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Tell him that you’re afraid of him, that usually smacks the fear of god into a man.
you're married already after having a breakup two years ago? red flag lmao
This is tough and I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling and all that goes along with that. It’s easy to crucify him for saying those things and being so disrespectful etc but I would ask you to take a bird’s eye view of things. Cuz like it or not, it’s just human nature to blow up and focus on only the negatives when someone wrongs us and we overlook all the good stuff. We’re so quick to judge and cut ties because we’re hurt and remember that whatever you focus on will become bigger to you.
If your love for him is still there, and I’m sure it is otherwise you wouldn’t be asking for advice, consider giving him the benefit of the doubt… a little breathing room for grace. No one is perfect, no matter how long you’ve known each other or have been together.
It’s an ongoing journey of discovery. You guys are still learning about each other. And if you’ve only seen the good a few minor bumps in the road here and there and haven’t gotten to see the ugliness yet, then welcome to the glimpse of reality. It’s nude to embrace or accept, but we are creatures of habit. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to justify what was said and done has any justification, because it doesn’t. But neither does separation; and I get it. Easier said than done.
I would recommend you guys seek marriage counseling to help mend and heal what broke and fight for your marriage, you both deserve it. Focus on all the good and do not highlight all the bad, yes make note of it and write it down and put it to the side, but first, make a list of all the reasons you love him. All those things about him that you love, and then make a Ben Franklin “T” and list pro’s and con’s.
This is what I mean about taking a bird’s eye view.
I hope and pray you guys make it work and find healing through forgiveness… gbu.
You don't know anything yet. You will have to watch for a while. And get some photochromic lenses next time. They are a life saver for glare and the sunlight is not healthy on your eyes.
okay
They both look yellow to me
Especially since the last Update of her is about how HE doesn't want HER to go on their honeymoon with her friends, now that he got his wish to postpone the wedding. This man is trash and selfish to the max. He extended his reach far too greatly by wanting to prevent her from going on a trip because he is incapable of prioritizing his fiancé and subsequently can't go with her.
He made his bed, he has to lie in it. Better yet, he should lie on the cold street ground after she kicks his trash butt to the curb. God I hope OP finds her self respect before she makes the mistake of marrying this man.
I gagged upon reading this. GOOD HYGIENE IS NON-NEGOTIABLE!! If any grown man has to be “bribed” into doing basic tasks like washing themselves, wiping their ass, etc. then that is not a grown man at all — that’s a child. You tell your husband you did not marry a child and you refuse to mother him about taking care of himself. Not being clean before sex will lead to UTIs, yeast infections, and a bunch of other unsavory health issues for your body. How dare he try to compromise that due to laziness. This should be a standard that you do not budge on and if he refuses to comply then girl, you need to think long and nude if you want to stay with someone who thinks it’s acceptable to wallow in their own filth after a long work day for the rest of your life. Ew.
Love this response. For the relationship to work, GF will need to take this difficult but necessary step.
I will get therapy for sure 🙂 I’m looking for therapists as we speak. I also think forgiving her a little will help me personally… There’s no point in resenting her my whole life and I can move on while still knowing she was wrong for what she did. Thank you so much for your reply.
I'm just worried that her husband won't support push back on the ILs moving in. Since he is the last kid.
Honestly, I think SIL should have realised how her parents would react, this kind of reaction doesn't come out suddenly, she had to have known they were religious/homophobic. She sort of made OP and her husband a captive audience by doing this at a family function.
I also understand how it is when your toxic family is in a shouting match and just wanting to stay out of it, so I can't fault OPs husband for not immediately backing up his sister.
@OP, the way your husband is reacting sounds like he's really just uncomfortable, have a chat once he's cooled off a bit – I'm sure he's supportive of his sister (like you said, he's supportive of your brother), maybe he just didn't want to get caught in the argument, which I think is fair. He can wait till everything calms down and try talk some sense into his parents later.
This an an outcome I have been considering greatly recently, and one I hope does not need to happen. However, it may be the healthier alternative for the both of us. I love him dearly, but I cannot cater to his extensive needs and even more immediate needs. Thank you.
I forget about past lovers I slept with also. It’s just that some people were really bad that I wanted to forget about them, or they simply weren’t memorable.
She’s been with you for six months meaning you are one of her big loves and very very memorable. Don’t let a silly thing like this ruin your future together. Actively try and see past it.
He made a joke about raping. Raping you. And then he said it wouldn't be rape.
Run, my girl, run.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. If my partner was texting a girl he left me for and telling her, after 14 years, that those were the best times of his life I would blow everything up. I would cease to function as well. He is being incredibly disrespectful, he’s being a fucking loser, and I hope OP knows she deserves better.
that’s what they do while they are trying to score
You need to get tested. Now. You need to talk to a lawyer, next.
Keep a close eye on finances because now that he knows YOU know, he may run.
He will never stop cheating on you. You cannot do anything to get him to stop.
Parents are supposed to set a great example for their kids. Since he has decided to set a crappy example, you have to make up for it by setting a good one. LEAVE HIM.
He might…if the dude is nude and knows how to use his tools