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I don’t know, she says it’s not for attention but what else is social media for. She says it’s like her personal life tracker and it’s just for herself.. but it’s really not when you have hundreds or thousands of followers. Our relationship is complicated and both of us have thought about leaving a lot, if I let every thing like this get into a big argument it still wouldn’t go anywhere.. maybe I should get ripped and start posting myself and say it’s to track my gains.. sorry for the long comment.
She does not love or respect you. If she did she would not flirt with a man, secretly meet him, and have sex with him, AND give him a bj.
You both deserve someone who will cater to your wants, needs, and boundaries. People change and people grow, sometimes apart. Your hostility towards his growth shows you don’t love him, and don’t have the best intentions for him. He deserves a god fearing woman. You deserve what ever it is you want. The best solution is to part ways. Him being military won’t be hot to find a better and more supportive wife. You being how you are will find you a partner who is more modern and open to a polyamorous couple option. Idk either way, you both deserve to be happy. Love is choosing to love them everyday. The point of this counseling is to show whether or not you are compatible. If you are uncomfortable then leave the relationship. He won’t be angry maybe he will be hurt but if he loves you he will understand. Just as you should understand this is about him and god not about what you think. The same way you want to be your own boss, he should be able to decide what is best for himself as well.
Finances are a common issue that cause relationships to fail. Especially serious relationships.
creep! how would you feel if you saw him doing that and he wasn’t your boyfriend?? grossed out i assume, even worse that he’s in a committed relationship
& so should you, but here we are
But she's not really alone. Her family is where she is. If the allergy is that bad, her sister and family can meet her in the hotel. They can go out together. The sister can put the cat away while she's there for dinner or gift giving.
It's not like she's in foreign country surrounded by strangers and she doesn't speak the language.
Sounds like she's trying to guilt trip you because you're with your terminally ill mother and not with her. That is not okay.
The fucked up thing is that you're right. She could find a job tomorrow and I'm not convinced that it would be enough. Damage has already been done.
To your points: We shared all household responsibilities until she lost her job and then i told her i expected that she would do more around the home. This includes all of the things you mentioned. They get done sometimes. I take care of anything involving math (bills).
It DOES sound uncaring. That's because it is. I'm starting to try and figure out what life would be like if the worst happened. And I'm basically asking if the sad i get right now is less than the sad i'd get without this relationship. That's a fucked up equation for any person. I'm here because i'm clinging to driftwood. I don't want to leave. I view that as a bad choice. But when the choice is between bad and worse, what do you pick?
I've been doing my part imo. I've been waking up every day for the last 10mo and choosing to love this person who may or may not be choosing to love me.
This should be the top comment! I absolutely agree. His morals and beliefs must come first, and be separated from any other political leanings like government control/national debt/etc.
In most schools only those authorized to do so can pick up the kids. So contact your school's administration to remove FIL's name from the list of people allowed to leave with the children. Then if your wife is lucid enough to have a conversation talk about whether she might recover more quickly in an in-patient psych facility rather than in the home of her (obviously unhinged) father. But ultimately, if the goal is to protect the kids you'll just have to make sure your FIL has no way to collect them or even get near them. You've also missed at least two opportunities to call of the police on this guy. Maybe stop being so passive about this.
He’s gaslighting u. He has no gold. And u know damn well u aren’t a gold digger.
Move on from him. He’s horrible
My step dad walked around in tidy whiteys all the time. While us kids would kind of roll our eyes, it was never considered sexual in my house.
Granted, I also like to chill out in just my panties at home now that I have my own place so your mileage may vary. I would say it would be fair to institute a dress code for everyone if you have to follow one in your own home. Must be ready and appropriate to take out the trash in what you’re wearing. Having a teenage girl around her mom’s boyfriend in a bra and panties is arguably inappropriate too.
This is great advice
As a woman here… these are a little different 🙂
She assumed the worst because of her past and we ended up breaking things off on the phone earlier. When I said we, I meant she.
oof. she is going to feel extra awful when she learns you are gone. You might consider leaving your letter for her with a note that her assumptions made it easier for you to do what you needed to do, so she should not feel bad. IDK. Her reaction was defensive and immature. But she will be devastated and need some closure. Not your responsibility, but since the main letter is already written, it would be a kind thing to do.
Either way, I hope you are able to check as much off your bucket list as possible and that your current plans work out as intended. All the best.
Excellent point! Another commenter made a very similar point. ?
ok? well, reality can be nasty. He's living a bachelor life, and he doesn't feel the need to change because he doesn't take your relationship seriously.
You can't take care of your health while you're there. Your health needs to take priority over spending time with some guy you have only known a couple months.
Honestly I wouldn't tell him at this point.
Yes, it will be hot and I'm sorry you have to make that tough choice, but the fact of the matter remains you should leave him and quickly. You deserve more and it will be somebody else's problem to fix him.
An underlying theme here that’s often overlooked. Your son did not ask to exist. You brought them into this world. Your child deserves your unconditional support and has every right to be feeling this way. You have a hot decision to make. Grandparents need to understand the world changes. They can get on board or kick rocks. And you need to decide how important your son is to you. And if you’re even hesitating then you need to unpack those feelings and biases inside. It’s a long road but if you want this, you can salvage this relationship and make it stronger than ever before. And you will learn an immense amount about yourself and the world on this journey. But you gotta stop caring about what others think.
Your sons safety and happiness should be your number one concern here as he has the right to exist as his authentic self. Full stop.
What do you want to believe? She has TOLD you straight up that she has no respect for you or your relationship. Getting intimate with another man with or without sex has to be a showstopper for you doesn’t it? Please don’t focus on the question of whether they had sex (almost certainly yes but you can never be sure). The lack of loyalty and consideration she straight up admitted to is more than enough to end the relationship. How would you ever trust her on a night out again?
Then you probably shouldn't be with a virgin dude. She's gonna go at her own pace as she should
Omg stop having sex with it because you’ll be tied for life, go see a lawyer, and talk to a therapist to find out why you, a seemingly ambitious person allowed a parasite to fester.
You know with all this parasite talk all I can picture is the movie alien vs predator and it erupting out of your gut.
No worries, talk to him and tell him how you feel, it's the best way forward.
I don't have negativity towards pot. I am a pot smoker. I'm concerned, because like many things, the poison is in the dose. No I don't see pot as all good. I don't see pot as all bad. Just like TV, or video games, or fast food, or the sun, or even drinking too much water can kill you.
My concern is not about the substance. It's the dose. My biological father (who I did not know well) was a heavy pot smoker and battled throat cancer off and on for 20 years until he died from it.
My parnter works outside too. He gets way too much sun. He doesn't wear sunscreen (I understand why for a variety of practicality based reasons). He's at high risk for skin cancer. I regularly check him. It would be silly to say that since I'm concerned about how much sun he gets, maybe I just shouldn't be with someone who gets so much sun. I think it's justified to have some concern. There's a difference between concern and judgement. It isn't judgement in either case.
Yes. There was really almost an ultimatum given .