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Say no. You don’t have to feel bad, you don’t have to sugarcoat it , don’t say “I’m, maybe” “idk” just say the word “no” and continue on with what you were talking about or doing and if they ask again “I said no.” Don’t hesitate, don’t change your mind keep saying no they will eventually stop and if not just cut them off. If you want to you can explain and tell them they’re taking advantage of you and your partner and its not gonna work out continuing your friendship. But personally I’m kinda a bitch and would straight up be rude lol
And that’s where I’m at right now the situation happened like 3 or 4 months ago and I have been trying to show I want to be fully committed and for a while we were actually going really good after it originally happened it only was brought up again last night as she asked me why I did that originally
When you bring stuff up to them, are you calm or do you have a tone/angry? Does she has history of abuse from previous relationships?
Oh man I did the exact same thing to my ex when my dad passed. And he told me to fuck right off. 🙁 im so sorry for your loss boo
There are so many red flags in this post it is heartbreaking to read. He doesn't love you. Someone who loves you would not do these things to you. They would not want you to feel uncomfortable, they would listen to your concerns. It is NOT normal for a heterosexual couple to force a girl to sleep with another girl. That's HIS kink and he's forcing it upon you. I hope you have family or friends you can trust because you need to get out. People like him love younger women because they're inexperienced and easy to manipulate (sorry to say, I don't mean to offend, but in the world of dating you have 0 experience. It's probably #1 why he chose you aside from #2, your young age) Instead of arguing about leaving, just get your stuff and go. It may feel like love, but you still have rose colored glasses on, you're still convincing yourself of the good parts. The bad parts are weighing more heavily here.
No, it's my parents' responsibility to handle this, but they aren't doing so, so that leaves me.
Some of them are titanium now
Yes. It does not make sense I know.
You broke up with her. She wasn’t in the wrong for kissing someone else. Maybe next time you should figure out if you really want to break up with someone before you actually do it.
Sounds like a reasonable way you handled this.
You don't owe anyone an expectation. I wouldn't give one.
Just say personal differences drove you apart. I wouldn't get involved further unless there was demonstrable risk to someone else (e.g. he is alone with another friend's underage child and you suspect danger).
So what am I supposed to do with my money? Be stingy and stash it away for myself? It’ll obviously go towards him and my future family.
It is absolutely awful that you place more importance on superficial nonsense than your daughter's happiness. You're an awful mother.
Depression is….Major. I feel like being depressed is easy. I just crawl into my hole and ignore things. Climbing out of that hole is the naked part (for me).
I have to reconnect with all of the friends I ignored. I seriously need to clean my space. And I need to find my mojo.
Maybe this is what she’s doing right now….just trying to feel better and it sounds like it’s coming along.
How do you feel about being friendly, but applying no pressure to get together?
No one would blame you if this is all too much for you. The relationship is newish.
Do you actually want to be friends with her, if you never had a chance with her for the rest of your life would you be happy being her friend? If you are considering the possibility of eventually getting with her, spare yourself the pain, don’t start a friendship where you will continue to dawn over her.
If this is real your entire social life is going to fucking implode. Good luck because you're gonna need it.
If this is real your entire social life is going to fucking implode. Good luck because you're gonna need it.
Idk seems normal, I’d probably do the same for my ex.
Going out of her way to make you feel ugly and destroying your self-confidence is mean, even if she acts nice when she says it.
It seems like you’ve come to realize that the practical benefits from a legal marriage may have some value to the two of you, even if you still don’t have any interest in the pageantry that often goes along with marriage.
That seems perfectly reasonable, and something that you could easily mention in reference to someone else’s recent or upcoming wedding. “So and so’s wedding got me thinking about some of the things that might be useful about being legally married…”
Those reasons are why I married my husband (after having a shared mortgage for about 8 years).
You have to respect her decision for waiting on having sex and if that doesn’t set well with you then just be honest and upfront and tell her how you feel. It’s better for both of you to go your separate ways now rather than later after deep feelings have already started.
You may be right. I know that my sister and I complained to one another a lot growing up and looking back, I don’t think it was healthy. I grew out of it but my sister did not.
Back to my teen, I think limiting her to some “complaint time” would do her good. Thanks for the feedback.
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Maybe have them look at his sugar levels. If they are off, it can make people weird. Ask his doctor to do a full panel blood workup.
Ask yourself this: would you be okay if the woman decides not to have an abortion?
There is no guarantee she said that or that if she did, she will follow through.
Personally, I wouldn’t take him back. He only came clean cause she is pregnant. But that is up to you.
But you really need to consider if you stay, what happens if h has a child from his affair partner.
Everytime he criticizes your Korean, speak English instead. After your reply, let him know it's his turn to speak English and you will make sure to correct any grammar mistakes he makes.
At least you make an effort.
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If she’s not happy now, wait until it’s full grown and not trained because she doesn’t want to put the work in
she wants me to only stick with the male friends , but it's a mixed group i can't like single out the guys or to have a group discussion of only males , they're all friends it's gonna be super weird and i doubt they'll even agree much on it, after all we all knew each other the same time, and we're practically all at the same level of friendship
Just a movie I haven't seen it yet but if there are 2 girls making out I hope she understands that they are blue people That's controlling if she doesn't allow u to watch a movie.
When you only talk about her weight, you don’t seem to actually be concerned about her “unhealthiness”.
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Wow. Your wife wants to sexually please you on your birthday and then make you a BLT. And now you post on reddit to complain about it? Even though you pretty much hurt your wife's feelings. You could of squeezed her boobies and said make me that sandwich baby and I will give you a good pounding after. First world problems at its finest.
Wow. Your wife wants to sexually please you on your birthday and then make you a BLT. And now you post on reddit to complain about it? Even though you pretty much hurt your wife's feelings. You could of squeezed her boobies and said make me that sandwich baby and I will give you a good pounding after. First world problems at its finest.
She's already said she finds him really funny and that he's a “puppy dog.” Pretty sure this chick is just as much an immature bigoted moron as her “edgy” child lover. But if she can find a reeeaaaaally immature transphobic 25-year-old, then maybe.
Nope. It’s gone. You shouldn’t have given it to her. Consider it a lesson learned. Move on and grow from your mistake.
Naw why would I block, he’s gonna be 19 soon tho, and I’ll be 22 for a while cuz I have a December birthday
This is abuse. Straight and simple. And he has anger issues which could very well escalate to something dangerous. Plan a safe exit and never look back.
Run for the hills
Lmao exactly. You’re not the exception, you’re the rule.
There’s no winning here for you. I grew up the fat child of a beautiful petite mom. After the initial Cuteness wore off, I ALWAYS got comments comparing me to my mom as young as 8/9. It didn’t help that her favorite niece looked just like her too, and was always considered he prettiest in our family, Turned out years later that I had a condition that caused me to gain weight, and after treatment, management of my condition, I lost the weight. I didn’t hate my mom because she was beautiful. I hated her because she never made me feel beautiful. I resented the look that she had that said she agreed with people – how could she, the lady too skinny to push out her own children, have a fat kid? It wasn’t always. But it’s a face I’ll never forget. Our relationship is okay now. She’s not an awful mom but she never was a great one either. The saddest thing is I do believe she would have been a better mother had I never been a fat kid. There’s more to why your daughter feels so insecure and triggered by you. And she’s the one you should be listening to openly and without judgment. We are just shooting darts in a dark room.
OPPROBRIUM! Haven’t seen that word in a naked minute. Your insight on his dad seeing him as a child is a salient one. That’s something all parents have to contend with as they navigate a changing relationship with their adult kids.
Tell him it’s too much too fast and move on. He’s infatuated, not in love and is too emotionally immature to recognize it. It’s been 4 days, move on and don’t ignore this massive red flag. It’s absolutely not normal to say I love you after 4 days.
Either tell him it’s too much and to please no longer contact you or just stop replying. You don’t owe him a detailed explanation and difficult convo after 4 days.
I question my worth because how could he give me up so easily for someone random?
It's not about your worth – from what you've described, he seems to be in denial of his feelings, or at least prone to change his mind on a whim. Also, no one of value will ever pressure you into sex.
he “couldn't forgive me for abandoning him”
That's a bit dramatic, IMHO. If there really were such deep issues that you broke up with him, he would surely know about them, and understand why.
How will I ever recover?
You will recover once you realize that your value should not be based on how others treat you. Your value is based on you you treat others. Losing a relationship that you're invested in is always tough, but it's not the end, especially at 22. You'll be fine, it will just take time.
Ouch ?
Hmmmm. Just break up. Y'all are both over it so just do it.
I am curious what you said though. Learn from your mistakes. It's the only way to change and become a better person.
Disagreements will always happen, so learning how to handle naked conversations should be on the top of your list. Good luck op.
So? She got a tattoo on HER body that SHE wanted. Did she need your permission or something? Does she need to run these things by you? We’re you under the impression you had a say?
If something as small as a tattoo makes you this uncomfortable you should leave so she can find a more secure partner.
Because I lack the motivation. I got fired for literally not going to work for two weeks, no call no show. I’m probably depressed but I don’t feel depressed. I had depression before but what I feel now is different than I remember.
To be fair, Paris is the top destination worldwide for tourists, so it stands to reason that there are lots of stories about the place.
There were gypsies roaming in the Metro for a while but I think the council put a stop to it.
I’m not shocked by this at all. It seems perfectly logical that someone’s only able to remember what shocked them and stood out to them because everything else was insignificant in comparison to what was unexpectedly said.
As an asexual, that's so crazy to me
The 3rd date? You barely know them and are trusting the risk that you'd be stuck with them if pregnancy occurs? STDs?
Well, if you’re going to him for relationship advice, maybe that’s not the best thing for someone who’s going to married
I don’t give no fucks about no goddamn sorry that damn word is a fucking waste a mf got to fucking actually show me not just fucking tell me
He's telling guys that you know that you want to have threesomes with them and you're not sure what to do? You are a beard, sweetheart and he's making an ass of you. Also the secret drug deliveries are a deal breaker.
If he's deeply caring except when it comes to your enjoyment of sex, he is not deeply caring.
So? They explained themselves shortly afterward.
You found out your parents had a life beyond you and dont like it. You need therapy . The actions you took where childish. You made your own misery. They accepted you for who you are. Now go and accept them
There's literally no other guys that live! closer to you, huh?
So a 24 year old man started grooming you when you were just 15? Holy crap! You need out of this relationship. All you've ever known in your young-adult life is being groomed and brainwashed by a predator. ALL OF YOU needs to want to break up. This is sick, twisted relationship. You do NOT need him. You need yourself to be free and in a healthy relationship for someone your age. If you have no family or friends, please call the Hotline for Domestic Violence Victims – 1-800-799-7233. Ask them for help. Tell them everything you've said here.
Tone AND wording matter. Also, you can be a poor judge of your tone. Things come out wrong from people all the time.
You're fucked. For a month? Jesus he's a true psycho.
Most woman here have commented they would breakup if that question was asked. Which I find it unreasonable.
Appreciate your female point of view too!
If she wants someone to breed her, it sounds like you should divorce her.
Just to note this is all the bad stuff that happened. There was a lot of good in this also and she isn’t a horrible person and an extremely amazing mother to her children. Just looking for a little outside insights to this. I appreciate your comment and confirming my thoughts
She isn't commited to you nor does she plan to be. I guess she wants to have a few more yeaes of “fun” before settling down. You are a temporary partner for her. While it might be convenient for her I think it would be better if you didn't lose more of your life waiting until she leaves you and should just break up with her.
You deserve better than that.
My petty ass would respond “yes” and no show.
Your wife has obvious postpartum depression and you’re here whining about how mean she is to you when you’ve been nothing but dismissive and uncaring towards her needs. That poor woman.
Theres no blame, I said he should seek professional help, how would you help someone in that situation?
I'm sitting in my apartment… the only sound is the furnace occasionally kicking on and the ticking clock on the wall.
I rolled my eyes when I read your comment. But with a deep sigh, I whispered….
“I'm not a rehabilitation center for abusive men. I deserve healthy love, respected boundaries, and kind treatment.”
I said it again and again until tears fell. Thank you for your encouragement. ❤️ I'm writing it on my bathroom mirror.
Recovering alcoholic here, that is definitely something I would have done. Just a heads up.
My mom always told me “if you don’t like the way his dad treats his mom, but he doesn’t see a problem with it, walk away” I think this easily applies to sisters, mothers, daughters, etc. I would never date a guy who idolizes his father despite his father being convicted of abusing his baby sister.
OP you see a problem with his father’s behavior and treatment of his sister (so did a jury but anyway); your boyfriend sees nothing wrong with it and makes excuse after excuse for his father. His father is his example of how to treat women and family and in some form or fashion, he will follow suit.
Walk away.
It’s really going to be on her, all you can do is offer to go for anger management classes and/or couples counseling. Then it’s on her to decide. If she hasn’t already, she should get individual counseling as well.
wow you started dating an 18y/o as a 25y/o and are surprised that things aren’t working out?? lol. leave this GIRL alone and attempt to date someone your own age and at your own maturity level- though im gonna be honest it seems like maybe you’re maturity level and insecurity level is that of an 18 year old as well. you had no proof she did literally anything and you were packing your bags? sounds insecure and kinda crazy to me. move on and find some security before you date again. and again finding someone at your life-level might serve you well.
It’s automatically creepy
How does knowing where his house is tell you if he’s abusive or a threat?
He isn’t and you should listen to your family
I was a psych nurse for a very long time. It's not easy to get a guardianship over an adult. The whole point is because the person needs someone to have an influence on their life‐-basically they need someone to make many adult decisions for them. I'm sorry that happened, but I think in the long run, you'll realize it was a good thing.
I also think your being persecuted for something that is biological. They are labeling you as a vile criminal.
has told me to completely cut ties with
You don't have to accept that. Are they next going to be telling you who you can and can't have as friends, and who in your family you have to cut out of your life, just 'cause they don't like 'em or want you to interact with them?
She doesn't want my ex to see the dog, ever.
And she's cruel. Just dump her and be done with it.
Her feelings are understandable
Understandable, yes, acceptable … no, you don't have to put up with or accept that.
hoping to convince her
Don't bother – she prejudges and pushes her mandates on you. Now you go push back and push her out of your life – problem solved!
possible to be in a committed relationship while still being friendly terms with your ex
Absolutely.
This is exactly why you live! with someone for a bit before you marry them. Y'all didn't pass this stage. Only option is to move on
Why don’t you have any friends or family ‘anymore’? What happened to them?
This is either a troll or the son/DIL writing because this account is so skewed and one sided.
You’re being absolutely unreasonable. It takes time to figure these things out.
You don’t have to stay with him, but this is a shitty reason to end a relationship.
Thank you! That was quite the casting call. This is bullshit.
Every comment is shitting on OP and asks if he’s actually helping with the kids lmao… it’s been a year and he hasn’t had sex. It’s NEVER normal and it seems like she doesn’t even care that OP’s needs are not met.
I’m 30 and recently witnessed 2 marriages crash and burn after childbirth. Both cases the sex was just a tool their wives used up until they got what they wanted (kids). After the kids were born, my friends were neglected and sex was started to become a “reward” for “being a good husband” if there was any at all.
It’s been a year OP and you’re clearly unhappy and your needs are unmet. Talk to her, go to therapy or something but don’t neglect your own happiness.
Unless he has done a lot of work and you both have grown up he is just going to cheat again.
Ya. I am hoping to break up with him soon because I don’t want to hurt him either. Thank you for the advice and kind words!
Why are you dating someone who makes you cringe?
What exactly did he say or do while you were on the trip?
Poor dude. At least he has some time and rest now to work on himself
If you’re going to block him after you move out anyway, who cares if he whines and holds stuff over your head? At least if he’s not there you won’t have to worry about him becoming desperate and possibly violent the closer it gets to the end of the month.
Well that stinks.
My opinion is to treat that like it's a breakup for all financial matters : get what is yours, stop supporting her etc…
What is she expecting? That you date again right after or that you wait for her to get better to try again? What about being exclusive (if it is not in the table then it's dead)
In your shoes I would see that as a breakup and would go on with my life because she could either never recover or recover and realise she is better by herself and waiting is just gonna kill you inside.
That’s right
No they don’t. They have sex to feel good. They get compliments to feel valid.
I wouldn’t leave your daughter out of it and when you’re in front of your young daughter, just have her be polite like the babysitter. And for the first few months until you guys know whether you like each other or it’s going to be a thing, I would keep it a secret from your little daughter. That means no PDA.
Chastity?? Is op dating a human or livestock?? That's way overkill and potentially relationship destroying just mentioning it.
So he was a child and you raised your voice. come on both of you do better.
Agree. It was quite presumptuous of him to assume what he did. It also strikes me as peculiar that people can be in a 4 year long relationship and never openly discuss this subject. One would think that someone who sees the level of commitment their partner has to their pets never brought the subject up on their own. One would also think that someone who loves pets so much that they share their life with 10 of them would, at an early point into the relationship at least mention their level of attachment to their pets and that they would never leave them behind. I know exactly how my friends (and even some acquaintances) feel about that subject so it's strange to me that two people who are in a way more serious relationship never had that topic arise way earlier than it did. Even this reaction, OP discussing about it with strangers rather than talk about it in depth with her bf the moment her bf made it clear he expects her to leave the pets behind, feels off to me. Makes me think both OP and her bf communicate at a quite superficial level. Did they discuss other important matters/potential dealbreakers at all?
Well, if that's the case…. I suppose you can lay out what you've said here, and make it clear that this is untenable for you and you are breaking up.
In this instance, I would not lay down an ultimatum about 'more sex or I'm walking' because that is just… well it won't work and there's lots of things that could go really wrong with that.
So yeah. It sounds like it's time to leave. I'm sorry.
Is she a danger to herself? Does she need to be in in-patient care?
Mandated reporters do so because they have to. And they state that up front.
If she truly can't function, and won't agree to any help, you must accept that you can't save her. You have to protect yourself.
You can let her know that she is loved and you are there when she wants to get help, but that you need your space to be happy.
I don’t mind him doing one-on-one things with women. He has a lot of female friends and I knew this when we started dating. Last month he had plans to catch up with one of them at a poetry reading and he invited me along but I told him to go alone so he could have some one-on-one time with her (the only times he’d seen her since we started dating was when I went along). But this girl isn’t his coworker who came out of nowhere and is suddenly texting him all of the time. So yeah it did feel like a date. He said at the show, she was staring at him when the singer said, “this song is about those people you meet in life unexpectedly, like at work” or something and the song that followed was a love song. Who knows if she knew that’s what they’d play but it makes me feel gross.
You probably couldn’t have charged him in 2000, but I would guess he has done it again since. I would still see what you could do.
The telling her and bringing everything out into the open is the best thing to do. Make sure you have all information about her past and you can build a brite future.
Where did I say I can always tell?
I can tell when it's obvious. I am sure I wouldn't be able to tell when done properly.
Well, you live! with it or or you don’t and leave. She doesn’t give a shit how you feel about it. I personally always choose my own pieces of mind first.
Not necessarily. Disagreement with partner is the most intimate type of conflict and usually hits closest to home. I am usually not a cryer, but I sometimes burst into tears arguing with my parents, which I find very frustrating.
I was in a relationship that was like this except the adhd. Let me tell you after an experience like this the kind of s*x that you are about to experience when someone pays attention to you and takes the time and everything – will blow ur mind
Lower ab workouts for the win ??
The title of the sub is relationship advice. My advice: forget he existed. Don't second guess yourself. Move on.
Just make sure she is showing through actions not words. Her words are worthless.
Are you trolling?
I ask because you seem to glibly ignore what people are saying but then continue to ask your initial question: how can I magically fix an addict that doesn't want to get better without making any sacrifices or tough choices?
With separate accounts it doesn't matter if he continues to do what you tolerate him doing every day because he will not be able to spend the money you need for transportation and rent.
You literally just admitted you did not read this post. Maybe go back and read the part about the koala hugging….or just read posts in general before commenting
. Up until about two months ago, he had all of his photos of her (including her nudes) on his phone.
To me, the only real flag so far is him still having had her nudes….once you break up, nudes should be deleted immediately.
Realistically, the dogs have got 10-12 more years left, which means she will inevitably be in our lives for that much longer. I guess I’m just tired of feeling like I’m living in his past. I know he would put his niece and nephew before me every time.
If this isn't working for you, just move on.
OP your problem isn’t your community, its your wife. She reduced your son to a random foreign charity case. Thats really gross behavior from an adult towards a child who is in a new country and environment. He’s already blaming himself. How does she expect to maintain this lie? Or is she planning on your son not being there long and your cooperation in the lie? Is this what she is going to teach your kids?
I think so, too – but what you and I think doesn't make a difference. It's what she thinks that matters, and I doubt very highly the wife in this story took it as intended…
It's understandable that you feel guilty about cheating on your boyfriend, and it's admirable that you've been trying to make it up to him by being more attentive and supportive. However, it's also important to recognize that simply being more attentive doesn't erase the hurt and trust issues that come with infidelity. It's up to your boyfriend to decide if he can truly forgive you and move on from what happened.
Regarding your current situation, it's concerning that your boyfriend seems to be pulling away from you and is not as communicative as he used to be. It's possible that the long-distance is taking a toll on your relationship, and it may be worth discussing with him how you can stay connected despite the distance.
However, it's also important to address the underlying issues in your relationship, such as trust and communication. If your boyfriend is spending time with another woman and it's making you uncomfortable, it's okay to express your feelings and concerns to him. It's important to have open and honest communication, even if it leads to difficult conversations.
It's not productive to label your feelings as “dramatic” or “not allowed” because of what happened in the past. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to address them in a healthy and constructive way.
Ultimately, it's up to you and your boyfriend to decide if you can continue the relationship and work through the challenges that come with it. It may be helpful to seek the guidance of a couples therapist to help navigate these issues
Dude you're painting an entire gender with the same brush based on the experiences you've had in your own social group and its not cool. I know one long term female friend that did coke decades ago as a teen. Out of the other ~10 close female friends I have, not one of them has done it including myself.
You are the company you keep in that you are socializing with people who enjoy drugs. It's not judgment but not EVERYONE does it the way you claim. Most people are NOT snorting coke off a girls breasts. You are hanging out with people that do drugs. If you don't like it, stop silently judging them and meet new people elsewhere. Wherever you have met these friends and girls is probably not where you should be looking for companionship because it doesn't lime up with your values.
Dude you're painting an entire gender with the same brush based on the experiences you've had in your own social group and its not cool. I know one long term female friend that did coke decades ago as a teen. Out of the other ~10 close female friends I have, not one of them has done it including myself.
You are the company you keep in that you are socializing with people who enjoy drugs. It's not judgment but not EVERYONE does it the way you claim. Most people are NOT snorting coke off a girls breasts. You are hanging out with people that do drugs. If you don't like it, stop silently judging them and meet new people elsewhere. Wherever you have met these friends and girls is probably not where you should be looking for companionship because it doesn't lime up with your values.
I already told her all of that and that was before she made a big deal out of it so now I need to think about if I should just let her go. Thanks for your help.
I already told her all of that and that was before she made a big deal out of it so now I need to think about if I should just let her go. Thanks for your help.
regardless of your hobby , you are missing the big picture he wants to commit to you for the rest of his life , hes not offering a stupid stone is his life instead and you are complaining about something so small , so shallow. You should really say no and give back the ring , Im sure he will dodge a bullet
She’s probably already slept with someone else and wants to ease the guilt by telling you to do it too
Dude’s been cheating on her. She probably finds him disgusting bc he is. They should just divorce.
If you want to start the conversation again, on a serious note, then maybe start off the conversation with:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking about the game we played the other day…. About our relationship and finances. If one day we joined out finances what do you think out finances will look like?”
Viagra? So?Lots of men take it. Different libidos – move on chances are it won't change. Simple.
She for the streets
Be a listener and reply to what he says. Doin so can compel you to continue the convo
Lie to dad. Tell him you broke up with bf. Keep him in a very strict info diet. Once you're done with school, go no contact with dad.
He dated someone else & he got dumped. RUN
I'm married with two kids. Not sure where people are having an issue. A guy trying to say he's a SAHD is going to be openly mocked by most people, and his side of the family will likely be embarrassed.
It sucks, just the way society rolls atm.
I'm married with two kids. Not sure where people are having an issue. A guy trying to say he's a SAHD is going to be openly mocked by most people, and his side of the family will likely be embarrassed.
It sucks, just the way society rolls atm.
Basixally this. As a sep issue, if she’s consistently struggling to sleep perhaps she should see her Dr.
yeah that’s true and fair. she’s just my roomate tho so i know i have to work it out between us regardless.
Sounds like a control freak. Unless this changes then may not be the one for you. You will disagree on many things in life (ie child raising) do you really want to deal with this?
A very nice and balanced comment, well done.
He did until COVID ruined his industry. I work full time and support a household and still make time for games with my friends. FFS I invited a guy I ONLY know from gaming to my wedding. Games are fine, and if you have that much of an issue with them, either leave him so he can be happy, or get your own fuckin hobby.
He gives her something OP doesn't, deep conversations. They should break up because their personalities don't mesh. She was willing to put herself in a dangerous situation because she thought she met someone who got her.
Firstly it’s totally ok to not be able to drive at your age there are men way older than you who just rely on public transportation or Ubers exclusively bc driving is a hazardous thing honestly.
Secondly, you are both insanely young and your gf sounds pretty immature. 7 months isn’t a long time but it’s enough to know whether someone is serious about you or not. I will also say that people have rough patches in long term relationships all the time and it’s normal to have weird feelings occasionally
I think tho my naked take is to break up with her. She has said and done things to you that I’d consider inexcusable. Questioning whether you’ve had ‘real love’ is some shit someone who watches too many teen Netflix shows says. Real love = conscious partnership.
She needs to admit to herself she’s jealous her bff banged her ex and that she can’t change that and move the fuck on. He’s not her problem anymore and she can stop being friends with her bff for violating girl code. She needs to stop putting this emotional baggage on you, start having stricter boundaries with her and tell her you do not like this emotional distress over an ex boyfriend when you both have been together for almost a year. She needs to be in therapy and work on this shit or you leave her. You don’t want to spend your 20s with a woman who makes you feel like shit for not being ‘him’ or whatever
Well, stop having unprotected sex and obviously don't fake a pregnancy that is psycho shit. Beyond that well, this is why it is important to be with someone with similar values. It's not working out so it's fine to leave.
It sounds pretty odd to me, and very unfair to push someone like that.
will often make comments that I look/dress gay
What does this even mean? Just makes me think of those old homophobic jokes about lesbians wearing 'sensible shoes'. All kinds of people dress all kinds of ways, it's really not fair to make assumptions about someone based on what they look like.
You cannot control your parents or siblings relationship with your ex. You brought your ex to live! with your family. They developed a relationship with her. It’s unfair for you to expect them to cut her off because you have moved on. You can set boundaries for yourself but you cannot set boundaries for other people. Tell your family you won’t visit if the ex is present, you don’t want to hear updates her life, and your child isn’t going to meet her.
I agree with Blueeyed.
Everybody has been giving you good advice elsewhere and I apologize if someone else mentioned this too (I just didn't want to get lost in the rabbit hole of endless comment scrolling), but I wanted to say this as far as your husband goes:
If you feel as though eventually you will “deserve” being treated the way he's treating you now, but you don't “deserve” those things yet (ie telling you you're beautiful, wanting to look at you full in the lights during sex, etc…), PLEASE emphasize to him that he should not take away any negativity about his actions and words toward you in that regard, and that you do not WANT him to feel as though he should “give up” those things, especially since you recognize there's a cognitive dissonance that exists that you have to resolve.
Explain to him that you KNOW being told those things and being wanted that way SHOULD feel good, and you SHOULD feel wanted and validated, but you're just mentally and emotionally in your own way right now, which is preventing you from appreciating those expressions. If you need to, talk to him and ask him if there is a way for him to continue to express those thoughts to you in a way that “current you” can accept and believe (for example, writing you a little complimentary note tucked away somewhere for you to read when you're by yourself, since by your “working out without him” comment, it seems as though you're still self-conscious in front of him in certain situations).
That way, if verbally or otherwise expressing those things is important to him in order to feel connected to you, he can continue to do so for his mental and emotional well-being, without doing so in a way that undermines his intent by making you uncomfortable.
I hope that word vomit made sense….
I’m exhausted just reading about this boy.
How ridiculous he is acting. Trying to manipulate you. I’d just not respond. Yup. I’d ghost this boy.
Don't.
Why be sad when you're getting rid of someone who doesn't respect you? Why would you want a person like this in your life anyway?
Have a backbone man
Thank you for you answer first we know young kids are a trigger for her that stops one the child is over or around 8 years old due to her having a sister that is way younger then herself. (Trauma from her slightly younger sister having heart problems and in a life or death situation when she was born)
And yeah I've seen/heard how problematic it is and agree that there should be more controlled and secure for the kids :/
She is currently going to therapy regularly and I do at times, thankfully it's cheap if not even free still for us since we are so young. Child from different culture is something I would easily adapt to as I love looking into different cultures and learn.
We both live! in Sweden so adoption is available for us and we do plan on getting married. However I've not managed to find any agency that adopt older children only 5 year olds as “special needs children”
I'm unsure of how it is now but last time I checked surrogacy was not allowed here :/