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Regardless of what you or he said at brunch, I wouldn't give him the gift because it's just awkward at this point. That's something you give your bf, not an ex fling you have no feelings or spark for.
Back to what he told you, I think you and him are on the same page with things fizzling out and there being no feelings, I think he was just driving that point home to make sure you knew he was 100% over it.
The fact that what he said stuck with you amd seems to bother you, also with the fact that you want to give him this nice thoughtful gift and you are writing Reddit posts about him tells me that you do still somewhat have geekings for this guy, so you should probably reflect on what this all means and either let him go and be done or do something about it.
Updateme
Does his husband know what he did?