If he's the kind of person you'd want to build a life with, he'll be a good father. He'll be there for his baby when they're screaming in the middle of the night, and when they have doctors appointments, and when they're teething and colicky and learning to walk. Soon, he's going to be making decisions on bedtime routines and whether or not to sleep train and if they'll go to daycare and what preschool they should go to. His life will be taken up completely by his child, because that's what parents do. It's what children deserve. He'll be proud of every milestone, every first tooth and first word and first step. All of his money will go to this baby, their clothes and diapers and rash creams and toys and zoo passes and daycare. All of his time will go to this baby, because they need 24/7 care. That's what a baby deserves. And he'll be doing all of this with another woman, because this will be their baby and they'll need to be on the same page in order to give that child what they deserve. He'll be supporting her when their child is sick, when things are stressful, when they're worried about finances. He'll see his ex all of the time. He'll talk to her about this baby all of the time, because they'll be the only people who get it. Children should be celebrated, and if you don't want kids, you won't want to be the stepmother of a newborn infant when your relationship is so new. You haven't made a commitment to spend your life with this man, and if you stay now you'll either never really be a part of this child's life because you didn't commit at the start (which would not be ideal for either of you down the line), or you'll find yourself trapped with a man you don't want to be with because you'll lose a child you've been helping to raise since day one if you leave him. This relationship is too new and you're too young to make this kind of commitment. It's not fair to ask it of you. And if you stay now, it will be a commitment, because babies take over ever single part of a parent's life and his baby will take over yours. I'm my opinion, this isn't about whether or not his lie of omission was OK, it's about thr fact that his life is about to go down a completely different path that you don't want and haven't signed up for. And if none of this is true, if he isn't involved, he's a shitty dad, and shitty dad's don't make good partners. I don't care at all if people don't want to have kids, but neglecting a child you do have is absolutely unacceptable.
Gotcha, sort of an FYI thing just in case you didn't know. You said “a private room w/ bathroom goes for $750 – $1250” but I didn't see you mention how much the rent is where you're living now? That makes a big difference to me. So I guess before I answer I'd want to know how much the rent is and if any of your siblings are minors?
If he's the kind of person you'd want to build a life with, he'll be a good father. He'll be there for his baby when they're screaming in the middle of the night, and when they have doctors appointments, and when they're teething and colicky and learning to walk. Soon, he's going to be making decisions on bedtime routines and whether or not to sleep train and if they'll go to daycare and what preschool they should go to. His life will be taken up completely by his child, because that's what parents do. It's what children deserve. He'll be proud of every milestone, every first tooth and first word and first step. All of his money will go to this baby, their clothes and diapers and rash creams and toys and zoo passes and daycare. All of his time will go to this baby, because they need 24/7 care. That's what a baby deserves. And he'll be doing all of this with another woman, because this will be their baby and they'll need to be on the same page in order to give that child what they deserve. He'll be supporting her when their child is sick, when things are stressful, when they're worried about finances. He'll see his ex all of the time. He'll talk to her about this baby all of the time, because they'll be the only people who get it. Children should be celebrated, and if you don't want kids, you won't want to be the stepmother of a newborn infant when your relationship is so new. You haven't made a commitment to spend your life with this man, and if you stay now you'll either never really be a part of this child's life because you didn't commit at the start (which would not be ideal for either of you down the line), or you'll find yourself trapped with a man you don't want to be with because you'll lose a child you've been helping to raise since day one if you leave him. This relationship is too new and you're too young to make this kind of commitment. It's not fair to ask it of you. And if you stay now, it will be a commitment, because babies take over ever single part of a parent's life and his baby will take over yours. I'm my opinion, this isn't about whether or not his lie of omission was OK, it's about thr fact that his life is about to go down a completely different path that you don't want and haven't signed up for. And if none of this is true, if he isn't involved, he's a shitty dad, and shitty dad's don't make good partners. I don't care at all if people don't want to have kids, but neglecting a child you do have is absolutely unacceptable.
You didn’t cheat.
You were raped.
Gotcha, sort of an FYI thing just in case you didn't know. You said “a private room w/ bathroom goes for $750 – $1250” but I didn't see you mention how much the rent is where you're living now? That makes a big difference to me. So I guess before I answer I'd want to know how much the rent is and if any of your siblings are minors?