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It sounds like your partner may need some help communicating with you. I would suggest expressing your concerns to him openly and honestly – let him know how his words or lack thereof make you feel. It might be useful to set boundaries around when, how often, and in what forms (text/call etc.) he should communicate with you so that both of you are clear on expectations.
At the same time, communication alone will not fix all problems that arise from 2 people dating over a long-distance relationship remotely. There are other factors such as trust, consistency, physical intimacy etc., that come into play here too. You can try talking it out with him but ultimately the decision lies between the two of you whether this is something worth pursuing or if it's best for both of your mental healths to call it quits at this point.
Been low contact for years and it really is the dream. I’m so much happier now.
How come 4 kids? Especially if it seems as though money may be an issue
Yep. We had a huuuuge walk in closet when I was growing up and we were poor. Poor as in we were homeless once. That closet could have fit more than 50 hoodies lol.
It wasn't a good neighborhood though but it wasn't in the real dangerous part of town.
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Well it depends. It could just be that the father sees something in the new bf he just doesn’t really like, but knows he has no good reason to deny him either.
My dad was like that with my ex. 4 years of dating and he NEVER was more than baseline “polite” with him. His issue was that all the things my dad hated in himself, were traits my ex had, and he was afraid I was going to be stuck in a relationship with a man I wasn’t very compatible with and make similar mistakes as my mom (yes my dad does think he ruined my mom’s life due to his immaturity and other issues that he has since gotten better at and is trying to make up for. Mom does not agree those years were “ruined” or their marriage was mistake, just that she didn’t like how stressful that time was due to his behavior.)
However, my bf never actually did anything that deserved a cold shoulder, so my father just simply did not interact with him more than what was called for… and my ex decided to reply in kind. They did make sure to try to make him feel included though, by inviting him to places or including him in conversation.
He WAS right about the compatibility though, in the end. I ended up leaving that relationship, and am now engaged to my current bf (6yrs and counting). My parents totally clicked with him, and he’s legitimately excited to have “parents” he relates with on hobbies and such. He didn’t really do anything to particularly “earn” their affections, they just get along really well.
Sometimes that’s something to consider. Just like parents don’t always “like” their own children (though they do love them), people aren’t guaranteed to like others and get along with them just because of a shared connection/proximity.
If the bf and dad had a shared hobby, interest, etc that may help smooth things out a bit, but yeah I think getting the father out by himself and asking him directly what was wrong would go a long way to seeing if the relationship can be fixed. I mean, that’s how I finally got it out of my own dad, and after he tried to be more friendly to my then boyfriend… but also gave me context to not try and push it.
I’ve had it happen to me although the person who approached me was gay. I was called homophobic for saying no. I said no because I am not gay and I was happily seeing someone at the time so that should have been enough. No it wasn’t, I found out through one of my closer classmates that people thought I was gay and suggested our classmate ask me out. I went from being thought of as gay to being thought of as a homophobic bigot all in a very short time and to this day I still can’t understand the logic.
There are four common issues that partners need to agree on. Sex, Money, Kids and Religion.
The answers to these topics may vary but the two people need to agree on how to handle them
Thank you very much for your personal perspective, advice, and story. This has been one of the most helpful and well said comments I’ve received and will be thinking of this when her and I talk. Appreciate you very much
we got back together in March. i had two periods after sleeping with the other man. I’m just worrying. My partner knows I slept with someone else but has never questioned if the baby is his. That’s why I think i’m being irrational. I just can’t stop crying about it i feel so awful.
Oh honey, this is abusive as hell. He is manipulating you by wearing down your self-esteem so that you feel less comfortable challenging him and are too afraid to leave him. You do not deserve this. You are better than this. Throw the whole man away.
He needs physiatric help. If you go near him it will be a constant guilt trip you'll never escape from.
Oh well sucks for him. Your husband sounds terrible
He isn’t ready and may never be. Might be time to cut him loose.
On the plus side, if you do, you might find him chasing you and be in the position of dictating terms.
I've worked for 52 years. White collar worker for 35 years. I have never given nor received an expensive gift from a co-worker. It would make me feel uncomfortable to receive one. There is more to this story I suspect. This needs to be a sit-down, serious discussion between you two.
Run. Don’t walk. Run away from this marriage.
Yes, once you become a parent… The whole idea that “you come first”, absolutely not. It goes away. You chose to have that child, selfishness no longer is an option. You can’t check out anymore. You can’t even be depressed like this, I mean it happens but it’s really pathetic to not try to seek help. Nothing is more infuriating than someone who doesn’t seek help for mental health. This can mean reading self help books, meditating, exercise, eating better, consuming less technology (reducing/eliminating addictions), and medication. With all of these factors then maybe you’ll be able to get over depression. It takes a lot of work to be healthy, and you need to do that. For yourself and your children. Otherwise, why did you even produce??
You need to take care of yourself in order to be there for your children.
Being a SAHP is not a bad thing. I think it’s good for at least one parent to be there most of the time. Children need to be nurtured and sometimes having a parent at home is a good thing. Especially in special cases where kids cannot be left alone.
I also think that we no longer online in a society where children are affordable anymore. Having kids is almost a luxury, unless you can fully support children- people shouldn’t have them. Maybe one, but even then It really sucks for anyone who wants a bigger family.
I like big butts and I cannot lie!
On a T-shirt at my favorite BBQ Place
You can't stay with someone just because they make you laugh. A TV can do that. You need love and respect and a million other things for a good relationship.
Take from that what you will.
I think she's already showing you mate
She is not a girlfriend material, don't plan any future with her
No, they're raised to think that having sex is giving men a gift. Something that some men are willing to pay for. So the very fact that they're having sex to them feels like they're giving already.
“You just sort of came out with it”? Why? What was the purpose? You led him down a path of insecurity for what reason? If this was AITA, you’d be that.
And does size really matter to you? I’ve never noticed anyone’s size, just their caring/attention etc. if I were him, I’d leave you
I would wonder why your sister wants to destroy your relationship with your girlfriend. And is your sisters friend trying to get to you
Also pretty sure he wants kids and I absolutely do not. He makes it sound like he is okay with not having them but other conversations and what ive collected, pretty sure he wants them someday
Sounds like you have your mind set to be offended so just walk. He likes black girls you like taller guys. Having a preference is not a big deal. And yes most guys swipe on EVERY GIRL THAT EVEN SORT OF ATTRACTS THEM. Literally every girl.
Someone that is a good liar will almost always be concerned with getting better at lying, rather than getting better at being a good person.
You’re welcome!
But you also have to be mindful of his gaming- it’s his relaxation and his downtime activity. You can’t just replace that with active 2 person stuff and expect that to go over well.
I’m a strong believer in couples having similar interests so you may just have to accept that it isn’t something you can both compromise on and find someone better suited to your own hobbies… because let me tell you, there is nothing more annoying than being distracted from a storyline you’ve invested time and energy into just because someone else doesn’t understand the appeal.
Definitely set boundaries and timelines- AKA you can play for the next hour then spend the next hour with me, etc, but also- have your own hobbies you can do in the meantime because there will be long periods of time that your partner will be “on a mission” to reach a certain gaming goal, objective, etc.
So good luck!
By 'traditional' do you mean you consider her your property that she should have your name?
You could have gone double barreled if you actually wanted everyone to have the same surnames but you didn't because you want everyone to have YOUR name.
She's clearly not interested.
If i were u, I'd let it go .
You all sound so immature lol. Sounds a lot alike my previous relationship, thank god I didn’t have a baby with him.
These types of posts are always so ridiculous.
There is no “they won't let me break up with them!”
You are a 33 year old adult man. Pull up your big boy underwear and act like a god damned adult instead of a helpless child.
Did discord even exist 7 years ago?
He was 21 dating an 18 year old. They could have reasonably met at a number of places such as university.
How many times during the week do you walk on eggshells around him, afraid of his reactions?
I’m guessing several times per week. If so, then you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.
He behaved like an absolute asshole to you and your kids, and now he wants you to apologize to him for making him act that way. He’s an abusive toddler.
she has had strange, seemingly unhealthy attachment to the high school ex, and also seems perpetually longing for different things in life and seeming to think the grass is always greener.
This is the worrying part. She keeps constantly fantasizing about being with other people. She some times entertained the idea although apparently didn't acted on it. I would be mad uncomfortable knowing this.
IMO when I look for a relationship the first thing that I look for is PEACE, that feeling that you can trust her with certainty. From what you read, you can't say that. Are you willing to keep looking over your shoulder? wondering if this is the time she is going to act on her impulses? also, that ex is just one call away from banging your wife. 99% certain of that.