyes.
I don't think OP was necessarily wrong to take a peek at what was already open and talking about her. I bet she thought it was gonna be something cute and nice. I bet it was devastating when it wasn't. But I hope OP can work out her priorities re: personal standards. Probably more situations than not call for a break up when one partner finds out the other didn't (doesn’t?) find them physically attractive. But I wouldn't say all of them.
lol haha you try so naked to make your lifestyle the superior one. it wasn't enough that I said I respected the way you view love and sex even if it wasn't for me, no, you felt the need to shit on the way I want to live and love to feel good about yourself.
I know many poly people and people in open relationships that are very abused and in very abusive relationships so take it down a notch 🙂 nobody is perfect. what you offer is not what I want. it is a huge turn off for me. this is the whole point of my post. I'm turned off by my husbands request.
Who cares if he knows you screenshot it?
Actually, there was a lot of shit.
I’m confused why an actual sociopath/psychopath would disclose what they were. Power play, maybe? What would he have to gain from telling the mother in law what he was. Maybe he’s so confident in his manipulation over OP, he doesn’t feel the need to hide who he is/his intentions anymore
Damn bitch at least own your shit. It was a mistake but I loved it? Which is it because it can’t be both.
The messages are still completely unacceptable regardless of how minimal.
My ex had to have that, 10/10 still cringe for him.
There are times I wished I didn't read…..this is definitely one of those times.
She could have ADHD, they don’t experience quiet. I wouldn’t be able to handle that either, so don’t
They raised 4 kids. What happens to your siblings? Will they go to foster care. You are not giving enough info.
Your parents let you live free. Did they pay for your education? My son always forgets that we paid $250k…Lol
Not much info here.
Is there anyone else in your life you can go to for emotional support?
How long were you in therapy for?
Well if I were the couples therapist I would sit you down together and ask her to tell you everything she feels. All I would ask you to do is summarise now and then so that she would feel heard and understood. I'm sure she has much to say that you aren't hearing at all.
Then once she realises how it feels to be really heard, I would ask her to sit down with the kids and listen to them.
There seems to be a lot of transmitting, you to her, her to them, and a lack of receiving.
Hi, do you guys talk alot?
That’s her problem that she never got to be herself. Not yours, and certainly not your kids.
Why is it for so many of these women, they discover themselves by getting ran through?
If you're going to take a break, don't go. If you're planning to try to salvage things, then go.
If neither of you have plans to move within the next few months to a year, you may need to think about how this is going to work long term.
Yea I know the pain you mean, an instant sharp stinging no get it out now, not in the mood at all now pain.
What’s your gut feeling?
Question: does it matter if he cheated ? You’re 22, living with his mom, pregnant with his twins and clearly in an unhealthy relationship. Why stay, even if he’s not cheating ?
He knows. And you may never get that. You can't control him, but you can walk away because you should.
Wow, what a thing to defend. You really want to back the rape “joke” guy in this scenario? And way to minimize the very real grooming and abuse that happens to young girls by older men.
I’m gonna go on a wide ride here and guess that you’re single
Your daughter in law is a cheat, a liar and whereas she might have blown smoke up your ass, your actual CHILD NEEDED YOU.
And you failed him.
I’m a pegger. Love putting stuff in dudes asses. That absolutely does not make you gay. Your girlfriends physique does not make you gay. I guarantee your guy friends are curious as FUCK and that’s why they’re ragging on you
Get therapy and figure out why your first and only reaction wasn't telling him to f off.
Send her a birthday text. Don’t do anything else and reflect on whether you want to be in a relationship. Come to an answer fast.
That is so start. I hope it helps. Just don't give up on yourself.
I’m agnostic and my wife is Catholic. Most of the time food wise I just don’t eat meat on certain days and go with the flow. My kids have been raised Catholic. So I’ll point you to just going with the flow. If you’re going to eat pork just worry about you and respecting boundaries. You don’t have to believe in their beliefs just go with the flow. Happy wife happy life.
Run
Take all this into your therapist for a 2 hour session and process ending things. Then contact a lawyer and get divorce started. I would say to get the lawyer first but given how toxic and “sticky” this all is I think you probably need a serious round of mental/emotional support to make the break.
He wants your permission to go on his vacation and freely have sex with other people as often as he can without feeling guilty.
He's going to do this whether he gets your permission or not.
If you stay with him, get STD tests before getting back together, and expect this to happen again.
This shows the level of respect that he has for you , and your relationship…. which is pretty much zero.
From here wish him a happy vacation, tell him all his stuff will be boxed up and shipped to him while he is away, and don't bother contacting you when he returns. Then block everywhere, and let everyone know why you broke up with him.
Therapy. Now.
You think you’re fooling her but you’re not. Are you still going to be doing this when your baby is old enough to start catching your vibe?
You need to actually deal with your emotions instead of just plastering over them.
I’m not diagnosing him as autistic. Other people are suggesting it, but I haven’t. However, I am putting forth the knowledge that there is medication that helps some people with their sensory issues. Him not qualifying for an autism diagnosis doesn’t mean the medication won’t work.
Tf? What do kids have to do with it? And what does monotony? OPs GF thinks she got herself a servant who will wait on her hand and foot. She continues to ask to be waited on and never reciprocates. It’s not monotony. It’s entitlement and laziness.
You didn’t give enough information for me to tell if there are red flags or not, but you do sound very grounded. I think the age difference means this won’t be a long term relationship, most likely would be a passing thing, so consider that and proceed with caution if that’s what you want. But you know yourself, if you get attached easily maybe is better to keep your distance.
YTA you have sacrificed your relationship with your daughter to support your sister and her kids. What your daughter did was not wrong at all, it was from pent up frustration. Look up malicious compliance, you told her to take out everything that was hers, that she owned (paid for) and she did what she was told. Sucks for you and your sister (maybe now your sister will be more motivated to move out).
So she was basically a tenant.
Do you think it's appropriate as a de facto landlord to unilaterally remove a tenant from their room, refuse to repair basic utilities when they break, and demand that they financially provide for your houseguests?
Why are you only working part-time? Seems the obvious solution is for you to work full-time like she does.
All the posts like this bring up memories of my first relationship when i was about this age. I couldn't have picked a worse person!
both your SO and her best friend suck btw
Congrats on catching this cancer super early — after a surgical removal and some TLC you will feel right as rain. I mean him, of course, he’s the cancer. Excise it from your life, you are too young and life is too unpredictable to spend it with someone you can’t count on when shit gets very hot. The only guarantee is that it WILL get naked, at some point, in some form or another. Best of luck.
Did you try to check that “brothers” identity?
As the onky living parent has died there is no way to check with any of her relatives.
According to their very weird behavior… I would absolutely check his identity.
You are not the first husband to be dished out a fake brother!
Also: today is “stop being a doormat” day!
You sound soooo apologetic that it gets annoying.
You let her walk allover your boundaries (reasonable boundaries every person would have) and don't react.
How do YOU pay for HIS things?
Out he goes. And her with him. Children stay with you as neither of them can provide for them.
Oh lol he didn't necessarily ghost me on my bday, he actually wanted to see me that day! But I turned him down because it was super late and I had already gotten ready for bed. I wanted to see him yesterday! But he wasn't responding to my texts but read them so I'm guessing he's being petty?
OP needs an abortion yesterday. I can’t feel bad for her when she brought children into a situation with an abuser and continues to allow them to be victimized. She’s a terrible mother.
He is not a private person on social media.He constantly posts photos of him,And his friends (Both male and Female).That's the thing that mostly hurts me.If he was a private person I would've understood.But he intentionally keeps me away from his social media. I am the one who wants to post but no, he won't let me do that
Set a boundary. “This is your last warning. if you say you'd rather give your love to someone else again? Then you'll be free to do so. I'm tired of giving you chances when you say shit like that. Don't let it happen again. This. Is. THE. Last. Chance.”
If you give her a last chance… that's a seriously bullshit response on her part.
You can't read her hints? Tell her to be less 'hint' and more direct.
Just because you can't read her hints doesn't give her the permission to be vicious. You can't read hints? She's not allowed to be that level of toxic in response.
You’ve tried to get him help. He doesn’t want it. It’s time for you to go.
First day on Reddit? Everything is a projection based on minimal information
Lack of sex education to the point where he’s hurting his partner. Nobody should be having sex without a sexual education anyways.. it’s like volunteering for a math competition without knowing algebra
Just be honest and hope for the best.
Hun, he didn’t get you anything because he was low on money.
Then you didn’t get him anything because you were low on money.
Then you went to his city without making concrete plans to have a date and make sure he was available.
Why on Earth do you think he’s the only person not making an effort?
There’s no other way to deal with this apart from putting your foot down, it’s not controlling to expect basic decency. Without knowing how you guys live or see each other we can’t help too much, he’s entitled to game in his time off. If you really want to see if there a future in this relationship, separate yourself physically from him and his computer, go stay at a friends etc and see how long it takes before he starts to look for you, not only that does he come to you or does he expect you to come back to his to watch him game
She may not be cheating but she is sure as hell enjoying all the male attention she's getting and I'd be worried what what happen if you do anything to upset her. Sounds like she has options lined up ready to go
I appreciate you taking both of our sides in this.
I’m from the UK, so France is only a couple hours flight – I wanted to pick somewhere close for my first solo trip.
I didn’t spring this onto him as a surprise. I let him know earlier this month that I wanted to book a trip to France at the end of May and he said he looked into it and thought it’s a great destination as it seems safe. So I’m confused to why he’s now mad at me and is telling me to at least reschedule for later in the summer
Enjoy being banned. Im reporting you
People do not retain any legal rights over gifts. Even if they took out loans to pay for the gift. Engagement rings are a weird gray area in some jurisdictions because of stupid patriarchial reasons, so it's probably most expedient to return that and not worry about it, but for everything else, don't even worry about returning it until and unless he files a suit.
Thank you. I will be discussing it with him tonight.
OP, you are under no obligation to do anything you don't want to do. It is up to you. When you're a child, and you were when this all happened, they invalidated feelings, they pushed things, they made you feel empty and unable to go through the emotions of losing your mom, and then they tried replacing the important person you lost. As a child, going through that, is traumatizing. Entering into adulthood, that stuff stays with you. You need a therapist to talk to, for sure, and the one you have needs to be fired asap! They are not helping you and are invalidating you as you had been before when young. You don't need any form of invalidation now. I'm going to be truthful here and my opinion is that if you want to be peaceful, it won't happen until they realize what they have done. I don't think you are in a position to speak to them yet, but they seem to be forcing themselves. You can go a route where you say, get a protection order, but I would suggest going a more peaceful route when ready. They need to be told that what they did was wrong. And if you're not going to do that, that's fine. I am just giving an opinion. It's possible they don't see what they did. It's possible they don't know your feelings well. I'm not sure. What they did was wrong and it seems that honestly even though they did thay, they are trying their best to improve the relationship, even so much as moving that close. It is smothering but also people don't do that if they don't care. I could say a heart to heart is needed, but all in due time, if you accepted such. If not, you need to get security cameras, file a protective order, but I hope things get peaceful because you weren't even allowed to grieve properly.
Everyone on this thread is sharing their personal stories and opinions. It’s more than obvious and I stated it.
a friend of mine was talking one time about their therapist who asked “Can we pray together”. My friend who is not religious at all.
like, are you just a therapist to push your religion? probably.
She sounds hella annoying. Imagine if she was into knitting and you came up and pulled away one of her needles and made her work unravel?
There is nothing wrong with caring about video games. We put time and effort into those, just like any other hobby.
I would find a girl who respects you
What is your fiancée’s planned profession? Will she eventually be making good money or will her profession generate significantly less income than you ( excluding your rentals)? Are you intending this house to be your marital home? Why is your fiancée asking for 50% ownership? If you get a prenup it will likely include her getting either cash (alimony) or equity in the house in the event of divorce.
Using myself as an example, I own the home my wife and I live in outright. I intend to always keep this house and in the event of a divorce my prenup offers my wife alimony for a period of time in lieu of ownership of the house. Unless we buy another property in which case she’ll be entitled to half the equity in the property we (I) online in in the future. I would expect a prenup for you to look similar. Since you own multiple properties it’s unlikely that you can get married with a prenup that doesn’t allot here something in the event of a divorce.
I think you should probably sit down with your fiancée and go over your expected finances both currently and in the future to find an equitable division.
That said, in my state ( and most states I believe) if you add someone to the deed for your property then in the event that something happens to you the property can pass to your spouse/partner without going through probate. It seems like that’s a good starting point for everyone’s expectations.
If you intend to marry this person then you’ll need to start thinking in term of us, rather than me, when it comes to finances in the future.
I’m also a bit unclear of the financials for buying this property. Are you parents giving you the down payment out of your inheritance, which you will pay them back for, while you are also paying the mortgage for the remainder, so in effect you are paying two loans at the same time? That seems especially complicated. I think the better option is your parents give you part of your inheritance early to cover the down payment and you cover the mortgage that remains. Then in the event that you sell this property in the future you replenish your inheritance fund from that and keep the remaining equity yourself. Alternatively, you and your wife are both on the mortgage, and you split the mortgage payment and then you pay your inheritance loan back yourself at the same time. I think the best way to approach this is splitting the mortgage with your fiancée while you cover the inheritance repayment on your own since that is intended to be your money ( and not your stbwifes). That way she can’t use the approach of you’re being given the money as an excuse to discount it.
You didn't answer their question about why did your boyfriend take your debit card
Would this be the same thing you‘d say, if the roles were reversed? Why are you blaming him for her immature actions? He has no obligation to stay with her after such an outburst. If my boyfriend did that, he‘d be an ex.
Tell AP's partner and dump yours. I know, easier said than done but staying in this relationship will bring you nothing but pain.
RUN.