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Your boyfriend idea of healthy just from the tone of conversation you have mentioned, sounds like he would thinks models are healthy when they aren't. For your height and weight it's within the proper ranges and a medical professional would agree, even if you carry weight in weird spots you are textbook definition of healthy weight range.
Stress causes many extreme emotions, which sounds like the case for him. Do you feel like he may feel stressed trying to meet his works needs and your needs? You could try just letting him know that you support him and if he wants to talk that you are there for him. I wouldn't say it's over, just sounds like he is overwhelmed
I agree with this course of action. Distance will help you move your own way
change that to defending cuz the ex pushed him first too
Hot to tell from just this issue, but it might be porn addiction. Look up symptoms and see if it rings any bells
Totally. BPD is at its core a disorder of misunderstanding and bad translations. Like having a language barrier forever. It's a commitment to insanity.
I stopped reading after the cheating part. Why would you want to be in a relationship with a cheater?
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Divorce is expensive. And it sucks. And if you guys have a kid between now and then, boom, my man, you are stuck in Seattle until the kid is 18 – if you want to have 50/50 of your kid.
Only on Reddit will you read comments this stupid. His reasoning for moving back is a lot stronger than hers. Closer to family, their roots, better financial situation, better place to raise family, won’t be forever poor and renting. But she’s got her friends who she most likely won’t even be speaking to over something stupid in a couple of years. And now you throw in some super irrelevant argument. If your friends are for real they’ll stick around and still communicate and see you. If they only associate with you when you’re geographically convenient are they real friends?
Also, if I read the post correctly and this is her first ever STI test??
She could’ve gotten the chlamydia from literally anyone down to her first sexual partner and could’ve potentially passed it without having symptoms.
Infections like chlamydia are often asymptomatic and that can change if your immune function slips (other illness, stress) or there’s a change in vaginal flora.
Regular STD testing is good for everyone.
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Loads of people have ADHD, that's not an excuse to scream at you until you're worried and anxious. Nor is screaming at people a symptom of it.
You shouldn't spend your relationship walking on eggshells for someone pretending their condition is the result of their bad behaviour.
You've said you have a habit if picking bad partners and you need help, then immediately indicate you're just going to avoid trigger topics instead. You're making a choice to stay again, even though you know this is going to happen again and already making excuses for him. Just at least be aware that's what your doing, so when it happens again you know it was your choice.
It was obvious, just no one wanted to make be the one who actually comments it. Thanks for taking one for the team! 😀
Tell him you’re passionate about and focused on sex. Then go get some sex from a someone who isn’t trying to change everything about you.
This is one of the reasons I tend to recommend fantasy romance novels over stuff in a modern, realistic setting. Nobody comes away from Kushiel's Dart thinking “We've never even escaped being enslaved by a barbarian warlord together. Is this relationship worth it?”
Mutual help with problems is a reasonable expectation. Both of you doing stuff to progress your lives to a place where you could support kids is a reasonable expectation. I don't think it's nuts to have a talk about budgeting or what would need to happen if you wanted to on-line together.
If you're pushing back and refusing gas money or gifts, some of the problem is on your end, work on that. I'd also suggest raising the subject of cheap dates that feel like dates. I don't have the budget to imitate even most Hallmark movies, but it's not like cooking before you get there or going out occasionally is a huge ask.
I used to have a girlfriend who asked me to move in with her after we’d known each other for at most 3 weeks. And I did.
The relationship lasted about 7 months. The first 3 months were wonderful but then things went downhill. She was an alcoholic and she started going on 2 week benders.
Yeah, I didn’t know her well enough to move in and neither does OP.
She probably would qualify for Medicaid, Medicare is for older folks, and it would definitely pay for her treatment and hospital stay. Thank you for pointing all of this out because it is spot on.
Exactly, it hurts like hell when you do everything in your power for them and they barely do anything. I hate men like that.
Stay through the hospital visit. Distance yourself. Take screenshots of what you’ve seen. When he’s better tell him he owes you your money. If you’re living with him go ahead and get your stuff out now. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Either way your outta there. If he doesn’t make it you’ve learned a valuable lesson. Also, don’t be afraid to show those screenshots to his mom. I’d do it. I wish you the best.
You don’t need the drama. Cut them out
Dude, you were dad for 15 years. Stay dad. Just remember who the real problem is here…and it's not the boy you were dad to for 15 years.
Because you’re allowing him to do that? You’re entertaining him when he’s not ignoring you. “ what exactly do you have interest in if he’s rubbish at conversation, not putting in effort and lives in misery?
We're a bunch of random people on the internet, we can't really pick your psyche apart to pin point whatever internalized sexism (not accusing you to be sexist, just that there are sexist ideas floating in society people end up subconsciously absorbing), self-esteem issues, or view on casual sex you may have. It's a difficult conversation you need to have with yourself, or maybe with the help of a professional therapist.
It's not. A home is entirely different from public. If you're uncomfortable in public, look and walk away. Where are you going when that person lives with you in your home?
When he was hot with his girlfriend I bet my left foot the teenage daughter wasn't around.
Maybe she should call his mommy, yeah. Sounds like he needs her.
Why would she do this to you (getting married)
Man that sucks
Absolutely in the realm of possible outcomes. That’s why there should be clear communication beforehand. Stuff like this is always primed to be marriage nukes if not done correctly.
I’ve met her boyfriend once and they seem like they’re sweet at least on the surface. Apparently her and her boyfriend never fight.
She’s ghosted you and is a massive coward. Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet.
Yes
You moved in together and it was 2-4 times a month? Christ. I'd have left after the first month.
I’m repaying their kindness in a way I can. The family I’m marrying into is the kindest, warmest place I’ve ever known. Seeing them go through this is harsh.
11 years in prison definitely sounds like he fucked over someone/something with money
Your father is in danger from your wife’s family. He needs to separate for his own good before your wife decides to bring in reinforcements.
And she said she’s not making those faces or sounds on purpose because she thinks that’s what you’d like?
What would be your best result without worrying about immediate strategy? What would a repaired relationship look like for you?
No you’re not. This is very weird. Something is going on between them. I’m not saying they’re necessarily doing anything physical, but your bf clearly is filling a need he has by being there that much.
I hate to say it but it sounds like your boyfriend has mentally checked out of the relationship. If he wants to spend every night with someone else… well, his feelings for you have changed.
You’re so young. I’m sorry for what you’re experiencing but you will heal and find someone who wants to spend 6-7 hours a day with YOU.
Very suspicious he kept this a secret for a year.
Where do you think they got the sliminess from?
I’m going to take a different approach then what everyone else has taken. My question is for you has be truly been diagnosed as antisocial or does he just label himself as antisocial. Because alot of people through that word around a-lot without knowing the true medical term
Yeah, he's nuts. Sorry. I would move on.
Well for most of those years we had roommates. And they were also indoor shoe people so I was super outnumbered and didn’t bother trying. Now that it’s just us I feel like I have more of a right to be assertive about how I want to on-line in my home
I.think I saw somewhere that…there was a study or analysis that shows highest rating or most visited porn is the brother sister type…I just think your bf is just one of those millions people on there. So….unless.you see him.acting weird with his siblings…this should.not be a dealbreaker …
It's not a robbery at gunpoint at a random gas station. This is directly related to his treatment of her. He violated the women he supposedly loved. He posted her on-line f*cking, without her knowledge.
Sounds like he’s waiting long enough to pull the “but I’m you’re boyfriend and you should want to help me” card
Nope. Get out.
His ego is real fragile.
You have been together 4 years, and he goes this silent over such a small thing?
Wait until you on-line together and have deeper arguments.
This is not a guy you should continue to see.
I may have briefly woken up, but then fell back asleep. I'm one of those people who has to set multiple alarms in the morning to wake up. Do you think makeup is the best option here? I mean, my eye is basically swollen shut at this point.
You have no right to say whether she has a bridal shower or not, that does not involve you. You sound like a wonderful person, maybe people just won’t even come to see you get married because I’m sure you probably have tons of friends.
Yes, because this whole post – written by her sister saying she’s lying about abuse because her ex says he’s a Great Guy Who Cares – is a clear indication that her family is a safe supportive place to go, isn’t it?
? Yes. You will. I guarantee it. You will always remember him but you'll get married any have babies one day and the pain will be gone. Fck Sam ?
Have you tried not being a weirdo? guarantee keep it up she'll make the decision for you
We didn't meet 3 days ago. We meet around 2 weeks ago on Facebook dating.
Please be aware that anything other than “yes I want to marry you, let's talk about a timeline for that” is a no.
“I'm not sure if I'm ready” is a no.
“Let's talk about this later” is a no.
“Eventually” is a no.
A man who wants to marry you will make that known and make it happen after 7 years together. If he does not proactively start the planning process with you, it's not going to happen.
Are you 26 or 17? You can't change him, and it is clear where his priorities lie. Not with you.
Just break up without making any unnecesary drama, and move on.
28F
I saw nothing wrong with his expectations. Should be a given
This reads like she has someone lined up already and just needs you to get on board by agreeing to end things so she can not feel guilty or be the bad guy here. It won't be anything on her cause you decided (gave in and gave her what she wanted) to end things and not go through with counseling. It's up to you here if you want to try and fight for your marriage but the problem is that you cannot be the only one fighting for it and actively putting in the work with the real and honest intentions of turning things around and making it work. She sleeps great cause she is already checked out and uninterested. I personally don't see things getting better or turning around but who knows, it could I guess. I would not want to be with someone who can't or won't communicate with me and be honest. Certainly not with someone who marries me knowing they don't love me as a spouse or finds me attractive anymore. That's just messed up.
Depends how long theyve been married but could be her end goal. Its 7 yrs in ks.
My girlfriend used to tell me the exact same thing. A relationship is made up of 2 (or more) people, so if he truly loves you, I'm willing to bet he would be more than happy to help you out and make a plan. I understand it can be embarrassing or uncomfortable due to your upbringing, but you should never be afraid to confront any issues between the 2 of you. Just like I'm sure you've heard a million times, communication and trust is key. Without confronting the issue(s), it most likely won't fix itself and you'll find yourself in the same place you're in now. Trust in your partner and communicate to him exactly how you feel, I'm sure he will be receptive and make a plan with you. Best of luck to you guys.