This is talked about but I really don't think it's said enough. Relationships are a lot of hot purposeful work that's very rewarding if you're with the right person. The thing is people expect to have happy and healthy relationships by default without the work, they get caught up in thing such as “the one” and expect relationships to be happy and euphoric all the time. Relationships involved a lot of sacrifices and compromises, so “the one” is the person who is willing to work with you and work towards future goals with you
porn is not reality, it is a kind of scy-fy. thus:,names are just a trademarks or a categories, as any fictionnal character. if you search for Lara Croft or Tracy Lord, this is not a real girl in the common meaning of the word. “sunny” is just a short for “blond curly redhead pregnant in threesome with BBC” or any other specific kink. on the other hand, most mainstream SW are anonymous for a reason : they are mainstream.
i fully understand that someone dislike porn or hate that her bf look at porn. and i understand that some categories are off limit or too much. but refusing the same just because a name is associated to it is puzzling for me.
He's doing this, not his parents. I'm sorry but this is who he is. No matter what his reasons are, the fact is he doesn't care enough about you to be with you. It could be because he is simply a weak person or for a number of other reasons.
But it doesn't matter. I'm very sorry and I just want to say that I have been in your situation so trust me when I say I get it. You don't want to be with someone like him.
The thing is I don't mind breaking up with him over something that crucial. So number 1 is not a issue to me.
Number 2 won't happen cause I won't repeatedly bring this up. I brought it up once.
Also, breaking up is not the end of the world. I love him more than anything. If he doesn't love me enough to be open with me than that is on him. I have given him all the space and room and love and understanding in every single aspect of our lives. With that comes responsibility. If he has a child with another woman he did not tell me about it will be over between us. That is not me being petty.
Number 3, 4 and 5 will def not happen. I have restraint and if I feel I do not trust it I will tell him. I don't need to bring anyone else into it.
I am not accusing anyone. We have open transparant conversations. I approach it with complete vulnerability. I don't come in barging in with accusations so you are projecting a lot of things on to me in your 5 points that would not be me nor apply to the situation.
Mind you, he also had another woman come into his job looking for him cause she said he was the father of her child. He has a quite the sketchy past. I was helping him get passed it and grow with me. But that also means my trust needs to be seen as valuable enough to be repaid with honesty.
Did he say it in a negative way? Is there something you're leaving out? It may have been tactless to say, but wondering how it would feel seems like a natural thought process.
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, ehh… live! and learn, doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. No shame.
I think your view of being over it is a good one. There's nothing to blame yourself for though. Put it this way, it could've easily kept going into a full blown relationship if it was a different person so clearly you wouldn't have been the fool.
The fact she's done this twice, only reflects on her character, not yours. It's the kind of thing you could give a pass to the first time because some people can be properly vicious and hostile when being told no. Two times though, that sounds like cowardice and a callous approach to the feelings of others. Either that or she's got a lot whirling in the head and… helllooo project o'clock.
So just take the wins. For the time you had, it was a nice time. A date, some kissy face AND a lucky escape from someone who picks up and drops people easily. If you didn't give her the second chance you might be sitting at home, thinking “what if?” and that's never good.
Unless you start putting yourself in bad situations/lending money out to anyone with a smile etc… thinking good of people by default isn't a character flaw.
Your bf wants to have a baby with another woman despite being in a relationship with you. Of course this is causing you emotional distress! You’re not feeling acknowledged by your bf and you’re uncertain about your future together.
Uufff he knows you adore him, and he feels safe that you won’t cheat on him. But he is resenting having to “settle” the fact that he doesn’t like your -personality-???? Come on, then why is he with you? Have some pride Op leave that man
I've read your posts and your man sounds exhausting. He's so self concerned only at every turn. Easily offended. I can't imagine what qualities would make this tolerable.
Contact his future wife to be and send her screenshots of his conversation with you and then block him. She needs to know what a piece of shit he is and you need to get him out of your life.
Break up with her. Her doing the 4 months is not joking. You were not laughing. Having dark humor is not hurting other people. Having a dark sense of humor is not being ruthless with a joke.
Second she lied to her friends so that means she is going to be looking to hook up with other guys. There is no other reason why she would lie about that.
How I understand it she hung out with a guy she had a sexual past with without telling you about the guy ever and hid hanging out with him to you. That is childish. I highly doubt that she only had a couple of drinks with him in the afternoon. If so why did she not tell you about meeting up with him. Then when caught not being honest and hanging out with a guy you had no idea about turned it around and made it you were to blame.
She is not how you think she is. You are in love with who you think she is. You can do better, so do better. If I was you I would just break up with her by stating why and then leaving right away.
When i talk about longevity, i mean that i'm worried she may have a tendency to run from responsibility, which may be a bad thing in a relationship… i don't really know how to ask that friend about details because a few days have passed since then
raises hand I knew from early on in our relationship that my now wife had a folder in her email account of dick pics from her Tinder days. And yes, some are guys she went on dates with.
Do I care? Nope. Does she occasionally rub one out while looking at them? I don't know nor care.
Early on, a few guys sniffed around, seeing if she was available. She told them no and told me about it. I trust her.
Personally, I don't keep pics of exes in a spank bank cause I have no interest. That being said, no one can control what someone else masterbates to. You can have a rule that no saved pics are allowed, but you aren't going to stop someone from getting off to a memory or fantasy. It's a losing battle. It is better to get over your insecurities and move on.
One more thing. My ex-girlfriend was extremely insecure and jealous. She didn't want me looking at any porn (I did), she didn't want me to masterbate (I did), and while I had no hot pics of exes before her, she secretly went through all my paper photos and threw away any pic of my first wife. Not pics out on display. Pics in old photo albums or loose in a box. And I think that's bullshit.
Two despicable pigs
you clearly lack reading comprehension.
By leaving. He's a manipulator and toxic. Not a safe partner at all
Tell him that you are possessed…..possessed by clarity of vision and intolerance of lying and manipulation. Then tell him to have a nice, fake life.
You mean ex boyfriend? Even before he hit you, his behavior sucked.
This is talked about but I really don't think it's said enough. Relationships are a lot of hot purposeful work that's very rewarding if you're with the right person. The thing is people expect to have happy and healthy relationships by default without the work, they get caught up in thing such as “the one” and expect relationships to be happy and euphoric all the time. Relationships involved a lot of sacrifices and compromises, so “the one” is the person who is willing to work with you and work towards future goals with you
i think you may fall in a misconception here.
porn is not reality, it is a kind of scy-fy. thus:,names are just a trademarks or a categories, as any fictionnal character. if you search for Lara Croft or Tracy Lord, this is not a real girl in the common meaning of the word. “sunny” is just a short for “blond curly redhead pregnant in threesome with BBC” or any other specific kink. on the other hand, most mainstream SW are anonymous for a reason : they are mainstream.
i fully understand that someone dislike porn or hate that her bf look at porn. and i understand that some categories are off limit or too much. but refusing the same just because a name is associated to it is puzzling for me.
is there something you omit to tell us ?
Pretty sure he’s probably not looking to seriously date anyone. He supposedly wants to meet up when he’s in town in a few weeks
You seem super fucking annoying.
He's doing this, not his parents. I'm sorry but this is who he is. No matter what his reasons are, the fact is he doesn't care enough about you to be with you. It could be because he is simply a weak person or for a number of other reasons.
But it doesn't matter. I'm very sorry and I just want to say that I have been in your situation so trust me when I say I get it. You don't want to be with someone like him.
The thing is I don't mind breaking up with him over something that crucial. So number 1 is not a issue to me.
Number 2 won't happen cause I won't repeatedly bring this up. I brought it up once.
Also, breaking up is not the end of the world. I love him more than anything. If he doesn't love me enough to be open with me than that is on him. I have given him all the space and room and love and understanding in every single aspect of our lives. With that comes responsibility. If he has a child with another woman he did not tell me about it will be over between us. That is not me being petty.
Number 3, 4 and 5 will def not happen. I have restraint and if I feel I do not trust it I will tell him. I don't need to bring anyone else into it.
I am not accusing anyone. We have open transparant conversations. I approach it with complete vulnerability. I don't come in barging in with accusations so you are projecting a lot of things on to me in your 5 points that would not be me nor apply to the situation.
Mind you, he also had another woman come into his job looking for him cause she said he was the father of her child. He has a quite the sketchy past. I was helping him get passed it and grow with me. But that also means my trust needs to be seen as valuable enough to be repaid with honesty.
I suppose that would work, although I plan on telling my mum first, as I feel like she might react to it a little more positively
The best advice I can give is to stay separated as he's giving off a lot of red flags and gaslighting you to hell.
If you went ring shopping with her and she already knows you’re going to propose, just tell her the ring isn’t ready yet.
I was going to suggest “dipshit limp dick”
Did he say it in a negative way? Is there something you're leaving out? It may have been tactless to say, but wondering how it would feel seems like a natural thought process.
Please takeza mome t to look inward first.
/r/boneappletea
I’m sorry this happened to you and now you probably feel more alone than you have in years.
You deserve better than your gf. Please leave her and find someone willing to Love all of you
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, ehh… live! and learn, doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. No shame.
I think your view of being over it is a good one. There's nothing to blame yourself for though. Put it this way, it could've easily kept going into a full blown relationship if it was a different person so clearly you wouldn't have been the fool.
The fact she's done this twice, only reflects on her character, not yours. It's the kind of thing you could give a pass to the first time because some people can be properly vicious and hostile when being told no. Two times though, that sounds like cowardice and a callous approach to the feelings of others. Either that or she's got a lot whirling in the head and… helllooo project o'clock.
So just take the wins. For the time you had, it was a nice time. A date, some kissy face AND a lucky escape from someone who picks up and drops people easily. If you didn't give her the second chance you might be sitting at home, thinking “what if?” and that's never good.
Unless you start putting yourself in bad situations/lending money out to anyone with a smile etc… thinking good of people by default isn't a character flaw.
Your bf wants to have a baby with another woman despite being in a relationship with you. Of course this is causing you emotional distress! You’re not feeling acknowledged by your bf and you’re uncertain about your future together.
Of course break up with him. This isn’t working.
What do you mean he doesn't like awards? Just say thank and move on…what an idiot
Wait, four years? You were 16 and he was 23 when you got together?
Oh, OP.
According to Dr Phil there is no such person as your soul mate. I don't think you are an A hole but you are not life partner material.
If you care about your partner, you'll set him free. He deserves a partner that is head over heels in love with him. Clearly not you.
she lion
Uufff he knows you adore him, and he feels safe that you won’t cheat on him. But he is resenting having to “settle” the fact that he doesn’t like your -personality-???? Come on, then why is he with you? Have some pride Op leave that man
I've read your posts and your man sounds exhausting. He's so self concerned only at every turn. Easily offended. I can't imagine what qualities would make this tolerable.
Being nice doesn't mean you have to be spineless. Treating people with respect is the bare minimum for any healthy relationship.
“Just being honest” without any regard for how your words affect other people just makes you ass hole.
Being nice doesn't mean you have to be spineless. Treating people with respect is the bare minimum for any healthy relationship.
“Just being honest” without any regard for how your words affect other people just makes you ass hole.
I’d typically laugh at a comment like that but ouch ?
Well there it is folks, the reason this person keeps getting rejected.
Contact his future wife to be and send her screenshots of his conversation with you and then block him. She needs to know what a piece of shit he is and you need to get him out of your life.
Break up with her. Her doing the 4 months is not joking. You were not laughing. Having dark humor is not hurting other people. Having a dark sense of humor is not being ruthless with a joke.
Second she lied to her friends so that means she is going to be looking to hook up with other guys. There is no other reason why she would lie about that.
How I understand it she hung out with a guy she had a sexual past with without telling you about the guy ever and hid hanging out with him to you. That is childish. I highly doubt that she only had a couple of drinks with him in the afternoon. If so why did she not tell you about meeting up with him. Then when caught not being honest and hanging out with a guy you had no idea about turned it around and made it you were to blame.
She is not how you think she is. You are in love with who you think she is. You can do better, so do better. If I was you I would just break up with her by stating why and then leaving right away.
When i talk about longevity, i mean that i'm worried she may have a tendency to run from responsibility, which may be a bad thing in a relationship… i don't really know how to ask that friend about details because a few days have passed since then
raises hand I knew from early on in our relationship that my now wife had a folder in her email account of dick pics from her Tinder days. And yes, some are guys she went on dates with.
Do I care? Nope. Does she occasionally rub one out while looking at them? I don't know nor care.
Early on, a few guys sniffed around, seeing if she was available. She told them no and told me about it. I trust her.
Personally, I don't keep pics of exes in a spank bank cause I have no interest. That being said, no one can control what someone else masterbates to. You can have a rule that no saved pics are allowed, but you aren't going to stop someone from getting off to a memory or fantasy. It's a losing battle. It is better to get over your insecurities and move on.
One more thing. My ex-girlfriend was extremely insecure and jealous. She didn't want me looking at any porn (I did), she didn't want me to masterbate (I did), and while I had no hot pics of exes before her, she secretly went through all my paper photos and threw away any pic of my first wife. Not pics out on display. Pics in old photo albums or loose in a box. And I think that's bullshit.