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Can you fit a dishwasher in the kitchen? If that's not an option, I'd go tuna sandwiches on a paper towel/plate for dinner every fucking night until he cracks.
Or – cook your own meals/wash your own dishes. Or – learn to let him do the dishes 'his way'.
He's doing it on purpose now and you know it.
Stopping texting as a result of a fight
I don't always do this, barely done it twice in like 4 months. I try talking it out. I agree it is wrong.
as the only reason given
I was on my way to work and had to keep it short That's why I didn't write much about it.
respecting her “No”. The last point was helpful, I understand she is not into me but thats what I have been trying she says we are a date but won't ever say 'No', if she said no I would have already given up, I don't want to cause any trouble. But from all the comments I've got its pretty clear she doesn't want me the way I want her. I couldn't really identify this on my own thank you for your time, I'll walk away and try to work on myself.
English isn't my first language pardon me.
He’s not being controlling. You are not adhering to his reasonable boundaries
First, no one can be the perfect partner, so don’t expect yourself to be. You (or anyone else) accepts boundaries or even flaws of their partners and that’s just what dating is: accepting the good and bad that makes the person.
Second, the only way to get what you want is to ask for it. If you expect someone to notice hints or read your mind you will just be disappointed and resentful, and this is something I have a lot of trouble with too.
Third, you can’t change anyone. You can only react to who they are, and that is defined by their actions.
So I would tell her your concerns as nicely as possible, and express how it is making you feel, and then based on her reaction you will be able to determine how she feels.
If she reacts by becoming offended, then she probably doesn’t care about you as much as you care about her. If she is apologetic, then she probably just doesn’t realize the stress it is putting on you and/or is just terrible with money and has a “don’t think about it” approach like many people.
Girl read what you wrote. About how he makes you feel. What’s your advice to yourself
“I’m coming to you as woman”
Setting aside your parents for a moment, where do YOU want to spend the rest of your days?
She promised it will never happen again (hasn't happened since)
That is a really low bar to set. It has been 1 month that she forced herself not to hit you.
Speak to a lawyer. Find out what options there are.
Damian presented me with his autographed book as a Christmas gift.
hahahahahahahahah
Anyway, obviously *something* happened. Either his wife found out, the university found out, or he just realized what a dirty old creep he was being, and he stepped back.
No, do not confront him or be frank. Just give your head a shake, realize this was not love, move on, and finish your degree.
Sounds like you are over his age limit. He is selfish. You should sleep in a different room, see if it helps and then make an exit plan.
No. He’s is trying to use you for free labor. He wants his children at his wedding so he needs to figure onto their care. Whether it be a family member pr he hired a baby sitter. You are no longer married to him so you do not have to do the labor of figuring out coverage for his events. He cannot assign tasks to you like you his unpaid secretary. That is between him and his fiancé. Establish boundaries now or your ex and his new wife will steam roll you every chance they get.
The fuck?
I paid for my wedding. It was small and easy to manage financially 🙂
I paid for my wedding. It was small and easy to manage financially 🙂
It’s not unreasonable for him to want a long term partner with a job. A 29 year old man is probably very wise for recognizing the financial hardship awaiting him by having a long term relationship with you, especially with you having a child.
Cheating on you is wrong.
If one viable option is to get a job (as he requested) THEN leave him, then why are you staying?
My advice is to move on. If you’re asking for advice based on this post alone then go, you seem to both be using each other.
Yep, my bf was hard when i first met him, but now i see him sitting on the end of the bed like a fucking goblin eating cheese off the block in his boxers and i think, damn, that's the sexiest man I've ever seen.
I've fallen more and more in love with him and his body each day. And every time i see a physical “flaw” it just reminds me of how his body is the vessel carrying his mind, and each bump, scar, dent, they tell the story of who he was and who he will be, they tell me about his wellbeing, his falls and climbs, and i love each and every “flaw” because theyre part of him.
Like the thing where you fix pottery with gold, the flaws make it better.
You need to make a timeline and plan of how long you’re going to support your sister for. Try to help her get on track for a better job. Maybe some sort of admin work that pays better and has decent benefits. Also help her get child support payments from him. Your girlfriend is right that this puts your own life back. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
“Scrape goat.”
dead.
I envisioned a goat wife using her hooves to scrape dishes while huffing and puffing about her useless goat husband. LMAO
I'm perhaps out of touch, but it's shocking to me the positions that reddit takes on things.
Have small breasts? You go girl! Some guys like them!
Have a small dick? NO ONE MUST EVER ACKNOWLEDGE IT EVER, AND IF THEY DO, YOU NEED TO DUMP THEM!
As I said, OP needs to get over himself and just own it. Quit trying to gaslight his GF into living the farce that he has a massive dick when he clearly doesn't.
How about a foursome? With another couple. Then there is someone for her too. Otherwise this is just all about you.
He sounds like such a gentleman…
Look, a house is a major investment. If he's willing to buy a house, he should absolutely buy one that he is comfortable buying.
It would be lose/lose if he buys a cheaper house he doesn't like just to make it more affordable for you. That house may have a lot of problems, and he'll blame you for making him buy it. It may also have terrible resale, and there might be a major loss when reselling it.
So if he has the finances right now to buy a 300K house, then let him buy it entirely with his finances, where the mortgage is in his name!
You can then pay him some reasonable amount for rent and half of the utilities. The amount of rent you pay won't be even close to half of the mortgage, but that doesn't matter because he'll still 100% own the house. If he sells it, then any profit he gets is his. But the debt is also his to deal with. And if you ever break up, it's easy to walk away, because it's his house.
It's important to remember that a house isn't simply a bill but it's an investment.
If you are only making 24K right now, I do not recommend taking on this kind of debt.
The 50/50 thing is such a stupid idea honestly, if he makes a lot more money than you. Relationships are not supposed to be about money.
Alright so then what’s the plan here? What’s the solution?
People are saying this is a great defense against men but it really isn't. Yes if you have been cornered say anything you need to, to get out, but that is usually “i have a boyfriend”.
This sets a boundary – that she has said no. Accepting the number is accepting the behaviour. If she sees him again he'll ask – why didn't you call?
Any man who would take the message of not being called would also take the message of her being engaged so im not sure what the risk mitigation is here.
The idea that its so dangerous at the gym you need to accept random hard gym guys numbers or they might murder you there seems unrealistic.
Out of all the lies you could be telling this is a pretty tame one.
It's tame, sure, because it has no real effect on anything. But it's also a tremendously stupid lie. That would be my bigger concern.
Do you feel disrespected or cheated on?
She cheated on you with a random guy while on vacation? It doesn’t get much worse than that. Leave her. At least if it was a recent ex it might be more explainable, but if she’s willing to just give it up for randoms then you don’t got any loyalty from her
Honestly I have a lot of female friends who say things like this to their platonic straight female friends and definitely also talk like that with their platonic gay male friends. It's not my style in general and I don't really get it, but I think it's a kind of joking thing that people feel comfortable to do with people who they feel safe with and know are not romantically interested in them.
Dude she already knows who she wants to fuck.
Nah don’t watch that stuff
My advice is to leave it. She doesn't want to date you. That's her choice.
You're not going to change this thing about you, and it'd be wrong to try to persuade her that she should ignore it.
Me and my girlfriend take turns cooking and thought: Wouldn't it be nice if the other person would do the dishes afterwards? The answer was: No! I clean the kitchen while I cook, so it looks kind of okay afterwards. My gf leaves the kitchen like a battlefield.
This was really annoying until I introduced the responsibility principle: The person who cooks is also responsible for cleaning the kitchen. Sure, you have to do two chores in one day, but it's way less frustrating than having to clean someone else's mess. I am convinced that this agreement has single-handedly saved our relationship.
I said that he's not an addict but I would be a little concerned if my partner couldn't get himself off solo without porn.
Let him know it’s certainly single person behavior because effective immediately you’re single. You’re 21. You’re too young to not online your life and travel! If he’s butt hurt over it, he’s not the guy for you. The right/a good one would support and be excited for your upcoming trip. Please don’t cancel it for this dude. Once he knows you will do this (though if I had to guess it probably isn’t the first red flag) the control and demands will only increase. I hope you have a great time!
I did, I talked with my mom and told her that I've gone past the breaking point.
She understands and fully supports my decision
Anyone else read “microcheating” and expect some sex explanation of him having sex with someone else, but with “just the tip”?
It's more so narcissistic behavior, but narcissism isn't exclusive to psychopathy. Narcissists can feel empathy and traditional emotional feelings, they'll just put themselves over everyone else, and the outcomes will always be destructive to everyone else involved. Psychopaths are born with the inability to feel traditional emotions or remorse, and may exhibit self-serving and destructive behavior if they develop an interest in harming other people for entertainment, but they may not always be violent or aggressive to others. I completely agree that OP's behavior was manipulative and destructive though, and that they need therapy in order to understand why their behavior was wrong.
I'm actually shocked, 4 month relationship and he's already controlling and possessive? That's a red flag right there. Lets say if his account of the night is correct, why didn't he put her to bed (per OP comments they was at home drinking, well his house i think?) So if she was so blankout drunk, he could have taken steps to protect her. Yes we are responsible for our own drinking and setting limits but, I don't believe his version of events
I don't think you fully comprehend how an autistic brain work. I will not engage further with this.