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30 thoughts on “Swanky-ivy on-line sex chats for YOU!”
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Any choice you make means she’ll likely contact you again. You can leave it alone and hope she gets bored and leaves you alone (or reaches out in a year or two with a damn good apology, though it would have to be the best thing you’ve ever heard).
Two and three are essentially the same, just with differing degrees of candor. You have to ask is telling her to go away for you to feel a sense of catharsis or for her to offer her an explanation?
If you choose two and three, I would incorporate the following line: “I don’t want to discuss it, my mind is made up. Don’t contact me again, I will delete your messages without reading them.”
Just be firm with boundaries and make it clear the relationship is not one you want to pursue. Don’t worry about being civil, she’ll use any civility to weasel her way back in.
I wasn’t sure, so I thought I’d check. Mental health issues can be heritable, but I’m not sure that this is one of those. She doesn’t sound depressed as such, but it sounds like she has an unhealthy dependency on this marriage for all her emotional needs. That could just as easily be an attachment issue from childhood.
You know, the old: “They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to but they do. They fill you with the faults they had. And add some extra, just for you.”
If everyone cared about their mental issues and personal brand of fucked-upness being inherited by their children then no one would have kids.
Thank you. I appreciate your comment. Our relationship has taken a deeper dive down over the last couple of days and I don't think there's anything I can do. I know I don't want to be in a relationship like this, and we're now talking about selling our house and going our separate ways
You mean your Ex-Boyfriend?
Nope. You were looking after a friend and just relating what you’d heard—not passing it off as gospel truth.
I’d confront her (outside of work) if I were you. You didn’t do anything she wouldn’t have done for her best friend, for sure.
nasty dirty snake = gross stinky roast beef
pretty equivalent insult if you ask me
If he's not cleaning hazardous stuff out of his own house, I doubt he's cleaning himself in any kind of serious way either.
Don't catch a UTI.
Thank you. You bring new insight into things ive never thought about and thank you for not bashing on me as many people would. However although yes i do tell her these things, my intention isnt “let me fix you” its more of “ let me help you because you dont seem to be helping yourself” because she doesnt put much time and effort into tackling her mental health issues
But this is great advice, we will definitely both look into this. Will let you know if this helps.
Thank you, your a beautiful human being!
I understand the “cold feet”, or having self doubt about parenting and the awesome responsibility that comes with it can be very scary when reality sets in.
Your 4 months pregnant!!! You both have planned for this for a long time. You personally went through a lot to get pregnant. IVF is not cheap! It's expensive.
A couple I know sold their house and moved in with family just to afford the treatments. You were fortunate it happened on your first round! Bless you and your baby!
Your husband needs reassurance and support. Maybe lamas classes and parenting education might help him as well. Father groups. A mentor? Just throwing some ideas out there for you.
You will not forgive yourself if you try to abort this child. To much time, energy, effort and most importantly LOVE are in you and your child.
Good luck, and start thinking of names!! Peace
Are they any type of specific fabric?
Depending on how she is hormonally speaking, changes with age or medication and all, she might be needing the shirt or feeling more comfortable with it on. Because of some medication i started to sweat a loooot at night when sleeping naked, like i would wake up in a bathtub. But with a shirt on, nothing (almost, scalp still a bit sweaty). So i think her putting on shirts out of nowhere can be innocent.
Daughter's bf's shirts is weird. But if they are made of a specific fabric that she or you don't have, it may also be innocent. Or a size she doesn't have, a shape she doesn't have. Basically it'd no longer be the guy's shirt, anything left behind is up for grabs and she noticed that this specific kind of shirt makes her feel more comfortable
Sounds like someone who doesn’t know what they want in life
I’d rent the home and either move in and renew the lease with her or look for new place in the city you both can budget.
I’m not going to pile on because I recognize where you’re at in your journey. But I just want to point out that you’re still blaming yourself for his behavior.
I see why she fell out of love with you.
I know. I said he will know in that paragraph.
I guarantee as a woman you have men flirting and checking you out all the time too. Like why say this? You could ask him if he wants the run down on every guy that is interested or hits on you on the weekly. Seems like he wants you to know he is high value or something. It’s kinda weird idk. He can tell these women he’s in a relationship and hopefully nip this stuff in the bud, what does telling you this gain?
You are just getting to really know each other. I think your expectations are super high but if that’s what you need, find someone else.
Yeah I don't stick around at all after getting rejected and No point taking it to heart, not everyone is gonna like you lol
Exhausted just skim-reading this.
So, your husband is not invited either…
It changes things a lot.
How should you feel?!?! You should feel frightened and doubtful of the relationship. If you 2 live! together, it's time for one of you to move out, and for you to hand his ring back to him, telling him you will NOT live with a physically, psychologically and emotionally abusive partner. Then you need to move on with your life. Work on your mind, body, soul, education and profession. And stay the heck away from men for awhile.
Are bisexual people never allowed to drink with anyone, then?
Just dont marry and try and make the money yourself
Idc what country or religion has arranged marriages anymore, but no, you dont have to marry anyone you don't want to
OP, a lot of good advice here so I will not repeat if…
I want to share with you a line from “Merely we roll along”
“Dreams don't die so keep an eye on your dreams”
Keep taking care of yourself.
I don’t think market rate is reasonable to aim for, but while it will be your home, it will not be your house.
And when you say you are willing to pay all the “operating costs”, does that include paying half of any property taxes, repairs, appliance replacements, renovations, damage, etc?
If the house needs a new roof or furnace are you comfortable with paying half of what might be many thousands of dollars into a house that you have no ownership of and have no equity in?
Personally, I think it would be smarter for both of you to agree on some amount for rent that could be used to cover the routine and unexpected, large costs that can be associated with homeownership. Then when those big costs come up, he is responsible for managing them since he is the home owner.
In your shoes I’d be happy to split routine, fixed costs for living together and then give my partner a couple hundred more a month so that they are fully responsible for the big house costs. I think it’s actually an excellent deal for you.
I’ve already agreed to pay $1k to cover utilities, insurance, reasonable repairs, home and yard maintenance, and taxes. He wants an extra $500 to make it closer to market rate which I feel like is not necessary.
Ok so you now have stipulations put on you when you’re allowed to talk to him? And when he does want your attention it’s for his own pleasure or gratification?
You say you’ve talked to him about this and he keeps dismissing you…..So clearly he doesn’t see this as a problem and will continue to do it whilst you put up with it
Time to give him the ultimate ultimatum and move out….He’s not going to change and please take this as a lesson that this is why you don’t move in with someone so quickly
but he spends 3-7+
During this time I am not allowed to talk to him
because he’s using my computer I can’t even do
The only times he will intentionally hang out with me are for about 15 minutes when he wants sex
he gets mad at me for saying no
he will give a basic “mhm” answer to anything I say or just ignore me entirely
I know he is not paying attention to me.
I’ve brought this up to him several times … but nothing changes.
Look at all these lovely flags and issues i've highlighted above.
So can I take him at his word
Why ? you have been already and look where thats gotten you. you obviously can't.
When he isn’t on the computer all the time he’s usually a really good boyfriend
I hate this excuse people use alot.
” When hes' not doing TOXIC STUFF, he's lovely! ” well of course.. ” When it's not raining, its dry! “… such a redunant coping statement, because you know he's toxic and are trying to justify tolerating it.
you cannot be « not legally married », marriage is an agreement where a lot of insurance, housing, health, mortgage, in case of death things are important.
if you’re ok with it then i’m happy for you but it sounds like your doubts are sliding into relationship doubts so you might wanna sit with your feelings for a while
Yeah you've only been dating for 4 months and she's pregnant all of a sudden. Get a DNA test. ASAP!