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Tell him to get checked out by a doctor. If you know it's not you maybe there's something going on physically/ neurological with him. Sleep separately and until resolved. Another room or sofa
Dude is this a troll post. You need to get up to pee 3 times at night? Do you have a medical condition?
Love isn't a zero sum game. If you show your family love? That doesn't mean you have less to give her.
IE: she's gone for a week. So you do dinner with your parents? What? are you supposed to mope at home all sads? I assume you're calling, texting, staying in contact…
Honestly? Probably need some sort of couples counseling. I feel – just a guess – she's jealous that she's half a world away from family and you're “close” to yours? Why should she have to sacrifice but you don't?
In your situation, if you want to spend time with them when she's gone? Unhappy. When she's there? unhappy. no win for someone who values your family.
Counseling or something to get to the root of the jealousy. An objective outside observer. Maybe you're spending too much time? Maybe jealousy? Maybe something else? Need more than I think we can give here.
Wait, you worry your asexual girlfriend doesn't find you attractive anymore? Asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction, which doesn't determine sexual drive. I'm asexual, I don't have sexual attraction to my partners, but I have in the past engaged in sexual activities with partners and have a middle of the road level of drive even if it's just with myself. It seems there has been long term miscommunication if you were unaware of what asexuality is and it's affects on drive.
Tbh it sounds like you need therapy,
Just being alone isn’t normal for humans as a species since we have existed
Maybe talk to a therapist about this
Also check out the book
Into the wild
It may give u perspective
Cheating comes in many forms from different people and boundaries must be discussed beforehand.
If this was a guy friend I’m pretty sure more people would see the guy’s perspective better. The gender doesn’t change much.
There’s also a possibility as you were telling him that you conveyed the wrong message.
Just explain to him the atmosphere and intent clearly and that you’d like to work through this together.
The people saying break up think that relationships don’t come with hardships like this, you two seem to have communication problems so just communicate
Let me tell you the story of my mother and my half sister, who are seven years apart in age. My father was 12 years older than my mother and had been married twice previously.
My half sister was 15 when my dad decided marrying my mother who was 22 was a stellar idea.
Oh it was fine at first. While my parents were dating, my half sister enjoyed hanging out with my mom. My mom was the buck wild sort of type, while my dad, well…straight laced as all get out but buck wild behind closed doors.
But when they married, oh boy.
The first five years of their marriage, my half sister constantly fought with my mom. Constantly. Mom went from being “fun cool adult friend” to well, her parent and guardian. It got so bad that my mom essentially “chased” my half sister out of the house, because it was WW3 up in the house. She was 17 or 18 when she headed off to college.
One night, while my dad was out of town (because this man lived and breathed his job), my mom received a phone call from my half sister. Her bf had beaten the absolute shit out of her and she couldn’t get a hold of her bio mom, so she called hoping dad could help. Needless to say, my mom told her to get on a greyhound bus and come home. Sent her some money. And she started attending a school close to their house.
It took years for them to settle their beef. Hell, even after my dad died, my half sister still made the occasional snarky comment about my mom’s “personality”. Hey, I get it, my mom didn’t exactly win mother of the year with her own kids either. Still though, my half sister remembers the night she called and expected my mom to tell her to fuck off. And mom ended up dropping everything to make sure she was okay anyway, even though my mom wasn’t too thrilled about their relationship.
Look, you’re not gonna win mother of the year to the older one. There’s always gonna be tension surrounding your close proximity to her age.
You can hate it. It can hurt your feelings. But someday, like my half sister, she may need you. And you can either be a raging asshole about it and take your “revenge”, or, you can be an adult and realize it’s just words.
Sticks and stones, dude. Sticks and stones.
He sounds super defensive…he might be cheating and is just projecting it onto you. As a fellow woman with woman friends, that's really not a weird thing to do. My friends and I will get dressed around each other and stuff; nudity is not inherently sexual, especially among friends
And then she moved on like an adult and is thoroughly on her way to forgetting about you because you don't matter in her life. She waved at you because you started at her and she was being polite.
Condoms. Condoms are your answer.
Do you? I thought some people would think it was over the top but really, if he has washed his hands with soap and water it shouldn't be a problem, right? Can I get an amen?
Or “new phone who dis?”
You literally don’t seem to mind that you physically abused your (far to young for you, basically barely an adult) girlfriend? You need to end things and work on yourself and your understanding of consent and boundaries before pursuing other relationships with women. Oh and don’t date teenagers unless you’re also a teenager or like barely 20
He’s probably just mad that the literal child he started dating is no longer a child, but an actual woman.
oh yes, here were go. more disposal income??? he was paying for everything for 2 people and a baby.
Same
Does he feel happy and in love with you?
Thank you kindly
This is a fantastic post.
With that said, the fact OP has responded to every post except this one shows she didn’t want advice and she has no intention of doing anything about what she did.
….. if you are seeing these people outside of work, they are your friends, work friends, but friends nonetheless.
If you wanted to keep your work separate from your personal life, then you shouldn’t be seeing these people outside of work, and you definitely shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with someone at your work (even if you work in different areas)
I get the sense that his coworkers don’t do social interaction, so he’s not friends with them, but also that even if that was true, you wouldn’t want to be introduced to them anyway, so saying that you haven’t meet his as a reason to not introduce him to yours is bs.
Your fully right to keep them separate if that is what you want, but don’t be surprised when he leaves you because he feels that you are ashamed of him. And the fact that at the company new year’s event, you imply that you didn’t want him around you because you were talking to your coworkers is proof that he’s going to be right.
Start putting you first by not taking her back. Then keep caring, a lot of women want someone who cares.
Why does she want you to pay for it? Seems weird to insist when you’ve been together that long and you both pay for things. I’ve only been with my fiancé for 3 years and usually he pays but sometimes he asks me to pay and I never say no. I also pay of my own accord without him having to ask.
It just seems like a strange thing for her to insist on unless she for some reason had no money until she next got paid on like Friday and therefore could pay the $70 on Saturday. It shouldn’t be tit for tat either.
Exactly. You can ALWAYS smell the cigarettes just under whatever you're hiding it with.
So you want to end up living with 4 people who clog toilets? Do you want your kids to behave like with with their future partners?
Stop apologizing! You should have NEVER apologized. He screamed at you. He clogs toilets and you have to go around fixing them.
Set up ONE bathroom that's your bathroom. Then never clean or unclog any other fucking toilet. Now toilets are his responsibility. Let them get clogged, dirty, full of poor. I don't care if your kids complain, they can go complain to him.
It feels disrespectful because he’s treating you like a pupil rather than an equal. He’s assuming you don’t know anything rather than asking if you understand, therefore putting him up intellectually and putting you down as a result. This is one of the reasons I broke up with my last boyfriend, because I tried talking to him so many times only for him not to listen time and time again. If this is a habit then it’s probably not going to change, sorry.
Yeah and if its only cheating or any moral failing?
Bet a bunch of the shady fucks in these comments have bribed a cop or shoplifted or lied or cheated
True there is adoption and in vitro fertilization, but let’s be honest you won’t even admit anonymously that you love either of them. Using semantics to deflect your anxiety is only going cause you more stress in the future when you decide to settle down two people you’re not in love with just because you chose the best options rights now. But it’s your life. If you have all of the answers, going on Reddit and asking strangers isn’t going to help you.
She's capable of lying to your face for six years, who knows what else she's hiding.
I’m reeeeally wondering what your parents would say about this guy, how bad the “money troubles” were, and how many times they had to bail you out.
Thank you so much.
III
What happened next ? Did you stay with him ?
She's the one that wanted this move. That's acting like it's nothing. It's not as simple as ignoring it when I'm CONSTANTLY hearing it. I want to be a father and husband in peace. I don't need that bullshit when I'm trying to be there for my daughter. Or daring to have a nice night with my wife.
I doubt it would be so easy if you constantly heard the shit people were saying if it was about you. Id never hurt a child.
I think you need to find someone else who fits you better. Its obvious you have deeply held beliefs that, while he shares most of them, he doesn't share them in the way you do. You might be able to discuss this with him, you might not, but I certainly don't think you value his connection to his father the way he does and that is a problem for sure. There is at least one major value that you differ on in such a way that it will cause conflict.
“Good for this guy… wore down his wife enough… TO HAVE CHILDREN?”
You don’t coerce people or wear them down to do ANYTHING they don’t want to do. And to literally write that he was great as a person for being patient enough to “wear down his wife enough TO HAVE CHILDREN”?
CHILDREN ARE NOT THINGS. THEY ARE NOT TOYS. THEY ARE NOT KODAK MOMENTS FOR YOUR LAME FACEBOOK FEED NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT.
THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN TO A PARENT WHO NEVER EVEN WANTED THEM AND ONLY HAD THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED INTO DOING SO BY THEIR PARTNER.
THIS IS WHY SO MANY CHILDREN GET NEGLECTED AND ABUSED—PEOPLE HAVING KIDS WHO NEVER WANTED THEM.
PARENTHOOD CHANGES YOUR LIFE FOREVER AND IS NOT REVERSIBLE.
What if you never wanted to have anal because it hurt and it was uncomfortable but your husband nagged and complained and whined and got upset every time you said no for years and years and years threatening to leave unless you did it until finally you can’t take it anymore and you give in. THATS COERCION. COERCION IS RAPE.
What if you were pregnant and wanted to keep the child but your husband kept nagging and complaining and whining and WEARING YOU DOWN to abort it. THAT IS A GREAT QUALITY IN A PERSON TO YOU?
Now change those scenarios into grinding someone down into HAVING CHILDREN THEY DO NOT WANT and all the sudden it’s fine and a GOOD FUCKING QUALITY?
There is literally nothing wrong with not wanting kids. If you stay in a marriage hoping to change your partner’s mind or, like you, would emotionally abuse them into having them against their will, you’re a trash person.
You are a horrible person for thinking this way and I feel really, really bad for your kids and their future therapy bills. May they find peace in a world without such a garbage, manipulative parent.
For those who don’t want kids, if possible, get snipped or have your tubes tied so no one baby traps you and ruins your fucking life against your will.
she said before her death she will text her friend my phone number so her friend can tell me she is dead.
You can count on receiving a text from that friend. Just realize it's a bullshit manipulation tactic.
What should I do here?
Block her and move on.
That was the point, yeah. The person was saying prostitution was “just a job”
Imagine working 40 hours a month and make 2 grands lol
Seems like he’s using you for sex and servitude…. Why put up with this shit? Find someone who likes you for you
Dump this trash pile. If he had a great heart he wouldn’t be saying such disgusting things. Especially telling a vulnerable teenager that they should end themselves. Damn. He goes on the attack at any hint of “disrespect”. He needs to get over himself. Why doesn’t his family hold him responsible for his repulsive behaviour?
I don't have any advice because you're in a super shitty situation due to someone else's selfish actions and no one deserves this. Also, seriously, fuck you, Bryan.
He explains that dating is a time for fun and future compatability. Marriage is when it becomes closed.
Are yall white and the new kid a minority? Seems like a very targeted question and response.
I’m confused as to why you care that you and your family are blocked from his instagram account.
He told you it was over. A relationship is a 2 yes, 1 no situation, so it was over from the moment he told you.
and is very mature for her age
Obviously she's not!
The insane person’s perspective of the subreddit.
The friend isn't the one lying to his SO about finances now, is he?
Are you exclusive?
Yeah it’s rude, it shows a lack of empathy, compassion and connection to your partner. Yes, you’re not an emotional dumping ground, but most relationships need openness to function and be healthy. You’re not emotionally mature enough yet to be in a serious relationship
Tells you a lot about your families values and loyalty.
I would lay down the law. If they continue cut them off.
It's such bullshit.
Except that nobody was in the house except our family. There were no friends or guests.
Other incidents: my mother thinking Islamic terrorists will attack her church – a tiny rural church of 90 people in Texas.
I think OP should be very casual about breaking up. ” I'm just not into this relationship anymore.” Leave it there. Don't be dramatic, just very very matter of fact.
Someone who is only interested if you're there all the time isn't a good choice for a long term partner.
Yeah, this is really silly.
You agreed to be exclusive with each other. Your friends are delusional cheaters if they are aware of that and told you to see someone else anyway. Either that or you didn’t tell them that you had agreed to be exclusive.
Grow up, talk to the guy you’re in a “situationship” with. If you want something, go for it. But don’t cheat, just communicate like an adult.
Please do, especially since he is threatening to take her away. That isn't a threat a parent can afford to ignore.
Good luck
Bahaha me too. My college boyfriend gave me a stuffed Piglet from Winnie the Pooh for Valentine’s Day once and all my friends teased me about how much I’m not a stuffed animal person and how much I didn’t like it. Like OPs gf I just said thanks haha.
That’s weird as hell. Ngl, disrespectful to you and I think you should voice your opinion to him. Also, onlyfans is not meant to be distributed to friends so what they’re doing is illegal and wrong
First time she was broken up but got back together within like 4 days of the break up and the second time I’m unsure.
It probably meant a lot to her and she wanted to have thins ready. Is she normally the one plans and executes social events for everyone?
I once made a huge supper for my husbands family, and he couldn’t bother to nail down the timings that everyone was supposed to be there. I must have spent $60 on short ribs, and all told it was about $230 on food and alcohol.
They all showed up over an hour late.
I walked out and went to my office to work instead.
Knowing she was tied up at work, did you make an effort to begin the party prep so she could stay on schedule?
I think there is information missing here.
She's probably being denied disability because they don't have it documented well enough, from the sound of it. He says there's no diagnosis, and without any diagnosis, how are you going to get approved? Other comments have gone into how had d it is to get approved, so I won't go into that, but for you to jump to he is being used, is just unnecessary.