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I am old and my partner and I have been together for years. I planned a trip to go see a friend and when we were discussing it, I told her my partner’s birthday was on X and I either needed to be home before that day or leave after that day. That is exactly what your BF should have done. Told Kiara that his anniversary was on X and VD is the 14th. He could go before or after but he had to be home on those days. It’s not nude. If you care for and respect your partner it should be automatic. Friends are great but your partner should always be your first priority.
I agree with you about the job. Exit the restaurant business, it won’t be sustainable long term. Too many hours running and on your feet and as you age, fewer tips and opportunities too. Restaurants are a young people’s field. Look for something with time off and opportunity for advancement. Your BF has lots of freedom and time off plus he gets to travel. Look for jobs that give you chances to do those things. If you need to pick up some new skills, do it. Start investing in your own future.
Make sure to keep your money separate. He has no problem paying for big time trips with his friends. Make sure you are not financing or contributing to his fun times that don’t include you. I think you may be much more invested in this relationship than he is! Sorry!