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Teona and Anna(red head), 19 y.o.
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Look, you're interpreting these things as if we're only talking about pedo or grooming. There may very well be no grooming going on here. But that is NOT the only problem that arises from large age gap relationships!!!
Look, you have a child together and your relationship may be salvageable. But NOT if you are unwilling to accept and address the likely root of many of your issues- your large age gap. Does this mean you screwed up by getting pregnant by and marrying someone 12 years older at age 23? Yes, sorry. Can't take it back, so let's understand the problem and then what to do about it.
The main reasons that age gap relationships have so many problems are:
The younger (usually woman) is inexperienced and easy to manipulate, even in subtle / small ways. They have no idea what is normal and will tolerate things that a partner the same age as their SO would never put up with. The older partner is often immature and makes poor decisions, which causes them trouble when they try to date closer to their own age. The two partners are often at very different stages in life, with different desires, expectations, goals, and problems they face. There is a power imbalance inherent in any relationship, even healthy ones. But in an age gap relationship the power imbalance is much much larger and nearly always favors the older partner. Combine that with immaturity, inexperience, and a bit of manipulation, and voila. Bad relationship.
The only way to make these things work is for the younger partner to establish and rigidly uphold boundaries to keep problems in check. This is both not optional, and unfortunately establishing them may well end the relationship (and if it does, that's what must happen). Things will get worse before they get better, again, sorry.
In your specific case:
Showing you love and affection are not optional. This may take some time. Supporting your career and professional development are also not optional. Even though this may not be the most financially practical choice as a couple, it's still important to you and therefore not optional. His assistance with the baby is not optional, though with his work hours it may be limited. You need to be aware that the chances of him cheating on you are abnormally high. He might already be cheating, there's some warning signs. From your side, you will need to put in more effort into your appearance and body. I'm sorry, it really sucks, and until you're done breastfeeding it will be almost impossible to lose weight (so maybe consider formula if you aren't already). But in this situation, he was drawn to you because of your body and you are so much younger, sorry. If you can't meet what he wants, the above requirements are not going to be met without the relationship breaking. I wish I could say otherwise but again if you want things better despite the large age gap, you need to be very realistic about the problems, and his immaturity is one.
Doing the above may be difficult; a couples therapist may help you convey and establish those boundaries without breaking the relationship.
In conclusion, is the relationship over? No, this doesn't sound hopeless. But it is going to be very hot, and it will get worse before it gets better. Refusing to accept the large role that your age gap plays in the problems is doing you no favors.