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Its just u lost feelings and trust for him… everythings fine. U need to take ur time . Advice dont hold it in u need someone to vent out to . I know the feel.
What does your wife have to say about John and the photographer? They’re her friends after all?
I sincerely hope John is no longer in the picture. He sounds like he doesn’t have any respect for you, either as a person or as the man his friend chose to spend her life with. What a cruel thing to do!
Doing a repeat ceremony sounds like a great idea, provided he isn’t invited. But before doing that you need to get a handle on this and learn how to put it out of your mind. I don’t know what that would take – therapy, meditation, psychedelics – but the last thing you want is have your repeat ceremony and be unable to take your mind off the fact that the reason you’re there is because of John.