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It’s the mid-week, company-wide slumber party that’s weird. If this were one night on a weekend? Or if they were having some sort of multi-day event? But to have a party with so much drinking that the company is providing a hotel room for every employee? And still, seemingly, expecting them to get up the next morning and … Go To Work ?!? Whaaaaaat??
I was all for the wife attending a company event that might be networking heavy that she doesn’t want to have to worry about her husband but … BUT … there’s a whole lotta WTF kind of company is hosting this kind of party?
He's manipulating you. Please don't fall for it. Anyone who won't respect your “No” is trying to control you. Does he think you have agency to refuse to have sex whenever you don't feel like having it, or does he feel entitled to that at his will, as well?
When the nearest hotel is 200kms away I don't have that luxury.
Well good for her for talking to you about it but my gut says there is probably more to it. The fact she hasn't shut down all unnecessary interaction with hi is telling.
What did you do to your girlfriend for her to have this reaction..?
Is there any history between you guys, beyond the leash one? Was it the first time this happened? How did you react when he shared his concerns? It seems like some elements are missing, as the story jumped from “he told me he can't trust me with the dog” to “texted that I should go ruin somebody else's life”. What happened between these two events (if it's not too intrusive)?
This is not really a communication issue, though? He's deleting messages, he already knows he is pushing boundaries. He just doesn't care.
If two years it didn't happen it's not gonna happen now.
The most important thing for OP is to look out for her children’s wellbeing. Children should be raised in a home where they are wanted and loved, not merely a home where their safety isn’t completely disregarded.
And backstab his wife?
Get a psychotherapist.
I think you need to decide if this is something you can live! with. It’s not something I would be ok with. But I wouldn’t have stuck around for. 2 years of it already.
Everyone else said the same essentially but thank you for laying it out the way you did. I don’t like it and I’m bracing for shit to get weird, but you’re right it’s outta my hands
yeah, like the choice is obvious.
Five and a half years means she’s likely been with him since she was 19 and he was 32 ? and she’s ended up parenting him wasting her 20s stuck to being housemaid.
How is this inappropriate for your girlfriend to “pull” in a committed relationship? Especially if you have no reason to think that she'll cheat on you? I mean, you never said your girlfriend accepted, and she can't control that she was invited. Do you expect to be invited every time she's invited out by her friends? Right now, this sounds like a baseless insecurity or an unchecked belief that you should question, OP.
Anyways, you should be more concerned about her safety, because she's probably a victim of something here. She's known these people for a short time, yet they're inviting her to travel to a foreign country with them, for what? Why are they going to Spain? Why is she invited when they've known each other for such a short time?
Bring this up to your girlfriend, make sure to use “I” statements so she doesn't get too defensive, and question her don't overwhelm her with too much contradictory information. If you focus on asking questions, you'll help your gf critically examine how weird this situation is, and how unsafe it is. Also make sure to communicate you're worried fir her safety, and that you love her. If this group is a cult or something, it's important not to alienate your gf, because they're probably already working on that front. Bringing her to a foreign country far from you is already doing a lot of legwork on that front.
I’m curious how it happened tbh. I was with my ex for 12 years and I think I only called her by her name a couple of times… ever. And never once during sex
Names in sex sounds weirdly formal in my head
Some of these are completely reasonable. Some of them are overboard but not necessarily abusive per se. General respect and patronization, dressing somewhat modestly, and not being in compromising situations around other men feels fine to me. On the other hand, some of them definitely borderline controlling.
The bigger issue, here, is the fact that the rules are so exact and written down. It points to some major worries he has, sounds like a bad experience in the past.
Give him pushback on the ones you disagree with. If he won't budge, then you're with the wrong person.