Do it. The housing issue is more serious than a potential relationship issue. You either roll the dice and get a place to live! with a potential party and a situation that might lead to a housing issue. Or you deal with the actual housing issue now. Either way it's a tough situation. Go the route with a hard room mate lol.
I didn't harass her about Dinner, I just wanted to go out to a rooftop bar with her because she seemed lonely. I never said Dinner. She told me she was anxious and depressed, I just wanted to be nice. I Liked her actually before as a person, now I don't.
Sweetheart no. Just no. This is not your fault and it never was. He knew from the beginning that you weren’t ready for sex. He had a choice. He could have respected your boundaries and waited while you guys were building your relationship or he could have ended it. Instead, he chose to cheat and blame you for it. He wanted his cake and to eat it too. That’s not on you.
It takes as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable to have sex again after what happened. I’m speaking from experience on that. Trust, patience and security in a partner are some of the most important things needed in order to get there. He’s none of those things. He’s not helping you, he’s hurting you. Please stop worrying about hurting him when he clearly has no problems with hurting you.
I think it's better to have clear communication and just let her know how you felt. Not in a telling off kind of way, just in an honest “when this happened I felt this” kind of way. Otherwise it seems like you're expecting her to read your mind about how you're feeling. That's not empathy. Empathy is her listening to how you feel and taking that on board and openly communicating about it. Expecting someone to read your mind is setting them and yourself up for a fall. It leads to resentment on both sides.
My family on my dad's side is all Swedish (blonde hair blue eyes) my mom has green eyes (all her siblings have blue) but my sister and I both have almost black hair, dark brown eyes, and olive skin. We look nothing like the rest of the family haha it just happens sometimes with dominant and recessive genes. ?♂️
So your husband believed this woman, with absolutely NO EVIDENCE?
What apart from apologise has he done? Because an apology just doesn't cut it in this situation.
I understand your comment about wanting your child to be with both of you, but he kicked you our while pregnant. Why did you have to leave and not him
The trust is gone. He's really messed up.
You don't have to rush with a decision… you can still decide later down the line, that you can't do this. He obviously feels really bad about it… so wait and see his he behaves when the baby arrives.
Maybe if he does some serious heavy lifting… your marriage may stand a chance and forgiveness may come.
If you feel you need time away from him before the birth… then please do that and go to your parents. Put YOURSELF first.
Now I'm confused. Spamela frequently claims to be a different person, but she also insults everyone who offers advice and blocks me when I call her out.
Hey thanks for responding! I guess i’m kind of banking on his words, that he is trying his best and that this kind of consistent and frequent communication is really far out of his comfort zone.
I also feel like since he knows that contact is so important to me, it should be something he prioritises. The issue to me is whether this is a problem because i’m asking him to adapt too quickly.. or if it’s really a case where he actually just dgaf.
It was the first time he showed any kind of aggression towards me. At least the kind that I didn't consent to. I know I can be a sore loser as well and I guess I don't want to hold that against him. It really wasn't that bad. It was the kind of playful shove I can imagine he would give to his friends. And I think he kind of missed with his other hand and hit my face instead. But idk, I still think it might be a red flag because that kind of carelessness is maybe a bit dangerous. I'm really not sure though.
Did; doesn’t answer my question, and the other major reply thread didn’t agree with you. And you’ve been told multiple times to ask and listen. Not much more we can tell ya, kiddo.
I’d be less worried about why he’s with you or if he’ll ‘trade you in’ and more concerned about the kind of person that exhibits such predatory behaviour towards a teenager.
Yeah, it sure sounds like there’s a lot of confusion and conversations to be had for sure.
Alex needs to do some soul searching and try to figure out her discomfort about Darcy. Just because they’ve previously helped each other out, doesn’t mean that Alex owes her anything. Alex should look into some individual counselling or therapy to get over the betrayal of a close friend sexually taking advantage.
Even if it implodes the friend group, those friends aren’t worth having. They’re condoning a predator, and you want friends who have your back.
Ultimately all you can do is be supportive of whatever Alex decides to do, but she’ll have to come to her own conclusions.
31F, don’t tell them lol
Do it. The housing issue is more serious than a potential relationship issue. You either roll the dice and get a place to live! with a potential party and a situation that might lead to a housing issue. Or you deal with the actual housing issue now. Either way it's a tough situation. Go the route with a hard room mate lol.
I didn't harass her about Dinner, I just wanted to go out to a rooftop bar with her because she seemed lonely. I never said Dinner. She told me she was anxious and depressed, I just wanted to be nice. I Liked her actually before as a person, now I don't.
At least at reddit they have explained behaviour of your bf which is toxic and certainly had narcisstic tendies
You cannot change your bf
So best to move on to better things in life
It's a bit inappropriate and you should say so with both present.
Sweetheart no. Just no. This is not your fault and it never was. He knew from the beginning that you weren’t ready for sex. He had a choice. He could have respected your boundaries and waited while you guys were building your relationship or he could have ended it. Instead, he chose to cheat and blame you for it. He wanted his cake and to eat it too. That’s not on you.
It takes as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable to have sex again after what happened. I’m speaking from experience on that. Trust, patience and security in a partner are some of the most important things needed in order to get there. He’s none of those things. He’s not helping you, he’s hurting you. Please stop worrying about hurting him when he clearly has no problems with hurting you.
You literally physically abused your partner. It doesn't matter how much they piss you off. People like you should be locked up
If this is real your entire social life is going to fucking implode. Good luck because you're gonna need it.
I think it's better to have clear communication and just let her know how you felt. Not in a telling off kind of way, just in an honest “when this happened I felt this” kind of way. Otherwise it seems like you're expecting her to read your mind about how you're feeling. That's not empathy. Empathy is her listening to how you feel and taking that on board and openly communicating about it. Expecting someone to read your mind is setting them and yourself up for a fall. It leads to resentment on both sides.
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My family on my dad's side is all Swedish (blonde hair blue eyes) my mom has green eyes (all her siblings have blue) but my sister and I both have almost black hair, dark brown eyes, and olive skin. We look nothing like the rest of the family haha it just happens sometimes with dominant and recessive genes. ?♂️
Oof! That sucks! Maybe they are for him?
What if she does?
So your husband believed this woman, with absolutely NO EVIDENCE?
What apart from apologise has he done? Because an apology just doesn't cut it in this situation.
I understand your comment about wanting your child to be with both of you, but he kicked you our while pregnant. Why did you have to leave and not him
The trust is gone. He's really messed up.
You don't have to rush with a decision… you can still decide later down the line, that you can't do this. He obviously feels really bad about it… so wait and see his he behaves when the baby arrives.
Maybe if he does some serious heavy lifting… your marriage may stand a chance and forgiveness may come.
If you feel you need time away from him before the birth… then please do that and go to your parents. Put YOURSELF first.
He is being creepy and is probably interested in you. Just tell him you’re not interested and block him.
Run!
And why isn’t she sending 1k/month?
Now I'm confused. Spamela frequently claims to be a different person, but she also insults everyone who offers advice and blocks me when I call her out.
What idiot spammer are you?
Hey thanks for responding! I guess i’m kind of banking on his words, that he is trying his best and that this kind of consistent and frequent communication is really far out of his comfort zone.
I also feel like since he knows that contact is so important to me, it should be something he prioritises. The issue to me is whether this is a problem because i’m asking him to adapt too quickly.. or if it’s really a case where he actually just dgaf.
Your boyfriend sounds like a 17 year old. Move on and don't let him do this to you
Allowing your children to witness her violence towards you is hurting them. It's already happening now.
It was the first time he showed any kind of aggression towards me. At least the kind that I didn't consent to. I know I can be a sore loser as well and I guess I don't want to hold that against him. It really wasn't that bad. It was the kind of playful shove I can imagine he would give to his friends. And I think he kind of missed with his other hand and hit my face instead. But idk, I still think it might be a red flag because that kind of carelessness is maybe a bit dangerous. I'm really not sure though.
Did; doesn’t answer my question, and the other major reply thread didn’t agree with you. And you’ve been told multiple times to ask and listen. Not much more we can tell ya, kiddo.
I’d be less worried about why he’s with you or if he’ll ‘trade you in’ and more concerned about the kind of person that exhibits such predatory behaviour towards a teenager.
Bro she's not ready. I dated a girl just like this. End it and block her.
She's said she won't go out with this friend again.. but still not understanding what I saw crosses a line.this is where my problem is
Yeah, it sure sounds like there’s a lot of confusion and conversations to be had for sure.
Alex needs to do some soul searching and try to figure out her discomfort about Darcy. Just because they’ve previously helped each other out, doesn’t mean that Alex owes her anything. Alex should look into some individual counselling or therapy to get over the betrayal of a close friend sexually taking advantage.
Even if it implodes the friend group, those friends aren’t worth having. They’re condoning a predator, and you want friends who have your back.
Ultimately all you can do is be supportive of whatever Alex decides to do, but she’ll have to come to her own conclusions.
Thanks so much for your input. Compersion can be hard at times, and not everybody has it, but not yucking your yum. Have the relationship you like 🙂