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I think it’s better to cut all of your communication with Ben, then to tell your husband to do anything. Are you in shared groups? You can leave them. Does he come to your house? Say you don’t want him there, your husband and him can go hangout elsewhere. You can also tell them why. There’s no reason you should have to be exposed to that.
Controlling what your husband does, not really a great idea and not enforceable. I get what you mean thoigh— I would lose respect for any person that is friends with Ben. That would include if it was my husband.
Maybe, removing yourself from the situation will help let your husband know just how much of a dealbreaker it is for you to be around Ben
i am a man who shower every morning for at least 40 years. i do it for psychological reasons. i feel nervous when i don't. it ease my mind but it cause problem to my feet (the so said athlete's feet). the rest of my family shower once or two a week. and it is enough.
the only reasons i see to shower every time you go to bed are : 1) you are in line of work where you get stinky, sticky or greasy.
2) you make love every night.
Bingo. This is my attitude exactly.
Maybe I have different values but if someone wanted closure/more closure or just catch up I would do it.
I guess the message is clear, she doesn't want to keep in touch so I should delete her from everything.
You each go to your friends’ weddings. How is this a question?
She could have started the whole situation. Are you planning to be still friends with her?
My point was more that any sort of “shared custody” agreement makes it harder to move on – and as others have pointed out, would also be stressful for the cat. I dunno who should necessarily keep the cat without more info. Who bought (or found – cats do have a tendency to just kinda show up lol) the cat, who is the cat more bonded to, who is the primary caretaker of the cat. All things to consider.