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Birth Date: 2001-05-04
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How would you beat this
its not controling or nosey, she is being secretive for no reason, tell her that her trying to be secretive is causing you anxiety and why she cant just be honest with you. Being direct and firm isnt controlling, she is trying to annoy you and she knows how to do so
You tried everything you can already. You cant do anything more. Next time he asks you to cover him just break up. “I seriously can't believe you havent fixed this situation yet. I have talked to you about this many times. You have depleted my patience for this shit and im done with you.”
Tomorrow is like a last chance for him to get it right. He should have already either taken your advice on the matter or found his own solution that doesnt involve you. If he cant do that much he is not ready for adult relationships.
But faulting me for having experienced her death says more about the people running than it would about me, I didn’t do anything wrong.
No, you didn't do anything wrong, however, your late gf's death is still a part of you….once you get closer to someone, it'll be completely normal to talk about what happened in the past.
You should tell your partner how it made you feel (if you’re comfortable with doing so) and explain that it won’t happen again as it has made you uncomfortable and feel negatively about yourself. I would also express why this was a big deal to you as it seems like this has impacted you a lot. I would also suggest couples or individual counseling to help you work through the feelings you’ve been experiencing due to this event.
!remindme one week
Well seeing as you say all your exes have come out of abusive relationships 1-3 months ago, i doubt you've tried looking for one thats been single 6 months let alone a year.
You want to know what to do, break the repeated pattern you keep seeing before its get to the inevitable conclusion. You say they all come out of an abusive relationship and then go very heavy very quickly with you. At 25, you should be smart enough to see the pattern that tells you these are red flags that should give you caution on how you continue with the relationship. Instead you just carry on like a love sick puppy until the inevitable happens.
Also you can say you arent actively pursuing women in this state, but coincidence will only carry you so far. Whether consciously or not you clearly are pursuing women in a vulnerable state. Probably just a bit of a white knight that wants to save his partner. Its not uncommon, but that will always bring with it the risk that they dont want saving, or simply dont want you once they feel safe.
Thank you for all of that.
My “don't bother” was probably harsh and hurtful. I was hurt, and this wasn't the first time. I knew what was coming. But maybe the way forward is to give more time, again, to make it right.
It sounds like you're simply not compatible. You're so young, you still have so much to do and so many people to meet. Why spend these years with someone you're not compatible with?
Sorry, marriage counseling.
Thank you for the kind words – it means a lot.
Would you feel uncomfortable if your gf's daughter started walking around in her underwear? Or a family friend when they visited?
I think it's common courtesy to wear more than just underwear if you on-line with other people that you're not romantically engaged with.
Sometimes it takes an ass kicking by life to teach us what we really want in life. Perhaps this put his relationship with you into perspective. We all learn and grow and change.
That being said, there are things that do cloud our judgement. Like being heartbroken and on the rebound. I would wait a very long time for him to get over all this before you even consider anything.
Firstly, a girl who constantly asks these questions is a walking red flag so idk what you gonna do about that . Also the porn thing is kinda controlling.
If you decide to stay with her though, you need to know this… If a woman ever, EVER asks you questions like;
Do you think about other girls during sex? Do you think she's prettier than me? Do you find my friend Mary-Sue attractive?
You say no. No. NO! Before the question is even out of her mouth you say a big proud and happy “NO”. Is it a lie? Maybe. Will it save her feelings? Yes.
He will not apologize, because you taught him that he doesn't have to.
You're going to sulk for a couple of days and then come back to being a nice, obedient wife who allows him to be the king in HER CAR and HER LIFE when he's not even fit to be a manure boy.
You can on-line with this for probably a very short time (before he kills you), or you can call a lawyer and divorce him.
We had more Momzillas than Bridezillas, let me tell you!!
How about marriage counseling and asking him to continue with his individual therapy. Also he needs to consider actually taking the medication he was prescribed. His OCD can become more manageable if he takes the medication and participates in therapy and you can strengthen your marriage. His needs to take responsibility for losing his patience with yelling and throwing something especially in front of your children. He needs to apologize to everyone together and explain why it happened. You also need to acknowledge and apologize for your behavior also. Reach out for your own help if you need, it can be very difficult to on-line with someone with untreated mental illness.
You should both grow up
I will say it's not really fair to her to dump her on her family if he knows they aren't gonna help her. If he really loves her I think it's at least fair he tries to find a temporary solution for her first before leaving ber.