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Could be a joke. Could be partly true and saying it is getting comfortable with the idea.
You asked. You say she brushed it off. Your feelings are valid.
The joke and the brushing it off would have happened in my relationship where we stayed together about 10 years too long.
in my now healthy relationship we explore and accept each other's feelings. I would have apologized and fully explained my reasoning. I would never want to hurt my fiance and I would want to mitigate that hurt as much as possible.
You have to be vulnerable with each other to build closeness and trust.
You are totally right here. It's ok to want sex and not get it, but it crosses a line into manipulation and coercion when he expresses that to the level he did.
He can't feel close and intimate by cuddling and falling asleep in each other's arms?
It sounds like you guys have plenty of sex so I really don't think you want “different things,” but you need to make it clear that the way he acted was not ok
You don’t seem super stable here. Yeah, there’s a chance that that happened. But there is a much higher chance that when you were leaving, it disrupted the hierarchy between the cats and him. There’s also a really good chance that while you were gone, he won your cats affection over with lots of food, and it was easier because you weren’t there to compete with him or be guarded by the cat.
All of that being said, I would really discourage a relationship with this large of an age gap, and that is coming from someone who has been married to a spouse with a very large age gap. You will not get to on-line your life as a young 20 something, it will feel like you are skipping decades of your life, and like things won’t be equal between you two. Another thing, it’s not appropriate to let your animals attack someone who is a guest in your house. Be a better owner, try to control how destructive they can be. Why do you want your cat watching you fuck anyway? I don’t think this relationship is great for you, but I can sympathize with your boyfriend throwing clothes at a cat who is attacking him while he’s in a vulnerable position. Why did you allow it to get like this?
Our cat was feral, which means she’s not especially cuddly. I know this, and I make sure to put her up or keep her distracted if there’s a situation where she could hurt someone visiting my home.
Translation: He wants the freedom to hook up with other girls while he is on vacation with no consequences and without feeling guilty. He doesn’t want you to come because you will interfere with him being able to hook up with other girls and get wild with his buddies. He wants his stable relationship waiting for him on a silver platter when he gets home and is done having his fun.
I just don’t understand why there is a need to look at other nude women when you are in a realtionship. Also my body image issues have gotten better as I stated in my post. It still makes me feel insecure tho that he need to go look at other hard women when we literally live together.
She actually did tell her parents about my black eye, but she never said how bad it was or updated them on the situation as it developed. It also didn't help that they didn't seem to believe that my shiner was the result of an errant elbow that she threw while we were sleeping, despite it being the truth.
Exactly! If she's insecure about that then she should either talk about it with him, or break it up! Because if she doesn't surpass that insecurity she'll start being controlling and accusing him of cheating or whatever
You are feeling ignored because you are being ignored. He's just not that into you. Move on.
Sorry I’m not the brightest bulb in the box. Could you please explain the analogy?
Wow. Such an asshole. But we’re all wrong, right, Mr. Smug?
Dude should realize if she had a secret phone she wouldn’t just leave it out charging in the bathroom ?
I’ve read your post and all your comments responses and I still can’t figure out a coherent explanation for what you meant that doesn’t come off as bad. Because unless he’s a controlling arsehole that prevents you doing the fun things that should be acceptable in a relationship, all that’s left is some shade of infidelity.
Your comments also show a decency to try to explain in away and blame it in something other than your actions. I don’t but your definition of fun + ESL excuse. From another ESL: your English is far too good not to know how this word is commonly used and interpreted. Playing semantic games just sends the message: “you’re upset because you don’t understand”
What you need to do is to take ownership of what you did: you said something mean and hurtful. Start with that
Why post asking for advice if you are just going to be rude and antagonistic to the people who respond?
If you know how to deal with it better than anyone else then why are you even asking?
I was mostly with Anne till the story about her going behind your back to give a group gift to your folks by herself. that is just a shitty thing to do to you.
in terms of how to proceed, i would say just do holidays with Beth, and tell your parents/Anne they are welcome to come over after.
also – if you dont like going to Anne's for holidays, just start hosting your own. invite whoever you want, and have fun. if people cant/wont come, then dont sweat it.
He can only carry one bag at a time? ?
You don’t do enough for him? He freaking lives rent free and yells at you for not shopping on HIS days to do it.
Stop apologizing to a man who is not holding up his end of the deal.
There is a difference between having had sex with a lot of people who you aren't in contact with anymore and actively remaining friends with people you had sex with and then hiding it from your partner. She clearly didn't tell you because she knew you wouldn't be okay with it. That shows she can't be trusted. What else has she hidden from you?
Then get somewhere small that you can afford where you can on-line how YOU want to online. And please don't tie yourself financially to someone who is reliant on crypto for financial stability, that way lies madness.
He didn’t say anything.
Maybe you should stop projecting all your baggage on to other people?
Or maybe the bf and fiancé are into each other and shit hit the fan when fiancé made it clear he's not calling of the wedding? ?♀️
Sorry but your cousin is a Nazi and will raise Nazi children. Nothing you can do about it.
You need to cut them off. Hope that in 18 years the baby will come looking for sane family.
I appreciate the advice and resources, i read through some of it and the 4 risk factors it states are all checked off perfectly for my cousin. N is leaving for another state today and will be gone for the week. C already asked if i could keep her and B company because we live 5 minutes down the road, which is another reason i don’t want to go nuclear and i didn’t freak out immediately and tried to explain actual science to her instead, so i will be talking with her. I also decided with my mom and sister that i will be getting her night by Ellie Wiesel and The diary of Anne Frank and giving those to her during this conversation. For anyone saying my moms a nazi sympathizer because i saw a couple, she is NOT. And the only info she had is the one comment and the book i saw. She lives in a different time zone so i was not able to discuss last night happening with her until this morning. She is sad and disgusted, she always said C was her first love because she was the one that was always there for her protecting her from my aunts boyfriends and raising her and her sisters because my mom was living with my aunt because my grandma is also trash. Shes in the same situation as me but shes known her since the day she was born, and is unsure of what to do or say because we know were losing C and shes already anchored to this guy with a kid and we also really don’t want nazis being raised in any sense of the word.
I can guarantee the people working in property management for the building aren't wealthy. I'm sure the door man, front desk staff, building super, or cleaning staff would not waste fancy food gifted by one of the building residents.
Usually I would agree with you but she doesn't seem to be able to set healthy boundaries so I think I would want the same thing in this particular situation. Though I would have just left her not proposed.
Oh yes this one will break even the Hoover Dam
Why are you mad at her?!?!
Is she the one who is allegedly in a monogamous relationship with you? Oh, wait. That’s your BF!
Your BF done F*cked up. So why do you want to “get over it”?
Has he apologized? Has he accepted that he screwed up? Has he taken responsibility for this?
I never would have paid half to go visit his family. He wants you to go visit them, he should pay. He sounds like a user.
Leave while you still can!
He said his previous partners had more “grip” so he stays hard longer
Either commit to your guy and be happy with what he gives you (or tell him your not and want to work on it and then you can decide if your happy with the response). Or don’t, tell him you’re not exclusive as it’s not a relationship you want, and go for a drink with chat up guy. Just don’t try to do both…
Neither. You were on breaks/broken up. If you are getting back together to argue about what you did when you were broken up is it worth it? Having love for someone and being compatible are not the same. I am sure you love him but the relationship isn’t good.
You don’t need friends like that if they blame you for looking out for them I’m sorry but you guys were never really friends you deserve better
I’d approach it by breaking up. She a demanding and entitled little wench.
Neither of you are in the wrong. This is part of compatibility – neither of you are likely to change your mind. Might not be a future because of it… sorry man but you might need to end it soon.
Break ups where no one did anything wrong are the worst, but incompatibility is legit.
After God, country, and his son.
I understand God and his son, but country? As in his country or the music genre?
Why do men always want us to pay them back after they do something nice for us?
Don't generalize. Not all men are like that.
You're in the right here. The deposit would be a substantial chunk of cash and giving her effectively half of that would be ridiculous.
You tell her that she can have 50% of the equity of the house less the deposit, and that's only contingent on her contributing 50% of the mortgage and household running costs (utilities, property tax etc.)
If she doesn't like it then never mind, you make the payments and you keep the house.