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Sorry to tell you but you was just a side piece lmao
I think for me it's very much knowing how mad connected we are, knowing she is struggling *a lot* mentally, so feeling it could be a right person wrong time situation
If she was just in the hospital and taking strong medication to the point she’s blacked out, no sex. I’m not saying you raped her but it sounds like she may not have been able to give consent.
leave
Look, ask to meet him. If you trust her, and she trusts you, then you are fine. If she doesn't want you two to meet that's an email issue.
Would you be able to have your dad there digitally?
Not sure how tech savvy he is, but it would be an option other than choosing “his side or yours”. That way he would still be in on the festivities in some way.
LEAVE
Haha thanks, I take it as a compliment. I must've passed the reverse Turing test then.
It was rhetorical lmao.
Don't sell. Rent and move in with her.
If you guys don't work out, you have your place.
This is going to sound harsh, but I swear to you that I have your best interest in mind when I say this.
The only correct answer when receiving a TEXT MESSAGE from an s/o, be they man or woman, saying they “really do love you but want a break” is to respond:
LOL k
And then never speak to this person again. Over a text. Lmao. The disrespect alone should motivate you to follow this advice.
The thing is, it’s the only correct answer. The type of person who would pull this on you deserves it, but also unfortunately it’s likely to be the only thing they would emotionally respond to eventually.
Of course, when they day DOES come? I highly advise you to continue on with N/C…. but ultimately that’s up to you.
You’re involved in a long term relationship with a woman who isn’t divorced yet & still living with her HUSBAND…
Grow a pair and end it today. Stop making excuses. Why are you prolonging your misery? You will not be “ the good guy”. You aren’t compatible.
Letting you volunteer at shelters is not a compromise, because why would he ever have a say in that?
When you say “you’re not too worried about marriage or kids” does that mean you definitely don’t want them? Or that you’re dealing with it for now. Because all these restrictions won’t give you the space to figure out what you actually want if you hadn’t been 100% sure.
So I think you need to take a really good look at the life he’s offering you. Does it look like the life you want? Because it’s not just about a dog. He’s denying you any sort of attachment to pet, child or through marriage. Which is fine if that’s what you want. But if that seems a bit off with what you want, you won’t get happier with it, just more resentful. I’m which case it’s kinder to you both to find someone else now.
If you are completely okay with no marriage and kids with no regards of what boyfriend wants, then it’s just the dog issue. Maybe buy your own house and keep a dog there. Tell him he can move in whenever he’s ready!
I appreciate your perspective. If things hit the fan I would be able to rent my own place out. I’ve been on my own paying for my own places for a very long time so I wouldn’t necessarily be dependent on him. More worried about the impact it would take on my son if we didn’t workout. I had a good feeling about it up until last night when he confirmed he doesn’t love me yet.
What makes him a loser? It sounds like he is wanting to work on his future to improve his situation in life. One question is: is this just talk or is he taking action to get there? Another question is: do your timelines match up or is there a big gap between them?
You are free to move on if you’re not confident that he will be able to give you want. You need to listen to yourself here and be honest with yourself.
First, he never should have accepted that boundary.
And you said that you were ghosted over a dozen times by other men for it.
Why are your desires more important than his?
Do him a favor and break it off. You're a selfish person who can't meet a partner even a little bit of the way.
what makes you say that?
Have you ever done couple's therapy with your wife?
You are throwing her under the bus, but you found out about this child in 2021 and now he is living there with your wife and your sons. Your wife probably takes care of him, cooks for him, does his laundry.
I don't know this community, but maybe she really didn't know what to say. It clearly sounds like you don't even talk to each other!
This was a shock for you (finding you had a son) but also for her. If these people are religious, it's probably even worse for her, since she is the one who is friends or seeks community from them.
Yeah like a bunch of people are assuming OP is constantly tardy and that that is the issue. If it were such an issue I’d have assumed any decent person would have talked to OP about it before this instance. Either there’s info or this guy is an asshole
Omg that poor women, your husband is crazy, do what your doing gather more evidence, she needs to block his number and avoid him at all cost,
Show the lawyer all the message and the women is getting more proof he stalking her then she can file a restraining order and you and kids can get the hell away from him.
Be safe he is crazy.
well stop coming here asking for advice there isn’t a magical answer were going to give u. The only answer is the one thing u dont want to do which is leave him either gain some self respect and leave or stop looking for other people to have a magical non existent answer.
I hate post like these 10 pages long of red flags and reasons to leave ppl give advice then they dont want to take it.
Who doesn't keep a back up? It doesn't make her a cheater for having someone on the back burner. You've only recently gotten together so before she rebuffs thus guy permanently she wants to make sure your relationship is going somewhere. If you are too insecure to trust her then that's your problem.