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His “conversations” get quite deep. Not as deep as his dick.
The only time I have heard of someone “pulling this knife” is to avoid
having a shitty experience with a sloppy drunk.Its commonly
a eupemistic way of putting off someone you don't want to
offend. Don't make a big deal about it, but maybe check yourself. FWIW.
I agree. It was a deal breaker in my relationship as well. I’m also entirely monogamous and my partner at the time who was long distance because of work mentioned that he would be open to trying an open relationship while we were distant. I never felt the same about him after he mentioned that. He tried to take it back at one point but I realized very quickly we had different values even when I thought they were shared. It wrecked my world completely during the time for like a week and then I got over it. Life’s to short to be sad about people who don’t really want you
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Can you cheat in a poly relationship? I don’t understand
You are allowed to have time to yourself. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I would just Enjoy Christmas then talk to him about slowing down a bit and your need for some time alone sometimes.
Agreed, it'll be numerous maxed out cards & spending everything he makes. Not someone one would want to have a family with
That's great for you. In mu past relationship, it hasn't mattered to me, because I always felt secure in their love for me in other ways – he told me, he complimented me, etc. My current bf does not. He was going to propose before even telling me he loved me. He had stopped seeing other girls, but never told me. So yes, I'm s bit insecure in this relationship, and I wanr ONE fucking moment to hear him express how much he loves me and know he did it because he wanted to and not because I “made” him by doing it first, and somehow thatmakes me the bad guy? Then yeah, I guess I'm incredibly shallow and immature for wanting that expression of love.
You guys need to set up some kind of system that works for you. If there’s one person in the relationship that makes significantly more than the other, some people like to do a ratio system for big bills like rent/mortgage. For example, if you make 40% of your husband’s salary, then you would pay 40% of the mortgage and he would pay the other 60%. You could also set up a bank account that you both deposit money into that goes towards paying bills and expenses for your child. I understand you’re just working part time, so you shouldn’t have to pay for so much that you have literally no money leftover for savings or anything else. But I do think you guys need to have tough conversations about expectations and plans for the future when it comes to money.
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My dad would say, “if you thought you liked that guy, wait until the next guy. You’re going to like him so much more.”
Is there a chore he does for the family that he doesn’t enjoy, but does it out of necessity? Perhaps you could post out to him that he effectively went “hey, that chore you do for all of us including me? Here’s a tool so you can do it more for me.”
It’d be like… if his chore was taking the garbage bins out, you making his present better garbage bin bags or a wheel oil that is specifically and exclusively for garbage bin wheels.
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I would have a biiiiig sit down with him. To get to the bottom of why he is feeling the way he is feeling. (I would also go through his phone but I can’t advice you to be as toxic as me hahah)
That's because narcissists minimize everything that they do and like to flip the script. Next up, him trying to project some shit onto OP to deflect so that she'll shut up about it and he can make an effort to be more stealthy next time
So they all sit around and shit-talk all the other family members!?!? That's pretty high-school. What do they say about you when you're not there?
I'm with you, I'd have left the room, too. Not sure I'd have had the nads to say it like you did, but there's no mistaking that you think they're acting like ridiculous old gossips and don't want to get sucked into that game. Good for you.
You may, however, want to privately apologize to the gf and say you were exhausted and didn't use the most tactful words. But next time it happens you'll just leave the room.
You need to leave. There is no redeeming quality about her. Punching walls WILL turn into punching you. You deserve to feel safe, physically and emotionally.
Red flag and dude sounds like a weirdo.
It sounds like concussion, which can get worse even a couple of weeks after the accident. It's basically a brain injury and it can take a while to recover. You're not responsible for what happened, but if he hasn't seen a doctor recently he needs to see one.
Dump him, he's a piece of shit BUT I would like to know why you lasted this long in this relationship. That was so stupid of you not to break with him when he treated you like shit for the first time. You thought ' I can change him ” or something ?
Therapy for you to help yourself get grounded and then decide what to do.
Thank you !!!
I believe that OP put most of the money that he inherited into a college fund for his daughter, not the money that his son inherited.
My ex best friend told me “You must love pedos” because she thought I voted for Biden. I am in no way political so that was really confusing. Then she called me all kinds of other names and told me I’m selfish. Just weird shit that made no sense. She could be jealous of you and it’s coming out sideways, or she’s showing off in front of her boyfriend? Either way, I never had any desire to work things out with her and we were friends for eighteen years
They were together for 2 years; he failed to mention it to you. She went from him to his best friend; she broke his heart, and the breakup was bad, but his best friend, knowing it was a bad breakup, still jumped on her. Now all of them are close friends, and you are the last to know? VERY STRANGE FRIENDSHIP.
“but he’s always talking about how fun and beautiful she is”
Your boyfriend is still not over her, and she is still all over him.
If I were you, I would make sure he had no contact with her. I would tell him not to hang out with this specific friend; he can have guys' time. But not on a double date, because you are not comfortable being around her and you are disrespected by her. If he can't do that, you will leave, because this girl will always be around, and it's only a matter of time before they find their time for reminiscing about the past.
Yeah I get that as well. But for me, I would have preferred for him to follow up just one more time. Because of how awkward the situation was, she probably did want to go out with him, but was too shy about it and now will think he won’t ask her again and probably lost her chance. Again, this is my mindset. I do agree he should have ASKED her instead of assuming she wanted to go for coffee. Like I said I have social anxiety and I’m thinking with that mindset. My husband did follow up with me the very next day through a text and even mentioned he was sorry if he somehow embarrassed me. That’s when I told him that I was just taken off guard and have social anxiety.
If he was nice he would do his part around the house. He sounds pretty useless but maybe he would pay for a housekeeper to keep the relationship. You could ask.
??? Show me one post where I am “anti-women”. Also, being part of Men's Right subreddit is ≠ hating women. LMAO
My first husband had this problem, too. He gave me a pelvic infection.
I ALMOST DIED.
Make him take a fucking shower.
yes, no one else has ever known Men Who Fish and women don't have secret fishing spots? ????
??♀️ ask her to switch? Friend her and send goodies. Other than that, ??♀️??♀️??♀️??♀️??♀️ her problem. Don't wear tap shoes to clean
Your husband sounds like a dick and both of you should get tested for sleep apnea and get cpap machines.
Exactly the type to dump u in a home or forget u in the hospital if u have an accident because it's unfair he has to honor in sickness and in health.
He's already failing that one.
Agreed
If she told you she was pregnant really just 3 weeks after having had sex, I've got really bad news for you.
Almlst nobody notices their period missing that soon soon and no pee test would detect it.
It's really something you need to discuss with him wether or not you are into. Some girls I have been with love being spanked,hair pulled, called names etc. Other girls don't like it. Me myself and not really into it, does nothing for me but I don't dislike it to the point that I can't do it for a girl who does enjoy it.
I would be worried about a future with a person who casually shows you pics of him with his ex. Would he do something like that to you? Did he do that to his ex while they were dating? Is your privacy in the relationship safe? I wouldn’t date or be intimate with this person.
You told him not to do it. He stopped for awhile. But he enjoys doing it, so he tried to just do it ‘a little’ instead of respecting your boundaries or using his words and having a conversation.
Have a conversation with him. Tell him any hair pulling is off limits. Tell him it’s very upsetting to you. Tell him that if he is unsure – he should NOT do it and have a conversation with you instead.
If he keeps doing and asking for forgiveness later, that’s dump him territory.
Break up with her. It would be one thing if she were trying to be healthy, but she isn't and she's snowing you by saying everyone's ugly when they're old (am old, am not ugly) and that wanting an attractive partner is shallow. Break up with her.
You should dump BF. This doesn't sound like a healthy functioning relationship if his first inclination was to assume you were cheating on him. Find someone who is a better match for you (and definitely not the sleazebag who kissed you while you had a BF).
Well, this is sorta new. When I first met him, he was sweet and gentle and thoughtful. With only the occasional teasing joke. Except these jokes were very obviously jokes. And they weren't as numerous. Now, in the last month or so, it seems like most of the things he says to me are digs at me. And sometimes it's very hard to tell that he's joking. At first I thought maybe I was just paying attention to it more because I've been having issues with my self esteem and it seems easier to notice when someone's being nice vs being mean. But the more I think about it, the more I think the reason I've been having such a nude time feeling good about myself is because of him.
Gotta try and make her feel sexy
I understand that. But we’ve been together for a year. Maybe I’m not ready for a serious commitment with my boyfriend just yet but we haven’t even discussed serious stuff like marriage, when we should we move in together, what we our values are for raising a family and so on. His son is still living at home, still paying off student loans, and I assume is happy.
And i understand his happiness isnt the only thing that matters but im not serious about this relationship since school is my top priority. The way he was discussing me as his subject was as if I was on track to becoming his in law
If you have to ask Reddit you already know. Why are you chatting someone just fresh from college? It’s gross af that you even need to ask why this isn’t appropriate
Sweetie-pie, this isn't about your trauma ruining your relationship. This is about your boyfriend – someone who allows you to be bullied by his family w/out defending you, or even allowing you to defend yourself! Your boyfriend actively enables others to abuse you by bringing you around them while knowing full well that they're cruel to you. He is supposed to love you – this means keeping you away from anyone who would harm you and defending you if you do end up in that environment. Instead, he brings you into into the unsafe environment of his abusive family, and somehow the narrative is that it's you and your trauma that's to blame for your distress and hurt??? Of course you're distressed & hurt; your boyfriend stands by while others mistreat you, and, to add extreme insult to extreme injury, even disallows you to defend yourself!!! Your boyfriend is massively toxic & abusive, and is trying to blame the problems caused by his own deficiencies on you!!!
get a restraining order for stalking, unfortunately I don't think you should consider these people family, as they've tried to ruin your life since 14
I hope you and your fiancé can start a proper family without them psychopathic interferences.
I don't know what's up with your boyfriend. I do know you need support beyond just him. Why do you stay with him. Whether he is actually flirting with these girls and thinking of leaving the relationship or whether he wants to marry you. It doesn't matter. You need to expand your circle of influence and support. Just leaning on him is too much for him and it is unhealthy for you. Grow your life. Make it bigger. He cannot be the center of it. It's not healthy. It's not going to last. Change something. It's you. Not him. You. Sorry. That's how I see it.