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Most people dont consider the government or big corporations victims . We will probably never know really , since OP deleted her account .
How many times are you going to post about this guy though
Dip naked, nothing she can say will change what she actually wrote because what she wrote was what she means.
What the hell people?! Why is she getting downvoted for a high level of personal hygiene??
If you have to put this much thought into what somebody's contradictory behavior is about, is it really worth knowing them? Try not to think about it so much.
Social media is straight up poison for women, especially if they accumulate a decent number of followers. It turns them into narcissistic nutcases who put everything else in the backseat.
He is an ex for a reason op. Don’t romanticize who he is.
Well lucky it's not you in the situation. You know that childcare is work, that's why we pay nannies and daycares.
Give “The Squeaky Wheel” by the Dear Hunter a listen. That and the song that comes after in the album is what comes to mind to situations like these.
While I understand honor killings, I don't get why the family is so embarrassed about the aunt having a child with her 2nd husband.
Let that man go. Yuck.
I'll give you an upvote. Not because I agree with you (I don't). But because conversations benefit more from diverse, contrary, nuanced views than mob mentality.
That said, I don't think that she's making too much of it. Women are taught from a young age that much of our value is tied to our appearance (why do you think the makeup industry exists? Or the hours of getting ready to leave the house?) Our culture makes it very clear that our bodies are our currency.
Compound this with the general shame about vulvas. The amount of fear and trust that goes into showing a body part we've been taught to be ashamed of (“cross your legs!”). And the person who we most want to like it doesn't say it's beautiful… But like a stack of pancakes. Especially at OP's age, where showing people her vulva (after years of it being taboo) is still a very new thing. She's going to vividly remember that moment for decades, and never be confident that her private parts aren't embarrassing.
OP is entitled to her feelings. And your lack of empathy shows a lack of understanding about the female experience.
That said, I agree this sub is often too reactionary. And trying to break up what might be an otherwise great relationship over one bad joke is a bit much. I assume the bf wasn't trying to be cruel. Throughout our lifetimes we all make jokes that land poorly, and say things that don't reflect our real feelings. I say dumb stuff all the time. And because his intentions weren't bad, and he likewise doesn't understand the female experience, he's genuinely confused about why she's so upset. I'd explain the reasons I'm hurt, but cut him a little slack for his shitty apology. He's just a bit of a moron.
I also agree that OP will find life much easier if she doesn't get quite so upset about these types of things. She's entitled to her feelings – but life is full of people (often accidentally) saying things that hurt our feelings. Learning to let these barbs go, rather than dwelling on them, is better for long-term mental health.
I get this. I hate how i feel bad for him though. Because if he needs to do this for his trauma and to self soothe, i feel like he is just a hurt person. A broken individual who can’t help it
The obvious answer is to break up. You aren’t compatible and you don’t even really like each other. You are happy together. You don’t respect each other.
Just let her do her thing. Let her jam! Thanks for the convo there I really appreciate it!
I'm 45 and I get hit on way too much by men from 20 to 75. It makes me so uncomfortable. Your bf is a tool. Enjoy your 20s, feel confident in yourself. That's the difference between me in my 20s and now. I know what I want. Little boys will go for looks and body. Obviously attraction is important but confidence is where it's at. Dump his ass and move on to someone who doesn't come out with that kind of bs. It's not worth him tearing you down like that.
i base a good rage b8 post on the reactions it gets as much as the post itself and people are DISGUSTED with this fictitious drivel.
i agree, it's not original, but sometimes what's left out is equally important, and did you notice there's no mention of what the child-bride thinks of all this? because there is no child-bride, and yet, people are livid about the child-bride instead of being able to see this post for what it is, another rage b8.
dude did good work, he knows this audience.
His actions show otherwise. Words mean nothing, actions do. Leave him
Yes because other than the issues from the start of our marriage we have been happy and worked naked to build a solid relationship.
Note: I have changed some ages and genders, if any more information is needed feel free to lmk
I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this. And I love the sense of humor you're taking. You're a good one op. Maybe just a slight elbow and some ether to knock her out.
I don’t like the word consult, which indicates you’d be asking him, communicate with him about it before? Sure. But you don’t need to ask him.
Wow. This is a lot.
I think the marriage ship has sailed at this point. You need to get custody of the two youngest before they are both mentally traumatised by the situation.
I've heard of people getting remarried after divorcing so it doesn't mean it's done forever, but you need to get those kids.
Honey it’s your wedding. It’s a day to celebrate the love in your life and the people who have supported you along the way. Your father may have provided the genetic material, but you know that you are who you are today because of your Dad, a title which is earned.
You can’t be happy if you’re always trying to make other people happy. Your wedding day should be about you. It should be about who you want next to you. Let grandma down nicely, but make sure you express to her that your biological father has not earned the title Dad, and nothing will go back and change that. Him not being able to walk his biological daughter down the aisle is simply the repercussions of his choices.
You want your father to walk you down the aisle, the man who raised you, the man, who made you happy, the man who sacrificed for you to make sure you had everything you could. Why would you ever consider taking that honor from him?
Then yeah you can make it work, if he didn't have many sexual partners I doubt he's a “one way only” for sex, I mean like this is the only way he likes it, more like the only way he knows it. He can rediscover other ways that also gives and brings pleasure. Pretty sure if you stand your ground without judging you guys will converge to something nice over time.
So what do you think it might be? Insect bites would swell which they didn't here, nor a hit from the corner of the table resulting in painful and dark spot which too aren't in this case. So what might it be from?
Reddit isn't the right place to ask for advice man.
He is a really big one!
My wife would be pissed as well. A simple “hi good to see you, sorry I have a killer headache so I am going to lie down” would probably have been better no?
I don know why you all keep commenting trying to help Have you read her comments
She doesn’t listen or want to learn another perspective
We are all wrong her husband is wrong and she is right and everyone needs to be convinced of that
He is very lucky that he only got punched in self-defence as opposed to having burning naked coffee thrown in his face or being shot by a terrified woman who does not recognise the difference between kinky non-consensual sexual choking and a psycho stranger's attempts to strangle her to death.
Please consider filing police charges against him, the next woman whom he targets in her home might not have the quick reflexes that you do or the physical strength to force his hands off her throat.
Thank you for your message honestly. It's just so weird to think of him wanting to do this since he has explicitly told me multiple times my pleasure is the most important thing for him. And yeah.. You're right. Seriously your message means the absolute world to me. Thank you,
He has no defense. He could have not done it especially when he saw how distraught you were. Honestly, get a lawyer
Dude for a 34 year old, you sure are very clueless. I’m not supériorité you’re single. Good luck.
She is more important to me. I never go behind her back with any of this. We always talk about it before hand. That’s why I’m asking for advice to navigate this situation.
“she tried being a fitness influencer and failed for the most part”
weird thing to add unless you somehow think this is karma for leaving him
Yeah, don't marry her. Her “friends” will have sex with her, because that's just how they are. Run OP.
I agree, but I agree just make sure that your making the best decision for yourself and your daughter. Your ex knew the risk when he was having unprotected sex and also telling you this is what he wants. Ignore him for now if he comes back, let him know that he can't come in and out of the child's life.
He's being honest with you. He doesn't find the Kardashian look attractive. In the end it's up to you if you want to alter your body permanently.
And she will leave you when someone better comes along. Leave her she’s a turd
You need to tell him! First of all, you should feel comfortable enough with the man who is about to be your husband to share your honest thoughts about something that will (hopefully!) be on your hand forever!
Secondly, you are very openly into gems and sent him detailed information about the ring… it’s a bit insulting that he would not think to consider how important of a thing this would be to you specifically, not just as a woman being proposed to, but as you, the woman who he should know has such an affinity for beautiful stones. I’m not trying to insult him, but I would personally be very upset if my partner missed an easy mark when it’s my literal occupation and passion!
why not come another day?
My boyfriend doesn't have social media, he is very introverted and doesn't really know how to use the internet despite being 30. His emoji usage when texting feels a little like my mothers.
If someone seemed up to date on internet culture and was very social but said they didn't have social media they would be more suspicious.
Not having social media isn't a red flag, lying about having social media is definitely a red flag.
If she thinks you’re a pussy then she’s either an asshole or highly uneducated. No, being responsible is far from being a pussy. Congrats though, I know how tempting it is not to use condoms since it feels so much better without ..
Ask your Dad how God could allow that guy to rape the 13 year old TWO THOUSAND times. Ask him how god can allow young children to be raped and killed. I could go on and on. I was raised Catholic and still want to believe in God, but it's naked.
That is a valid point! I will be having this talk with her later this evening. It's unnecessary stress. Thank you for your input!
Lol, Reddit is such a bad place for advice. Someone asks if their partner would be interested in swinging (after starting in an open relationship) and your advice is to break up?
Yep you made your husband cry that's over the top already. Are you always angry while pregnant?..Get something to help calm you down…like listening to soothing music, meditate?. ..whatever suits you.
And also careful.not to neglect or be too horrible on your husband…most men cheats when their wife is pregnant.
Yes. He dismisses it and tells me she just “talks shit” and doesn't think about what he's saying sometimes.
I already do that but it’s not working.
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t want to disrespect his gf, that’s why I was concerned as to if he was with her when he kissed me since idk how long they knew each other. But you’re right. I never get feelings for somebody and I guess I realized it too late. Thanks for the perspective anyway
Automatic litter machines are amazing.
If he believes a person shouldn't have sex before marriage but he gives himself permission to have sex before marriage, he has ZERO INTEGRITY. Stop having sex with him immediately. See how long he calls himself “pro life.”
It sounds pretty odd to me, and very unfair to push someone like that.
will often make comments that I look/dress gay
What does this even mean? Just makes me think of those old homophobic jokes about lesbians wearing 'sensible shoes'. All kinds of people dress all kinds of ways, it's really not fair to make assumptions about someone based on what they look like.
In a world of fun sexual kinks, you choose missionary all the time
I guess fine on trying to get your girlfriend off before you do your thing, but your description of how you guys have sex is the driest thing I've heard since “Close your eyes and think of England”
Have you ever tried for just an extensive heavy petting session? To really pay attention to what she likes? Maybe not jackhammering for once? You may actually enjoy it. How about not treating sex like a chore and maybe add in some fun and intimacy?
You said you didn't want to do the whole routine – is that what sex is? Routine? no wonder it's not working. I can't say I feel much enthusiasm from you either about sex with her given your descriptions. You guys have some serious problems in the bedroom and you need to get them addressed OUT of the bedroom. Sit down and instead of saying she's low enthusiasm and putting it on her to make sex great, have a discussion about how to improve your sex life TOGETHER. Because, man, your enthusiasm levels are up there with jacking off to pornhub from what you wrote in this post.
Talk it out. With no blame, over coffee, openly. Be accepting of what the other person says. Don't be defensive – no one is born great at sex and the best of couples have to figure out how to work out well together. This isn't a romance novel. Put in the effort, be humble and see if it doesn't improve.
Or keep jackhammering and be miserable. Your choice.
Seconding this. Feeling uncertainty about my living arrangements nearly finished me off last year with an ex who asked me to move in, cried when I said I was using the money from my house sale to get a new one and then used his place as a threat for a year. It was vile, I hated every second of it and barely slept. I ended up skint, living back with parents at 36 and a complete wreck. Now I'm so much happier because I know I am safe.
I bought this book on the recommendation of my therapist and it is really good.
Please stay away from him, OP. This isn't your problem to fix any more.
Where I've done that work at multiple facilities, they have a doctor on around the clock for screening and admissions or they have Psychiatric PAs and NPs or licensed therapists (usually clinical social workers) who do intake assessments and staff the case with the psychiatrist. At least in my state, we are legally required to put the person in the least restrictive environment for care that they can be in safely. Which often just means discharging to the community and giving them the name of some outpatient mental health agencies.
I've not been in the reddest of red states, so it could certainly be a good bit worse in an Alabama or Mississippi.
A full day for a nurse to even speak with someone who can write orders and the patient never saw the assessor during that window sounds like negligence.