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I didn't say he put me in danger (even though nothing is 100%)
I said he lied to me and is selfish.
Yeah that boy hasn't cut the apron strings yet (tbf he is only 20 but still). Do you really want a project to help him grow up?
So are you going to waste the rest of your life waiting for him to admit to something you know he's lying about? It sounds like he's had a girlfriend for the entire time you've been married. Was this also going on before you married him? Leave him. Let him cheat on the other girl. I'll bet she's not going to like it, either.
I get that this is new for you and you have a lot to learn, but it doesn't seem like you are coming at this from a place of trying to understand what your son needs and how you can help him. It sounds like you already know whats best for him and his life. If you approached him with more openness and humility, it would be a lot easier to understand eachother.
Have you done research on the stories of other trans men? It could help you understand the benefit transition had in their life.
This is some Cal from Euphoria activity