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You haven’t done anything wrong, it’s not your job to look at his mri and interpret it, and you should get yourself into therapy as well. Also, you do not have to put up with the abuse just because it is caused by a brain tumor.
Actually, it makes perfect sense. You see, your statement “how can he choose to have a baby with…” is at its core erroneous. It is not a choice a man gets to make. Our options are dependent upon the woman’s decision to keep or to abort. And if a woman decides to keep, then a man’s choice is limited to whether he’s fully onboard, or if he’s all the way out. Now, presumably this is your first? Regardless, Mother Nature, in her infinite drunk idiocy, has devised this ass-backwards system of repopulation whereupon a woman goes through something truly terrifying- she incubates the progeny to the size of a football, then is forced into the agony of expelling it by first rearranging her pelvic bones like a freaking Transformer, then somehow, defying basic physics and geometry, ejecting said progeny through an orifice that never did anything to deserve such torture. And yet, despite the excruciating pain, despite the subsequent weeks of nursing this parasite that does little else but soil themselves and scream for any freakin reason, or lack thereof, despite those weeks turning into months, years, decades – despite all of this, Mother Nature manages to convince a woman that doing it all over again is “so worth it”…. ?♂️Now, consider that 12 years ago your guy went through his part of the experience. Likely realized that he’s unwilling to do it again, ever. He’s probably traumatized. In that light, his reaction makes perfect sense
She broke up with you. You went and got laid.
I don't see any problem with that at all. If she asks, tell the truth, if she doesn't ask, then that's between you and the other participating party. Not toxic at all dude.
Then you are probably bi. Just tell her, if she doesn't understand you two are not compatible and it's better to know now than in 10 years. Who knows, she might even be totally open to you being bi and watching the bi/gay born with you and toy around. You will never know unless you tell her.
This needs to be higher up in the post so others can see it before commenting ?
That’s a cool opinion and worth considering for sure but mines actually still really valid and you could’ve written your own comment with your own perspective. You don’t always have to try to correct or argue with someone when they don’t have your same mind set. I’ll just say again, I, and I’m not alone, wouldn’t want someone I did’t want to talk to 8 years ago to still be hung up on that and asking me why 8 years later. That’s very obviously not a stable person anyway to not have moved on for 8 years tbh. I’d feel stalked and I’m very much an adult too.
Thank you for your response. I very much appreciate it. There is a lot we didn’t specifically discuss before moving in, but we did say things would be split evenly. I can say that it seems more of the bills fall on my lap and truthfully he hasn’t made my life any easier financially. If anything, I have more bills now. And with his habit of threatening to leave when he fight, if and when he does, the rent and other bills will likely be my responsibility. Which truthfully I can’t afford this rent on my own. It’s a big house that depends on our two incomes. Meals were not discussed, but given that he has more time during the week after work, it makes sense he cooks dinner. When it comes to cleaning, I clean the entire house 90% of the time, him and his son only clean up after themselves. I never say anything about it because it doesn’t bother me. I feel like we should just pitch in when and where we can.
Bro, how many red flags do you need KEKW. You should have broken up in the moment they text way to much outside of work lol.
You mean like the fact that you'll likely get fired? Yes. Do be sure to take care of yourself. To heck with her – you got what you wanted.
In case the sarcasm flew over your head: Keep your cakehole shut. You're trying to couch this as, “Oh, bf deserves to know,” when in actuality it's blatantly retaliatory.
Op,
I think there is too much of a difference in you both economically. I don't think she can afford to spend that much money and ever since since the blowup you both had and how your parents feel about she doesn't feel good enough and probably checked out of your relationship.
I think it might be time to end it.
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You're not wrong for developing feelings for him, because his actions were romantic in nature. They are NOT the actions of “just a friend”.
You're probably going to have to back away, or set clear and firm boundaries, such as no hand holding or dates.
Thank you so much – I really appreciate the guidance and advice. This is our first real encounter with his parents like this (it’s been cordial and more distant the last few years so it was less of a problem and I could easily brush things off). My partner has said to give him a chance to prove that he will fix things so I’m trying to have faith that he’ll actually stand up to his mom.
But do you want to be woken up at 5:30 in the morning? Seems pretty clear from the post that you don’t.
I would advocate in this situation to leave. I try to be fair about things and well-rounded as much as I can. This is the time and family got together and he is meeting and getting familiar with everyone and he felt entitled to act this way. You are not married yet and the relationship hasn’t gone on for a long period of time. you really need to consider how this person would respect your family moving forward. If he is going to be critical and it’s just between you two that’s one thing but you throw food on the ground and openly criticize is blatant disrespect that nobody’s family should have to deal with.
Couples therapy with a trained sex therapist.
If I'm gonna try to take a more neutral position than others are here the 1st thing that I would think to ask is what's going on with his sexuality. If this is hot for him I want to know more about that. I want to know more about what hes not telling you about his sexuality. And based on that information is how you were decide whether or not you're as compatible as you think you are
People often lie because they know that if they tell the truth about who they are others will reject and abandon them. This is especially true around sexuality
Honestly I thought we were just seeing where things went. And he lost interest.
Have you told your girlfriend that in your opinion the only thing that makes her worth talking to is that she’s conventionally attractive? Wonder how that’ll go over.
Lol but you weren't able to, so suck it up ffs.
Why are they ridiculous for having standards. It's no different than saying you won't date a poor man who has no ambitions.
Depends on where you live!. The United States has historically imposed a strong presumption of paternity and has also imposed barriers to paternity challenges once paternity has been legally established. Other countries have paternity fraud, though.
Because you asked for it to satisfy your own selfish needs?
This is like when couples completely split their finances. When it doesn't work out for the one who did want to do it, they then ask the one who didn't want to to give them money.
No. You don't get to go back on your selfish requests. No you don't have ownership over her. No you don't get to say “she'd given me all she's got”, that consumerism. She's a woman not an old car.
You are hilarious.
You have to express it to your wife or you two will never have a good marriage.
Don't be with him. He can set whatever boundaries he wants, but that means he won't be compatible with most people. I don't know a single person I've ever met that would agree to a 30 minute timer for texting. My ex husband might have tried it if he thought about it though.
My answer would have been “you can fuck right off with that shit.”
You don’t see an issue with it because your codependent. When you’re not at work or doing things you logically know you have to do, you’re obsessing over whatever relationship you’re in and you base all of your free time off that. Most people have hobbies and not unhealthy obsessions.
When you’re not occupied with something else you could be texting him, and you struggle to accept that he doesn’t do the same. You need your own independence before you need a relationship. Healing from codependency is genuinely only something you can do single, and if you’re not able to do that then you’re not really healing, much less anywhere near being ready for a relationship.
I have 100% payments history. Always have paid early for everything. I just don’t have a long credit history since I am younger and I started my credit after college. My credit isn’t bad, it’s just short. My DTI is now really low due to that recent auto loan being paid off by insurance. It’s beyond me why I can’t get approved by myself.
Do NOT feel guilty for breaking up the family. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, and you deserve to feel like you want to be with your partner. You DESERVE to be happy. Would you want your kids to be in a relationship like yours and feel the way you feel?
You’ve given it a shot and then some; done the therapy, given him opportunity to make adjustments. You haven’t left anything undone, not that that’s a prerequisite to being able to leave or anything.
You deserve your mental health. You deserve happiness. Your child deserves the best version of you.
I suggest growing up. She’s moved on and you should too.
I know right! If you gonna fake a story, at least write a good one….jeez ?
I love personal freedom, thus I think that people even with opinions as toxic as yours should be allowed to express them, even if they shall go unheard or directly laughed at.
Sorry about your loss, guess you should have learned already… but saying that “some” people need help with addictions is a major undestatement, and you know it perfectly, and usingt it as an argument is in my view morally reprehensible.
Break up with him already.
It sounds as if he's still not emotionally mature enough to factor in how A) women are more than just fap fodder and B) how that would play into a respectful relationship
It sure would help to lose his dead weight!
I'd say there has been some bilateral poor communication, and then that zinger about “different maturity levels” makes me wonder if it's more than that.
You've tried to justify yourself (and what you said makes sense to me) but if she doesn't wanna, she doesn't wanna.
Talking to a therapist is, I think, a good idea.
What was the joke though? That’s the point. There is NO joke. You were just posting shit you thought was edgy – that was what you thought was funny about it – how much it would offend people – it’s edgelord shit and it was pathetic from the jump of the internet and it’s hilarious to see how the defenses are always the same.
You were just joking because to YOU racism is a joke, it’s something you only engage with in memes, but for your friends, they have to experience it. It is NEVER going to be funny for them and the ONLY reason it is “funny” to you is because your privilege allows you to not have to deal with the reality of racism.
I already did. Doubt she will, but her being a doormat doesn't change that he's the main problem here.
fuck all of those people, they sound grody. good for you going back to NC, who wants to be associated with such trashiness
and you'll do it alone, lol
I do therapy, I do constant appointments for medication refills. Nothing is changing. I’m extremely suicidal, have no friends, I think i’m still suffering from PPD in a way. I just know he’s going to get exhausted with me Ive been telling myself that, that’s why your comment hurt so much.