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That's gotta suck majorly. It sounds like you and your bf have a pretty solid relationship based on honesty and trust, but it looks like that trust may have been broken. It's tough when people don't follow through on their promises. It sounds like you're trying to be considerate of his friend who sent the video, and that's admirable, but it's important to remember that your feelings and well-being are important too.
It's understandable that you feel shocked, lied to, and betrayed. It's important that you communicate your feelings and address the situation with your bf. It might be helpful to approach the conversation with a clear and specific explanation of how you feel and why. You can also ask him to explain his side of the story, but it's important that he understand that his actions have hurt you.
It's also important to remember that drinking doesn't define who a person is. People make mistakes and sometimes slip up, but it's how they handle those mistakes that really matters.
In the end, if this is a dealbreaker for you, then it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your bf about how you feel and what you need. If this isn't something you can move past, then it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. But, If you do decide to continue the relationship, make sure to establish some clear boundaries and have an open communication about what you expect from him. Good luck
All of that can and most likely is doing damage. You only watch the porn as it happened. None of the after effects.
Their choice, their problem.
But we are not talking about pornstars, we are discusing OP Gf. She will have to deal with only one penis (average size most likely) once in a while, being penetrated by someone who cares for her. She wont have her asshole blown out daily by a whole cast of porn actors who dont give a shit about her and/or 3-4″ thick dildos.
Do any of the therapists in your area also offer tele health? It’s usually covered by insurance.
The second thing, how the fuck she has been needed the therapy for 10 years? Like, from the age of 10? What?
You don’t need to convince him. The matter isn’t up for discussion and it’s non-negotiable. Find a therapist who takes your insurance, or that you can afford, make an appointment and go. Your husband can be mad about it, but he is not a mental health professional and if he is it would be very unethical for him to accept you as a client and that’s the long and the short of it. In your shoes I would tell him that seeking therapy from a licensed independent professional is important to you and he needs to support you in that.
If he tries to make a big deal about this or prevent you from going, or dissuade you further, I would look for other instances where he may try to isolate you or make you rely on him. Is he nervous that a therapist might point out flaws in him? That a therapist might make you second guess your relationship. Or perhaps that a therapist might change you in a way that makes him uncomfortable or inconveniences him? It’s worth thinking about his motives here.
Sorry but reading your combatative reply to me and everyone else about this deadbeat loser who is stringing you along and has been for years despite so many warnings and (solicited) advice that you've ignored, I have to conclude that you're chronically pathetic. I hope you can turn your life around before it's all wasted.
We had this issue where whenever I needed him he wouldn’t really be there and it slowly affected our rls so much that we almost broke up and he has been trying. Today when I said I was down he ask me to talk to him about it but I said it’s okay because I was afraid that it might turn into a fight like it always used to. But in the end he called me which was something I appreciate because I always told him a simple phone call would make things easier but I didn’t feel better listening to his advice. I just felt more low.
You got MARRIED at TWENTY TWO after 2 years of NOT BEING IN THE SAME CITY WITH HIM? What the fuck were you even thinking??? Why would you think you even knew him well enough to have a serious relationship with him, let alone GET MARRIED?
Lol yep that’s literally what an ultimatum is. Why did you guys get married when she wasn’t clear on your beliefs?? Did you not discuss that beforehand? Either way, you can’t change your entire belief system for someone else. It will not work, because religion doesn’t work that way unless you’re brainwashed, and it’ll lead you to resent her. I’d go to couples therapy and try to work through this where you can have your differing beliefs. Personally, I don’t care if someone I’m with has a different belief than me that’s as similar as you guys have. I think she should respect that
Other perspective is that you got in a relationship and now that it's not working he's in for a back up.
Like you only felt sorry that you ghosted him because your new relationship did not go as you would hope.
Yup, thanks it's exactly my point. Stop victimizing yourself if you weren't one:)
Well then, tell because it was hot for me to imagine, but I'd like exemples
Size matters whether you orgasm or not. Sex can be extremely satisfying and pleasurable even without the orgasm. Are you saying that because a woman can't orgasm from penetration that it doesn't matter if the the penis is big, small or average? She can still feel it so her preference matters, whatever size that preference is. She still deserves to enjoy penetration from the right sized man regardless of if she climaxes or not
Break up, 7 months isn't a long time and you really messed up. He's not taking it well and you've done nothing about it but feel really really bad. Not good enough and you aren't in, “the right place” to try. Welcome to consequences for my actions chapter one.
did you even read what you just replied to?
“reading through your comments, he has a lot of problematic ideas and behaviours” read OPs comments, it’s not just about the test.
I can imagine that’s difficult if that is how she reacts. If you guys are on the same page then in time it will get better. He also needs to approach the convo with his mother without saying this is what YOU asked for. Instead, it needs to be conveyed as what HE wants so there is no lingering resentment.
How does your assistant act with you? Be honest. Does act flirty? Send you texts? Act too familiar with you? You may not see it and may find yourself enjoying the attention. Your wife may be seeing a change in your behavior where you are acting interested….and you are blowing her off saying that's not case. Until there is that one night or day where your working together and something clicks and you cross a boundary…..emotional cheating that can slip easily into physical cheating.
Seriously…you two get to therapy. Make the time.
I think you're making an issue where one doesn't exist. You're obviously going to the wedding. Why do you keep bringing it up?
Loll people don’t care about you as much as you think they do. And I don’t mean you personally. In general, other people don’t have the time to worry and stress about you or your hobbies because they’re busy focusing on their own. Life got much easier once I understood that.
Good the. the ball is in his court. Let him contact you next. Good luck. Use this time for you !!
How long have you been dating ?
You’re not racist but She is
Leave the dumb b****
You're right to be mad, but I wouldn't get mad until you ask her if she's willing to reimburse you or split it some way somehow? Yeah, she created a problem. If she's not willing to help you solve it, then get mad.
We've talked about this a few times and while she acknowledges the issue and appreciates me bringing it up, it never leads to any long term changes and she falls back into old habits. I feel like at this point I have to be very blunt and address it and if nothing changes then that is who she is and I have reevaluate whether I want to be in a relationship with someone like that.
Well, she offered. You’re the one who wants help. I think the ball is in your court for that one.
As for the other plans, seems like that’s just the dynamic you two have. I know for me, I’m usually the one having to organize everything and make all of the decisions so it’s nice for me when my partner takes charge so I don’t have to.
I would imagine not. This is someone you loved and had a life with. I've been married 30 years, and if it ended, even badly, this is someone I had a life with and would still have spot in my heart for them.
The second to last paragraph knocked me out. Girlfriend, this man is weaponizing your vulnerability and using your emotions against you to get what he wants – your money and control.
Yours, mine, and ours is totally a thing and it’s something that allows you to retain your autonomy in a relationship. This is a red flag for me. Why is he so unwilling to compromise? Why is something wrong with you if you don’t do what he says? Why is it you have trust issues for wanting to have financial independence but he isn’t a walking red flag for wanting total monetary control?
Nahhhh this is a hill to die on. Money is a leading cause of divorce. BOTH of you should be in therapy over this. Do not let this man talk you into surrendering anymore of your agency away without addressing why he isn’t doing the same. If he won’t go to therapy I suggest two things:
Ask for a prenup. If he freaks out, dip. Run like hell. If he agrees, get with a lawyer and protect yourself. If he’s so big on trust, a prenup should excite him.
On kami, just breakup. This is too much for someone so young. Safe yourself the hassle of a divorce down the road.
Um, if he's doing something that he knows will make you mad and therefore needs to hide, then he's kind of just an asshole. He needs to not do the things he knows are wrong. It's not that difficult. He doesn't sound like much of a good partner.
Don't listen to the idiots in this thread, OP, your wife is clearly up to something suspicious. You need to stress how uncomfortable you are with this entire scenario and if she respects you as her husband then she won't go to this outing.
Don't listen to the idiots in this thread, OP, your wife is clearly up to something suspicious. You need to stress how uncomfortable you are with this entire scenario and if she respects you as her husband then she won't go to this outing.
Don't listen to the idiots in this thread, OP, your wife is clearly up to something suspicious. You need to stress how uncomfortable you are with this entire scenario and if she respects you as her husband then she won't go to this outing.
This is why you wait until both people have worked on themselves before dating.
Calling you toxic and manipulative is very big of someone who insisted on you quilting your job to spend time with them.
Toxic people almost always think others are the problem.
Block, delete and move on.
Yeah, it wasn't nice of you to be telling friends about it but it looks like you got out on time.
Updateme!
I believe what you're looking for is called a sugar daddy, not a boyfriend.
I don’t know anyone who finds a flaccid penis and balls attractive. Im sure there’s someone out there who does, but I’ve not met one yet.
Sweat pants are just sloppy anyways. That’s like your GF wearing pajamas out except with the added bonus of essentially exposing yourself to people who don’t want to see your junk.
I do remember dancing with him it was not handsy at all, we were a full arm’s length apart