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What's the bet he cheats again and uses his grandmother as an excuse because he was 'so sad'
It’s not your child. She can do what she wants
It’s…….. your not even in a relationship with this person…… kind of creepy if you ask me.
With that context, this feels unhinged.
i would ditch his ass. he sounds like a numb nuts.
I’m happy to hear that mindset. You deserve to be with someone who can share in aligned goals.
My husband and I have been married for 25 years and not once has he ever said anything like what your bf said. We've had our ups and downs.
Your bf thinks he can do better, so let him try. Then you will be free to find a man who actually loves, respects, cares about you and won't ever say anything like that.
You say “hello” and keep moving
I understand. Thank you for your honesty and advice. It helped.
Get a new man. You're sexually incompatible.
You can't make people feel like you want them to. If they don't like your boyfriend that's their prerogative. It's a shame, but it seems they have their reasons. Ultimately you are completely right, you need to choose what you want to do. It all comes down to what's more important to you, because it would appear you can't have everything. Your call OP…
I can imagine in some social circles this type of gift would be absolutely fine. And your friend might be ok. Though I’d say based on averages, probably not.
How your friend feels is one issue.
Your husband not communicating the gift to you beforehand is a separate issue. How you feel about this is valid, regardless of anyone else. You need to make your feelings clear about this.
Look dont say anything Dont blow ure cover, let them in the ignorance but Keep close eye on them Snoop
Yep she should’ve
Not before they sell OP's kidney on the black market
A man's gotta get his diddly diddly done somehow.
So she found another father figure?
10 is not elderly for a cat
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This is textbook financial abuse. I'm sorry. You deserve at least some semblance of financial autonomy. Just because hes the one with a job, doesn't make this any less of a partnership. He is placing himself above you, and that's no way to live!.
This is a very sheltered mindset. Drugs are everywhere in the world you live! in, and things like tobacco, alcohol, and opioid prescriptions are far more dangerous to far more people than taking properly-tested MDMA.
It isn't “ridiculous stuff”, it's the entire scale of human history – before we were even growing crops, we were taking psychoactive substances. And it isn't “normalized” – drug usage has gone down, especially in vulnerable populations like teens, for nearly 30 years, with the exception of a spike in tobacco usage and the legal over-prescribing of opioids (until recently).
No, she made the choice to immediately remove herself from the situation and focus on your marriage. YOU are the only one trying to force her into an affair
I was 15 when he was 17. And 16 when he was 18. His birthday just passed and mine is in a couple months.
You might be right. I think there is some self esteem issues I need to resolve….there’s really no reason for me to be this way based on the current state of my life right now…i think it’s from my childhood and i just suppressed it and used attention from girls as a way to validate myself…
At 19 he essentially is a child. You both are.
I can't imagine moving in with someone after 7 months, let alone into their parent's house. It sounds like you didn't know each other all that well before deciding to play house and now it just sucks.
I suggest talking about it. You'll probably realize it's not meant to be and move on.
I totally get this. My husband is socially awkward so he doesn't really connect with many people, and I can mesh with pretty much anyone. So socializing because a source of anxiety for me when were younger and doing things with other couple's. It got to the point where I was paranoid that people only reluctantly invited him or didn't invite us to anything at all. This is very hot in a religious based community where being invited to social activities and functions is a sign of inclusion.
It sounds like she's projecting. Her relationship with her age gap boyfriend/fiance might not be what she expected and so she is lashing out at someone and you were the easiest target.
My husband was 26 when we met. He had a similar sentiment. He was finding that everyone live! was either divorced with kids(which he wasn't interested in), looking to have an affair/poly/other type situation(which he wasn't interested in), or much younger. He was starting to have a really hard time with people his own age. He started being open to the idea of dating younger and we met when I was 22. He had had a couple of bad experiences with younger girls as some people that age are just in a very different place in life, but I was always pretty mature for my age so it worked out! At 26, you might have a slightly harder time if you are more absolutely dead set on only dating your own age, but it sounds like you are open a little bit and even if you aren't you will find someone eventually that is in the same boat you are.
It happened before us. She just lied about them when I asked in the first place. I think I’m deeping them too much
I have a feeling your wife meant flings when she suggested an open marriage (“get your needs taken care is”) and not that you actually start dating people; if this becomes a regular thing, you need to have a conversation at least with your FwB to explain that you’re strictly that— friends with benefits.
If it's getting upvoted, you may not be on the right side.
Listen Nat is family period. Wether she is his “sister” or ex lover it doesn’t matter, she is part of his family and has been for over a decade, his mother sees her as a daughter and maybe wants her as more. In any case she will STAY as part of that family and that is something you would have had to deal with grace and in silence forever.
As for your bf yeah, Nat means a lot to him, you DID separate them and manipulated him into pushing her away. BUT he was on it too, until Nat needed him, so he shouldn’t blame you.
Sincerely OP step away, your bf and his family are meshed together with her and it doesn’t seem like there is an end in sight. If he ever marries someone else, it will have to be someone that befriends Nat and tolerates sharing her husband and his attention and devotion with Nat in the future, and you are not that person.
He’s had this problem for years and it was much worse when he was younger.
if you have access, i highly suggest marital counseling. this sort of dynamic tends to get worse, not better, unless its addressed appropriately. He doesnt have to go NC with his mom but you are his partner for life (ideally) and he should take how hurtful she is towards you more seriously. I cant imagine just ignoring one of my parents talking such reckless shit to my spouse, regardless of their health history.
Normally, I would Said “let's talk in private” and ” go talk with a psy in a familial planning center”.
But if you talk here is because the other option are either out of reach or that you already tried it. Moreover, a public answer to a public question is usefull for the public.
So.
Abortion is always a drama. You don't do it because you want. You do it because having a child will wreck your life and probably the life of your children present and future. I have a work in this domain. I have saw a lot of women and some men in the same turmoil than yours. The best answer to that dilemma I heard in all those years is ” I want a child but not now. I want it by choice, not by chance”.
The decision you and your wife have to take now is to distinguish between what is bad and what is worst. Be conscious that the Tibetan that pull baby in ice water and people all over the world who sold some children to save the others are in the same case.
Staying with your gf is she do or if she doesn't is part of the ” my body, my choice” axiom, for you as for her.
A psychological reality of the human condition is that a thing exists when you believe it exist. Complotism is a good example. But it apply to baby. A child exists when you think it does. Sometimes, a woman doesn't believe she is pregnant, that there is a child., sometimes even after the birth. It is the other side of the same spectrum.
What I am telling here is that your feeling are legit and normal. It is how humanity survived. But it doesn't change anything to your situation. It is a time of sacrifice. You cannot have the butter and keep the money of the butter. And we don't need anymore to have a child to throw to predators while we fly away.
Here is my advice, the only advice worth of the electricity of this webpage : Be on the side of your partner. Because if you are not, you won't be the father of any of her children anyway.
Op it’s okay to have conflicting emotions about it, and you should openly communicate with her all your feelings, and ask her to do the same. It may not change your decision but it would suck to get an abortion if you’re both secretly wanting to have it. Don’t go into the convo with any expectations about what she’ll say or how she’ll feel, just be honest with each other. And also, definitely see a therapist, whatever you decide it’s gonna be tough for different reasons.
You literally said in your post you were debating whether to like him or not based on his height
It isn’t mentioned here but what’s the income disparity? How much do you make Bs. His salary (or hourly wage per year)?
You sure? I wouldn't bet on it
There have been multiple postings of the invite of a step dad to walk daughter down the aisle has severely offended bio dad to the point of harming relationship with daughter.
In those cases however step dad had affair with ex so just a scenario. Not something to worry about in the short term.
Move out that's how.
She will eventually leave you.
Your ex is much too much entangle in your lives. She’s not going anywhere but she’s just not in your lives because of your son only. you’re too close to your ex. You know how your gf feels but you like too much having this relationship with your ex than listening to your gf.
Total BS he's feeding you.
“I’m a man it’s going to happen sometimes.” So, this is his get out of jail card if he's ever caught cheating. Either that, or he's gonna blame you for him cheating.
Perfect, yeah, right
Don’t make yourself smaller for someone else, good for you, making changes for a happier life.
You can care deeply for someone and not be with them. Not every relationship is destined for greatness. Maybe you were only supposed to go this far all along.
Oh girl cmon where are your standards?! It’s been 3 dates and you’re swooning over his words but choosing to ignore his actions. Why? How does that benefit you at all?
You see that he is constantly on his phone and doesn’t pay attention to you. What about you exactly is he fantasizing about because I’m failing to see how he could know you at all when he isn’t even paying attention to you. Are you so easily swayed by pretty words that you’re willing to ignore the glaring red flag is he waving in front of your face? HE is the one too distracted to see around him, not you. Don’t blind yourself by your feelings so much that you actively choose to ignore what is right in front of your face.
Please do not tie yourself for life to a man you barely know. There are multiple concerning factors here, but ultimately the biggest one is that a child is a lifelong commitment and this dude is more or less a stranger to you. It would be extremely irresponsible to bring a child into this situation. Go get a consultation at Planned Parenthood and they can help you make an informed choice.
I’m angry over a bunch of people who are acting like she is upset over nothing when she points out:
She got upset so he started looking for other women who look like frogs? She didn’t immediately accept his apology so—instead of being contrite—he turned it around on her and blamed her for being upset at all Earlier, he’d said she was “pretty enough” to fuck? Like he’s doing her a favor??? And finally, she said she has to hold back on her genuine feelings of being upset because he will get mad at her for “being sensitive”.
I’m upset that y’all are making excuses for someone exhibiting signs of abuse because you’re wrapped up over your feelings about frogs, FFS.
^ ding ding ding
Agreed! This is like any other red flag. If someone doesn't have the following, it isn't great:
-some healthy nutrition/physical health habits -good financial habits (regales of income) -an ability to grow on a personal level/ address mental health -healthy and respectful relationships with family/ friends -ability to empathize with strangers/ people from other walks off life
… and probably a few more that I can't think of right now… I'm not interested. These are going to be major issues! I'm single, BTW. Lmao
I did. He said he would, but then we went LD and he was meant to come see me, but then cancelled and started panning to go on this holiday with his friends instead.
He invited me after doing all that, so it’s not like.. idk, I don’t know how to explain it. All that isn’t really the issue though, I’m just more like.. I just want to go with someone who hasn’t been, and I’m happy to do that but my bf is sad and I don’t know if i’m just so set in my ways that it’s unfair
I'm going to suggest you either ask family for help a few times a week or get a cleaner to come by 2-4 times a month (this is more for you than her ask the cleaner to do the litter box it will be worth it). Therapy would be great.
Doing things together on a regular basis nurtures relationships. My husband and I still go out and June is our 19th anniversary. We have at least one date night every week and take several trips a year. Companionship is important.
I think your message is wonderful! It sounds like you're thoughtful and a planner and that you're establishing boundaries for your growing family. Unfortunately it sounds like your in laws might lean a little more on the selfish side, wanting you to come to them, and maybe they don't care to look that far ahead in their schedules. Don't stress yourself trying to get them to plan. If they can't, and you don't see them this year, that's on them. They may try to paint you in a negative way to other family members, so you have to decide if that's important to you and how you and SO want to handle any potential “repercussions.” But overall, it sounds like you're doing what's best for you and your family and that's the most important!
I know thats what i have to do,im noticing every time i pull away she finds a way to bring me back somehow
well, it's the fear of germs for me. Maybe those stress balls people squeeze or a session of dish breaking…they have places where people work with a therapist and let it go.
A lot of guys will stay in a relationship they have no intentions of taking to the next level because of something you may have said or did, and you would never even know.
He likely decided long ago he wasn't going to.
He stays though because he doesn't have or he believes it would be difficult to get someone else.
that’s not the point lol. but i’ll let you have it. it’s not about the food. are you in a relationship ? if so do you do nice gestures for your partner? when they are stressed out do you do anything to try to alleviate the stress? you can fix things but you can put a smile on their face by getting them something they like.
And what does he do when you say no? No to paying his bills. No to buying him smokes. No to paying off his loans.
Yea that isn’t great