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1. As a parent, it's your job to stand with your child, no matter what. I'd get it if you were just curious about his condition and wanted to know more. But it sounds like you only want to know ways to console your in laws.

   And you “trying” isn't always good enough, especially if you're harming your son by enabling your in laws and not putting your foot down. As a mother, you should tell your in laws to shove it up their asses. Your son comes FIRST.

   Your son wants a mother that will stand up for him against his transphobic, ignorant grandparents. Your son wants a mother that will do research about transgenderism on her own time and won't bombard him with questions when he's already going through a difficult time.

   Imagine you had a life threatening illness and you were having a flare up that required treatment. Then your family starts asking you a bunch of questions and asking about what to say to the rest of the family. You'd be pretty exhausted from all of that and you'd likely feel uncomfortable.

   Or imagine your son was diagnosed with autism. As a parent, you should want to know everything about his condition that you could, without asking him a bunch of questions and making him exert mental labor explaining it to you.

   Take more time. Slow down. You very well may not save your relationship. But you need to accept your son's choices. Don't question them. But also do your part to educate yourself on his needs. Take it one day at a time. Apologize. Next time the in laws come around and start insulting your son, you set a boundary and tell them you will cut them out of your lives if they don't stop insulting your baby. Don't worry about what they think. Worry about your son.

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