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I’m glad you can go to your mom’s. I had HBP and was induced for pre eclampsia and it’s no joke. You need to take care of you. You have income, he needs to chill out and not stress you out to grow a healthy baby. It sounds like you have a plan for the future, but you need to be healthy. He should be more worried about your health rather than a paycheck.
You don't need a boyfriend.
You need a snuggly dog and a therapist. There are so many loving, wonderful pets out there that you can save. That you can give a good home to.
You clearly have a lot of kindness to give. Give it to someone that deserves that love and kindness. Give it to someone that gives that love right back.
If OPs bf is like this she needs to dump his ass ASAP
Well you went behind your boyfriends back to meet an ex. Innocent or not, you didn’t tell him. How would you feel if he done this?
please tell her. there are kids involved ffs. would you want to know the father of your 4 kids is cheating on you? you're being a decent human by telling her, what she does and how she reacts is on her. if she reacts badly, all you can do is say sorry and block them both. you're doing your part. think of the kids involved. that hurts me honestly.
Would you prefer Papi or Dad?
5 years is not that much tbh, and i dont think it cannot be worked around. The problem here is their different views on things. He doesn't seem to enjoy this stuff, she does. Thus he doesn't want her to go out, she loves it. They could both be 26 with different views on it (for the record I'm 25 and don't understand people who stay out clubbing often).
LDR are hard. It is better to find a way to make it a regular close up relationship as soon as humanly possible. If you have good chemistry, figure out who is moving and when. A goal, a finish line helps.
Your boyfriend is going on a date with his ex girlfriend who thinks he is still single. I don’t think you have a boyfriend.
It’s not like she went on there to snoop or even without permission. He asked her to go into his laptop and he left messages up that involved talking about her. You wouldn’t look as well? Most people would and I feel it’s warranted.
Your last relationship has caused you to drop your expectations way too low. Your new bf is controlling and self-centered. It's a different kind of abuse.
We were on a break!!!
See seasons 3-10 of Friends to see how this played out.
Why!? Why why why!!! Why can’t I love her but want more for her! Why is not at all better than almost everything? WHY!
Then an hr later we talked privately about it and she’s not sorry, she’s not apologizing , She’s right i’m wrong, then starts to blame me for other bullshit things we’ve argued about in the past and that we’re dead and gone already. Just like bringing something up so I can be at blame for SOMETHING. How do I help her see that she disrespected me? I feel disrespected as hell.
Why do you think she will listen to what you say?
Don't ignore the huge red flag. She went behind your back, hid your dog's medication, she didn't apologise. Why bother?
No
you have been dating for 4 years, your 25 and he is 30, your both out of college.
if he isn't ready to marry you now, he probably never will be.
you said you got into a huge fight, over what exactly? and why. how did it escalate to a huge fight exactly?. a conversation doesn't just escalate to an argument on its own, someone raised their volume level & changed their tone, who did that first?
are you two that in-capable of sitting down together and talking about the tough & serious stuff together? does one person always turn the conversation into yelling and arguing, who is that, you or him?
sit down and have a real conversation together, actually listen to what he says that makes him Not ready, is there some type of goal or thing he wants to achieve/complete.
completing college or eliminating a huge amount of debt or resolving back taxes are a few i can think of as reasons to delay marriage, and even then, not a reason to delay the proposal, just the marriage.
him leaving for a few days because he cannot have an adult conversation is a massive red flag. either your not letting him talk or your not listening to exactly what he says, what his concerns are and how he feels about it, or he is immature and incapable of even having that conversation, which in itself is your answer.
I broke up with her for still going to her parents room at 22. You can stay with her OP but get ready, this is merely the opening exercise into the crazy af world she’s living in. Don’t try to save her. Can you imagine if you ever have to go on a business trip, nope, she can’t sleep alone as a grown woman.
Toys.
For only 2 months? I think it’s reasonable
I would personally say no. I'm a woman and I believe in independence. I on-line within my means and try my best to stay out of debt. You may not be financially compatible
Whats the big deal with the shift and why it is so good, is it because the timings are really good or the job is easier?
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
Nothing good will come of messaging his ex.
I see you've also bought into the worldview. BPD was misdiagnosed/overdiagnosed for a long time, but autism — no, not really, that's not supported by literature, that's a worldview thing. Unless you can provide literally anything showing genetic evidence or that any of these cases have preexisting information about developmental delay on file, what you're actually doing is switching to a new version of autism. I don't understand why it needs to be combined with PTSD, typically PTSD itself covers the symptoms.
Generally when adults shop for a “neurodivergent” diagnosis (autism or ADHD), what they report is a feeling of relief that they're not a fuckup and they have actually been living life on “hard mode.” They would rather view themselves as being “special” than admit that they may have other things going on that make life “hard mode” and stop comparing themselves to other people. It's actually a massive sign of weakness and failure to continue to obsessively compare and define yourself in relation to others, but to need a magic word to explain why you aren't living up to their standards — as if bipolar or PTSD aren't “hard” on their own. I've seen people say they “need” the dx for accomodations at work, but both bipolar and PTSD are disabilities and are not any less protected, all you need to do is explain to your clinician what accomodation you need and why. I have never heard of anyone saying “b-but only autistic people need that!”, just people feeling invalidated because they got a diagnosis and it wasn't the one they wanted.
Honestly, the level of navel-gazing and self-obsession seems strange to me in general, and it's not something I trust.
Again, if you can provide a single study showing that a self-diagnosed/doctor shopping nerd with a drug problem (BPD misdiagnosis) shares anything meaningful genetically with a nonverbal, high needs person who cannot on-line independently or form relationships, I'll eat my own hat. It's absolutely recruiting.
I’d say there’s a big chance he does like you or he wouldn’t have been interested in whether you were dating your guy friend.
I also don’t think it be weird to follow him. You have 1 mutual friend and see each other at the gym all the time. Like another redditor said, follow him and see if he follows back.
Girl he's not even proud enough to show you to his friends and instead use your sister photo. You really do want to be with someone like that?
You don’t explain it. You say “I am breaking up” and leave it at that.
It doesn’t really matter the reason because nothing you say makes it easier. It’s just gonna hurt for the other person. That’s how it goes.
The most mature thing you can do is take ownership of the hurt, don’t make excuses, and let your partner say whatever they gotta say to feel better. Then move on and do your thing.
I believe being polite to visitors and not sulking right in front of them has been in existence much longer than 25 years
I will say that yes getting the IUD put in kind of sucked, but I love mine. I lost most of the weight I gained from the pill, my periods are way lighter and less painful, and I only ever get acne around my period anymore
Although if what she says is the truth, it doesn't change the fact that she indeed cheated.
You have to make it clear that you are very sorry about what happened to her, but because of her cheating you can no longer be with her.
Maybe you can still be friends and help her through this or not.
Do you want to be in your son’s life? It seems it’s either him or them. It isn’t a good situation no matter how you look at it.
your SIL probably should have said something privately to her parents and brother before bringing her GF
SIL shouldn't have to feel like she's walking into a minefield. She's revealing she's gay not that she's going to do something awful and wants to prep them for it. The problem is entirely the parents and OP's husband.
Thank you
I'll leave that one with you, as therapists say!
I think the OP needs to carefully look at who she is dating. This is NOT normal behavior for a guy to constantly be doing things like this, especially after she has “talked to him about it”.
Leaving marks, welts, and bruises on a regular basis is abuse.
The relationship is still very brief, get out while you can
Actually it's how I got half my jobs sometimes your application gets lost in others atleast in gas station/food..other similar industries and shows that you actually care about getting the job
You are over 25 and he is not yet 40. Looks ok.
He says you ignore him when you two are on vacation and it just might be, Op.
However, when you ask him how/why/where/how he
*He didn't answer and kept deflecting with jokes, goofing around with me or playing a game on his phone*
You tried a few times to get details but he keeps blowing you off, correct, Op?
What the he11 are you supposed to do? You can't read his mind so~~
You are racking your brain, taking on an issue that you have no idea what it's about.
I'm thinking, he doesn't want to go on vacation with other people. And that's okay as long as he tells you this. You can decide on what YOU want to do about this.
But complaining about this and refusing to talk to you about it is goofy.
Him: I don't like to eat at the places you choose.
You: Where would you like to go out to eat?
Him:
You: Where would you like to go out to eat?
Him:
You: pulling your hair out trying to fix something you have no clue about.
You can't tell me you are upset about X when you refuse to tell me WHY you are upset about X.
It's goofy.
The girl you thought she does not exist. You saw what you wanted to see
See an attorney now
There is no coming back from this
She CHOSE to end the marriage
I mean, I’d consider saying “passing it on” isn’t “being contagious” pretty stupid.
I’d also consider calling your weak source a medical journal pretty stupid, or deceptive, but again – we already established your levels of honesty are … not great.
but when you do that stuff it makes me feel bad
Why? Is she guilty for not helping clean?
Oh look at that, no answer, and you have to make up some stuff about sex which has nothing to do with the situation since I’m ace.
Sit down.
you cannot do anything. She is a child and she needs professional help.
you did the right thing by telling her parents.
You need to understand that her problems are about her, and if what she does makes you angry, you may need to separate yourself from the situation. She has major major issues. Working on those are going to be her priority.
Why do you care what people do?!
Why she isn't comfortable talking about sex, it took years before she was comfortable with letting me go down on her and even then she will never explicitly request it and I wish she would as I want to do what makes her feel good and not only what I think of (After the fact she always enjoys it very much), her relationship with her parents which she occasionally talks a bit about but she for example never mentions her father in sessions from what she tells me,
You've got to get real and handle this in a mature way.
There is no reason to articulate this man's flaws when you end the relationship. Tell him that you have to end your friendship because you've realized that you do not want an in person relationship with him.
It may be better to send him a text because you have been unable to deliver this message over the phone.
You need to do this today. There is nothing wrong with making the romantic choice that works for you. However, it is very wrong to lead someone on.
That's great then! Glad you have found your system. I'm also not a traditional woman, and while I'd like to on-line with my partner for extended periods of time I fully plan to get my own room when I'll have an house (god I wish) so I can sleep alone sometimes, lol. We just have to do our best to live! an happy life.
That's one hell of an omission. Dump worthy.