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Sounds to me like she wants you available to fall back on but doesn't really want you. She will keep you on back burner as long as you let her. Move on and cut ties is what I suggest.
Honestly? Some people think your have it all together as long as you look like you have it all together. Maybe it's time to stop being so in control.
I don't know what that looks like in your relationship. Maybe you yell, maybe you cry, maybe you have him the baby and disappear for two hours and then tell him to duck off when he complains afterwards.
Whatever it looks like, you need to stop apologizing and stop explaining, because those don't affect him.
Try something new.
No. You're being selfish in your pursuit. What you're considering in trying to win her back is all to do with you and absolutely nothing to do with her.
You're now jealous she found someone else, so you are considering ruining that for her.
If you genuinely cared about her, you'd be happy for her and not want to rock the boat.