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I forgot to add that my ‘mom’ told me a month ago that she knows my ‘father’ is verbally and emotionally abusive but chooses to stay because “it could be worse and I love him”. But I’m the problem child….
I would be livid and I’m fired up just reading this. That’s money that could have been used on you and your kids. It doesn’t feel like that was all that happened in that hour. I personally wouldn’t be able to ever trust him again.
Get in to talk this stuff out with a counselor for a while. You're still processing, and you need an environment conducive to you working towards that.
Well the advice would be to stop letting this guy flirt with you and then going home and flicking your bean thinking about it.
Yup!
I don't know if anyone noticed but she's 40 years old. Her fertile window is ending very soon. That's probably why she is adamant now. Also, she's been his girlfriend for 8 years…what is that about? Its not like you married her. That's the thing about dating, there's nothing truly holding you together besides saying “we're dating.”
I understand her point about resenting you. Her window is closing and you're not really on the same page about another child. She can stay and resent you, or leave and have the second child. Sounds like you're content and she's not. Maybe you're no longer compatible..
This is the sad thing about old independent dudes like this: he’s not even going to get that he did anything wrong. What’s his is his to dispense and withdraw however he wants.
How in the world do we know what he meant? We're not in this dude's head.
Ask him wtf is going on. Tell him you're getting weird vibes like he wants you to be with his wife or something. Then go from there.
If you mean usmle, I wouldn’t agree that they’re easy as a decent mark is needed to match into anything good anywhere good. Just a low pass is no use at all.
Do you not see the irony in this comment? Lol
At first, things were so great between us. She told me that I was perfect for her after she had been hurt by her last boyfriend.
But after months passed, she started saying more hurtful things and started comparing me to him, I’m not sure why.
You came to Reddit because you thought you were get support in this irrational bullshit. Now you’re angry people are (appropriately) reminding you this is NONE of your business and a stupid thing to care/get worked up about.
Updateme!
I would tell him that you can’t make any promises as to what is going to happen to your body size in the future and therefore you need to end the relationship. He’s allowed to have his preferences, and if a larger body is a dealbreaker for him, you need to make decisions based on that. You may decide that you don’t want to online your life in fear of gaining 20 pounds and having him no longer interested in you.
You can’t change how he feels about body size. Now that you have this information though, you have to decide how you’re going to react to it.
Agreed. But if he’s been dismissive of her pain before, that’s confirmation of Kate’s story.
One child is probably all you will end up getting. Granted she might end up loving your child, or she might end up not loving it and resenting you.
If having loving family with multiple children, I don't think she will give it to you.
Thank you, this is something I can try. It would have been easier years ago, but after my dad had his heart attacks, he’s “snapped” if you will.. he’s unpredictable and difficult to rely on emotionally. I was explaining to him yesterday in the car about some serious health issues I’m having that often result in cervical cancer, and how afraid I am, and he cut me off to point out a homeless camp on the side of the highway. Thanks to Biden of course. No contact would be too naked for me, but distance I can do if I need to.
I think the things you are planning are lovely.
Is my F20 relationship with my boyfriend M20 healthy ?
If you even have to ask that, then its likely not.
But I will read the rest of your post.
Okay… So, I am going to level with you. Very seldom do people get their first relationship right.
Why?
Because people haven't learnt how to function in a relationship.
My first relationships, I'll admit… I thought the world of them, but looking back… toxic AF.
30s now, with my fiancé. Irreplaceable and a heavy effort to be healthy as possible.
I learnt this about my mid 20s… how couples handle their conflicts, is the real test of a relationship.
You a relationship that can deal with those heightened emotions whilst still acting out of love. If your partner is hurtful in those moments, there needs to be more control.
Its true.. Every couple with likely have a fight at a point… but how handle those situations is the real test…
And given the context of your post… I think it would be best if you two accept the toxicity levels are high and it may be better if you two went your seperate ways and grew independent of each other.
So, in conclusion… No, I don't think your relationship is healthy, not even in the slightest.
Talk about burying the lede. Why are you staying with this man??
It’s your choice to have a tattoo if you want to.
It’s his choice to never touch you again if he finds tattoos hideously ugly, and to divorce you if the relationship breaks down over this.
It’s up to you. Is it worth the risk?
Here’s the thing. It’s easily explained away. You need to follow your gut. Dad is cheating. Mom knows it even if she can’t confirm it. He’s, at the very least, looking elsewhere. I’m really sorry this is happening. What I would do is talk to my dad. But that’s me.
This shit is getting ridiculous. She’s almost 22. This infantilizing of adults in this country is just soo dumb.
Wait. He can't commit as a bf, but he'll jump straight to marriage?
That aside, why does his mom being a cheater mean he'll cheat?
If he’s still getting a boner, he’s probably still attracted to you. But the other stuff seems bad. Why are you more concerned about coming off as needy than your own needs
God forbid women have standards. That’s probably how I coasted through dating in my 20s, women I dated all had 0 standards for men and so anything I did impressed them!