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I don’t mean to sound like I’m coming down nude on you but you’re wording of your post doesn’t sound like you are . Someone that’s taking accountability would’ve said I fucked up and read my girlfriend’s journal behind her back but you word it as if it action of which you had no control over . It doesn’t even sound like you have any remorse over invading her privacy . It sounds like you justify it by claiming it’s right to know what’s going on for her . It also sounds like you haven’t truly healed from past experiences in relationships . If you feel the relationship isn’t moving forward for the better maybe you should do some reflection over whether it’s best to remain in it . Maybe seek therapy and take time to heal before getting into another relationship . I know everybody suggests this and this is a classic Reddit response but as someone that’s currently in therapy I truly believe it’s a suggestion that will be of great help to you if you can afford to do so.
It’s good that thanksgiving was a success! I think he doesn’t want to rush into an intimate relationship with you?
I do think his behavior is odd because he shouldn’t have you sleep over and not cuddling with you.
You already expressed your desires to cuddle and be held. Maybe he’s still struggling to determine if you will be the relationship that works out? Having 2 previous serious relationships is nude to come back from.
I’m still holding on to the possibility of us getting together.
Don't do that. It's what's making you miserable. Move on.
At your age I thought people from high school mattered wayyy more than they really did. Sadly this goes for friends as well as girlfriends. Unless you live! in the same town all your life, you're likely to lose touch with almost everyone. But the good thing is you'll meet a lot of others. So keep that in mind. There will be other girls, you just have to trust me on this one.
Updateme!
This is heart breaking. You clearly love him dearly. But to realize that your relationship comes with an end date, is painful to realize. You have two choices. Either enjoy the time with him until he leaves or breakup now. It’s easy for strangers on Reddit to say breakup. But only you understand the situation. The choice is yours.
I mean textbook narcissist or what?
What could be the other reasons to get a nose job ? If that was a medical issue OP would have mentioned it
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Hello /u/Past-Swimming-9010,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
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request advice in real situations involving two or more people
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[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
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He’s getting what he wants without any effort or having to have a “title” stop hooking up with him.
The thing I noticed was OP doesn't mention a single thing his girlfriend likes, though. So I feel like neither of them are taking interest in each others hobbies or passions. He goes on about movies he likes or has seen. He talks about his passions. But he makes no reference to things she enjoys. Which might be a clue as to why she's not trying to be interested in the things he likes.
I had a partner once that was super into table top games like DND. I had every intention of letting him teach me how to play. Until I realized that he made no effort to ask me about the things I'm into and show interest in being included in my hobbies. I don't think he cared to know about the things I was interested in.
She wants to be on her own before moving in with me…
Ah so in one ear and out the other, huh? Nice to see he finds your genuine concerns joke-worthy
Definitely get a lawyer. Who told you that you needed to be on the loan because you live! there? The lender? The insurance company? If so you may be able to sue them for unfair practices. It's possible you were lied to because as he is terrible with money, he may have needed your to qualify for the loan.
What did he spend that money on? You? You may have liability even though you thought he was giving gifts.
A highly skilled lawyer may be able to get your name off the judgement AND lessen your soon to be ex-boyfriend's judgements.
I can see she's on by my messenger app, which I use for business purposes.
Here's an advice, be harsh.
He is a liar and a cheater. Move on.
Sounds a lot like Stockholm syndrome. Do yourself and boyfriend a favor by breaking up and getting intensive therapy. This is cruel to your boyfriend and you need to be in a better state mentally before getting into a relationship or you’ll be in a worse spot than before
I agree with everything you said but the “when it seems they like her more than they like you”. i hope in the future you take a more compassionate approach when talking to people who are obviously already hurt. thank you for your input though, I appreciate it.
At the end of the day it’s your decision on what to do but she A) cheated and B) covered it up with a false rape story. The big question is, can you still trust her?
This is gonna sound harsh but this is ridiculous. Same as women who find porn as cheating. Goodluck finding a guy who wears horse blinders. That said he isn't sorry but he doesn't wanna lose you over it. He will just keep more stuff from you in the future. Id say its over.
Given you have a child… postpone the marriage, get some distance from this man, get into individual counseling, figure out why you are with someone you're not overly sexually attracted to (even in the early honeymoon stage) and how you can set healthy boundaries for yourself also in the bedroom.
I never said i agreed with it??
Some people give their loyalty to the truth.
An honest person understands that.. so I would count this sibling-ship over. There seems to be no danger of you ever understanding.
Whoa. I don’t think you realize that you are actively keeping this drama alive by remaining friends with Bob and Sarah. They can point to that fact to support the shit they’re spewing against your fiancé. “Obviously he knows we’re right because otherwise we wouldn’t be in the wedding!” I wouldn’t be surprised if they have already told other people they expect you to get divorced. You need to stand up for your fiancé and YOUR FUTURE and put your foot down by uninviting them to the wedding. They’ll only drag you down. Cut them loose!!
Do you have no scars? How can you not tell. He’s just a dumbass. And a judgmental ass
The bigger problem is him running to his mom all the time.
By what you've described it's already a problem. So the question is not when is it problematic it's how are you going to solve it. What steps are you taking to reduce your porn use?
Why does all of this bother you and WHY is it so important for you to learn from her?
If you love her then tell her. She doesn't deserve deciept as if you didn't do what she basically prophesied into fruition by her constant worry and questions.
Tell her or break up. Simple as that.
People are capable, I had my last break up with me a couple years ago because he felt unable to be consistent and he felt insecure, Even after i reassured him. Being consistent in a relationship is easy, Being romantic every day ofc thats not realistic.
I’m going to go against the grain here and say I don’t think you’re being silly.
I get the impression there’s some other reasons for your annoyance over the choice he’s made here. And it also seems that you had been quite clear on your feelings in this regard, and he still made his choice anyway.
I wouldn’t travel with my partner and a group of friends either.
If you feel this strongly about it – then do what makes you happy. It sounds like this relationship probably isn’t going to last anyway, and it would be a shame to change something that’s important to you for a boyfriend. Take the advice of someone a fair bit older than you – always online YOUR best life.
Thank you, I think I needed to hear that and have some grounding here!
You talk about your boyfriend like he’s just a friend. Do the guy a favor and break up with him
Take a look at the timeline of when he got cold to you, was it because his daughter likes you or was it because you announced you are moving out? How easy is it to find a 24/7 home health aid where you are located in the mountains? Probably very hot right? His mom doesn't want to move into a facility so he's sleeping with you and letting you online rent free so you feel obligated to help.
They’ll have a baby to fix the relationship.
I don’t want to “talk to” my ex…the reason she isn’t blocked is because she had me blocked so I didn’t need to. Also didn’t expect to be unblocked after 7 months.
And my girlfriend never mentioned I block her, she basically said if you just don’t respond she will feel embarrassed and not reach out again. That’s why I created this post.
Almost everybody has mentioned to block her and I too think that’s the best idea. Thank you (and everybody else) for your input!!!
try having a conversation about your sex life when you aren’t otherwise preparing to engage in sex. Ask about her satisfaction and if there is anything on her mind about it.
Or you could try writing it down for her. Or even finding a porn video or story that turns you on and send it to her.
I’m also in an f/f relationship and my partner is similar to you in that they have a kink that theyre ashamed of—it doesnt really match their gender presentation and they have religious trauma especially surrounding sex. It probably took us a dozen conversations to get to a point where they could comfortably tell me what they wanted in this regard. Be patient with yourself!
I hope this is the case, a bunch of people on here when 0-60 on him pretty fast