I wish I could be that certain. If the ages were different, I would be thinking “Oh, is OP my kid brother's neighbor?” Because, you know, they had an affair and she had a kid and for whatever reason, no one really ever acknowledged that her kid looked A LOT like her next door neighbor …
But it’s really incredibly difficult for him to be on the other end of one of these questions. On one hand he could tell her “no” and make her feel worse. On the other, he could tell her “yes” and her insecurity would make her think he was lying. There’s no winning for anyone when these questions are asked. If she’d like for him to verbally reassure her more often, she can have an open conversation with him about it, not fish for something with questions like this.
I’ve always stuck by the saying “love is a choice, not a feeling.” 16 years with your best friend is a lot to throw away without even discussing it first.
In my current relationship, there have been plenty of times where we got in a rut or started feeling distant. All it took was a deep conversation, maybe some therapy, maybe a couple nights dedicated to rekindling that bond. In the end, we have always chosen each other.
After a certain amount of time together, anyone will grow apart. That’s just how relationships work, and it won’t be any different with anyone else. Unless there are genuine big issues and irreconcilable differences, it’s something you can talk about and possibly even work through together. It’s just a matter of whether you choose to do so or not.
Well, I don’t think I would date them anymore. Is dating is where you try people out to see if you can have a partnership with them and I certainly wouldn’t want to start the beginning of a relationship or a life with two left feet. I probably would just gradually back away and then let her go.
That's not actively searching. If she's not calling on them every three days or so, or going in to check on them, surfing the web for openings, then she isn't “actively searching”. She's doing the bare minimum to keep you off her back.
I wish I could be that certain. If the ages were different, I would be thinking “Oh, is OP my kid brother's neighbor?” Because, you know, they had an affair and she had a kid and for whatever reason, no one really ever acknowledged that her kid looked A LOT like her next door neighbor …
Appreciate the advice
But it’s really incredibly difficult for him to be on the other end of one of these questions. On one hand he could tell her “no” and make her feel worse. On the other, he could tell her “yes” and her insecurity would make her think he was lying. There’s no winning for anyone when these questions are asked. If she’d like for him to verbally reassure her more often, she can have an open conversation with him about it, not fish for something with questions like this.
I’ve always stuck by the saying “love is a choice, not a feeling.” 16 years with your best friend is a lot to throw away without even discussing it first.
In my current relationship, there have been plenty of times where we got in a rut or started feeling distant. All it took was a deep conversation, maybe some therapy, maybe a couple nights dedicated to rekindling that bond. In the end, we have always chosen each other.
After a certain amount of time together, anyone will grow apart. That’s just how relationships work, and it won’t be any different with anyone else. Unless there are genuine big issues and irreconcilable differences, it’s something you can talk about and possibly even work through together. It’s just a matter of whether you choose to do so or not.
Well, I don’t think I would date them anymore. Is dating is where you try people out to see if you can have a partnership with them and I certainly wouldn’t want to start the beginning of a relationship or a life with two left feet. I probably would just gradually back away and then let her go.
That's not actively searching. If she's not calling on them every three days or so, or going in to check on them, surfing the web for openings, then she isn't “actively searching”. She's doing the bare minimum to keep you off her back.