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ask her how she'd feel if the roles were reversed. bet she comes up with a bullshit answer how it's cheating when a guy does it, but because they made it a game it isn't cheating for them. tell the boyfriends, ditch the immature baggage and find someone who can function in an actual adult relationship without the high school games. don't waste your time wondering what if, she clearly has bad intentions.
Yeah…this was a dumb and mean “joke,” but it ruined the wedding for OP? If I was his wife I'd be deeply hurt to learn that his thinking she had slept with someone in high school was more important than his literal wedding.
Its really important to understand how exactly she is your best friend. Does she do anything for you? Does she show compassion and care for your life? Ask about how things are for you? Because its really weird for a best friend to uninvite someone due to tradition like this. Having a set amount of guests isnt really a tradition its an excuse.
I dont think how shes treating you is fair or nice. I think if you feel youd be asking her to change completely then you should be considering how this friendship is serving you. Is she really that good of a friend for this to be no biggie?